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Thread: Should I try to pursue further?

  1. #1
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    Should I try to pursue further?

    So there is this girl I like that works at the gym I go to and she's just gorgeous, so I went up to her the other day introduced myself then gave her my number. Haven't gotten a text or call. Shouldn't be surprising. I'm not a bad looking person either. I'm not the type of guy that just wants to hit it and quit it. I don't just pursue girls left and right. In fact I've only had one other girlfriend in my intire life, it's not because I can't get anyone or I don't have any confidence, but I just quite frankly haven't been interested in any of the girls I've met to be honest, and I used to work at a hotel for ten years so I've met a lot of women. I don't usually commit to a girl unless I'm really interested in her. And to be honest I'm the kind of guy that is a believer of love at first sight in a sense. That's what it was when I saw her, although one sided clearly. Getting to the point, she hasn't texted or called two almost three days later. I guess my problem is I don't beat around the bush, I didn't build any relationship with her at all before giving her my number, I just flat out did it. I'm also not a quitter and I'm kinda driving myself crazy here trying to figure out what to do. I really would love to get to know her but it seems like it's a no go and it really sucks. Part of me wants to try one more time but I truly don't know what would be the best thing to do. I don't wanna come off as a creep to her. Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

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    Let's say I did try one more time, I wouldn't know exactly how I should go about doing it. The problem is she's really busy, and I don't like interrupting her while she's working, but I also want to have a conversation with her so it makes things tough. If I tried again, would giving her a note or something be the best route to take? I personally don't really like that but I can't really think of anything else.

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    Dont. At best, just casually exchange a sentence or 2 when you see her, keep it light and fun, don't mention anything about the number. Then smile and go workout.

    The truth is a woman knows in about 2 minutes if she will go out with you or not (meaning she at least finds some attraction initially). Talking about little bit first is nice, but you really don't have to talk that much honestly.

    However, you know nothing about this woman. She may currently be seeing somebody else. I would just let it go and keep moving on as if she's not interested. But follow the advice in paragraph #1
    Last edited by GLYC; 21-06-17 at 01:58 AM.

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    As much as I myself have often pondered the idea of giving a woman my number instead of asking for hers (because I am crazy shy and, for whatever reason, that feels easier) I think that's maybe not the best idea. I think better to either A) just ask her out or B) ask her for her number. I could be wrong, though. I'm not exactly an expert in this area.

    As it is, whether or not I am right or wrong, that advice comes too late anyway. So, allow me to respond to what you asked...

    I'd agree with GLYC. I would say you remain friendly and nice to her, but don't try again, don't ask her to call/why she hasn't, don't even say anything about it. You gave her your number. I think it is pretty obvious why somebody would do that. So, if she's interested she'll call/text. If she's not interested, then she's not likely to change her mind just because you ask again. In fact, by NOT bringing it up.... yet remaining friendly, you may even help your chances. Maybe she wasn't interested in texting/calling.... but more because she didn't know you well enough to be interested. Maybe, getting to know you a little better, she would be. And, again, maybe not as well. My point just being, you've made you interest clear. For now, just see if/where that goes.

    Good luck to you! I hope she does give you a chance, but if she doesn't then there WILL be another girl who will. Don't lose hope.

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    When you gave her your number did she give you HER number back? I will assume she did not if you are waiting on her to call you back instead of you calling her on your own. I wouldn't bother especially if when you gave her your number and might not have got her digits back. If she texts or calls, great but don't wait in hoping she does.

