What is my next step with this guy....

[Jenn2]

So... what is the next step after hooking up with someone? I met a guy a while back and we hung out as a group. We had tons of fun so a week later I started asking around about him and what not. I actually added him on Insta and we started chatting. I messaged him to ask if he had found my credit card because I thought it fell out in his truck and he ended up giving me his number and we chatted. I ended up giving him my number and told him to contact me. He texted me one day and said he hoped I had a good day. That conversation carried on into the evening and he asked me what I was going to do. I told him I had plans to meet up with some friends for dinner and asked what he was up to. He said he thought about getting out and since I was, then he deff would. (Thought that was sweet.)
Us girls ended up at a bar and so I texted him to tell him and he invited us to meet up with him at a different club. We all hung out all night and had the best time ever. He started getting touchy/feely and I didn't stop it. We were a few drinks in and not causing any harm! Well... he offered to take me home because we are somewhat neighbors so I went with him. I didn't have any intention in my mind to go home with him like that but I did.... He offered to take me to my house a million times but we ended up at his place. I felt like we had chemistry and we had fun. We talked and laughed all night long and had a good time. It wasn't like a "hit it and quit it" type thing to me? I haven't had many sexual partners but it deff wasn't like one I've experienced before. After my long term boyfriend years ago I met a guy who became more of a friends with benefits and that was wayyy different. We would have fun and go our separate ways right after. But this time with this guy.. it didn't feel that way. He told me he wanted me to stay the night. We cuddled and laughed the night away. He mentioned taking me to dinner some time. We are both older and the bar scene isn't really for us. We talked about family and our pasts. I am 30 and he is early 30's. I am not the type of girl to just go home with a guy even though it seems like it. That's just not me. I am not confident enough and I am really shy plus that just isn't something I want. I just hope I didn't jump the gun. No I don't want to marry this guy.. I am a girl who prefers to be single VS being with someone just to have someone. I am the type of girl if it happens, it happens! I am not looking for anything. But like I said at the beginning... I felt like I could be interested in this guy thats why I started asking about him... have I blown it now? What is the next step