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    Thanks for the responses. I'll be more detailed with you guys so you understand the situation better. My gym is gigantic with a lot of people going everyday including me. There are free towels there and a lot of them and everyone uses them. So her job is to pick up those towels, take the clean ones with a basket she pushes around all day and stack the towels on shelves around the whole gym. She's constantly moving and very busy so as much as I wanted to get her my number I knew I couldn't being that I knew she was busy and needed to get to work. When she came down the hall of the gym I stopped her and asked what her name was then shook her hand introducing myself then gave her a folded up sticky note and told her I'd be the happiest man ever if she just take it, she smiled, said thanks then I left. I was pretty straight forward, maybe to much. I wonder if she thought I was just giving her trash to throw away for me because I'm lazy or something. That would be stupid but hilarious at the same time. Seriously doubt it but I keep an open mind. It's hard and awkward because I walk passed her almost everyday and don't make eye contact and I just keep walking. I don't wanna make an ass of myself and say something stupid or do something stupid. It's kind of a lose lose because I really want to do something and try again but I just don't know. I know you guys say act like nothing happened basically and make small talk but I really suck at small talk and lying. I'll do it if I have to but I'd prefer not to. Sorry for being repetitive but quitting just doesn't run in my bloodstream so forgive me for not giving this up. Any further suggestions are much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BeardedMan View Post
    Thanks for the responses. I'll be more detailed with you guys so you understand the situation better. My gym is gigantic with a lot of people going everyday including me. There are free towels there and a lot of them and everyone uses them. So her job is to pick up those towels, take the clean ones with a basket she pushes around all day and stack the towels on shelves around the whole gym. She's constantly moving and very busy so as much as I wanted to get her my number I knew I couldn't being that I knew she was busy and needed to get to work. When she came down the hall of the gym I stopped her and asked what her name was then shook her hand introducing myself then gave her a folded up sticky note and told her I'd be the happiest man ever if she just take it, she smiled, said thanks then I left. I was pretty straight forward, maybe to much. I wonder if she thought I was just giving her trash to throw away for me because I'm lazy or something. That would be stupid but hilarious at the same time. Seriously doubt it but I keep an open mind. It's hard and awkward because I walk passed her almost everyday and don't make eye contact and I just keep walking. I don't wanna make an ass of myself and say something stupid or do something stupid. It's kind of a lose lose because I really want to do something and try again but I just don't know. I know you guys say act like nothing happened basically and make small talk but I really suck at small talk and lying. I'll do it if I have to but I'd prefer not to. Sorry for being repetitive but quitting just doesn't run in my bloodstream so forgive me for not giving this up. Any further suggestions are much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
    It's not quitting, its knowing when to cut your losses, and when to move on towards something else.
    Women love it when you have that attitude.

    You're falling into the illusion of action. Thinking "I need to do something to make this woman like me!"
    The truth is you don't have to do jack shit. With women, you either got a shot or you don't.
    If her interest is below a 50%, meaning just under that "Yeah, I would maybe go out with him". There's nothing you can do about it.

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    Understood. Thanks a bunch.

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    Also, don't worry about saying stupid things to women. They're people just like us. Just talk to them like you already know them.
    The harder you try the more you fail which is where the confidence comes in handy. If she doesn't laugh at your dumb jokes, she probably isn't interested.

    I was on a first date with a woman and within 5-10 minutes we were talking about camping which lead to making bear grylls jokes about drinking your own piss.
    "Well, I've been out here for about two hours now, looks like I better drink my own piss"
    She was loving the conversation and dying from laughter. Lol.
    Last edited by GLYC; 22-06-17 at 08:03 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GLYC View Post
    It's not quitting, its knowing when to cut your losses, and when to move on towards something else.
    Women love it when you have that attitude.

    You're falling into the illusion of action. Thinking "I need to do something to make this woman like me!"
    The truth is you don't have to do jack shit. With women, you either got a shot or you don't.
    If her interest is below a 50%, meaning just under that "Yeah, I would maybe go out with him". There's nothing you can do about it.
    Couldn't agree with this more. Yes, being somebody who isn't willing to quit is definitely a GREAT quality to have.... but not up to a point of stubbornness. As GLYC says, there also comes a time to realize when it is the right thing to move on. That isn't the same as quitting. If there was maybe a chance with her, then it would be quitting to give up on that without trying. If it seems like there isn't a chance/she isn't interested, then it is just making a smart, informed decision to move on rather than continuing to push it.

    Now, I'm not saying she's NOT interested. I can't know that. I will say, from what you've shared, that would be my personal guess. But, I can't really know that for sure. So, you will have to do what feels right for you. But, again, my personal advice would be that she probably isn't interested, so it would be best just to move on. You gave her your number. Again, I think the implication there is pretty obvious. So, if she's interested she'll call. If not, then her loss. No biggie. You'll find somebody else in time. Good luck to you either way.

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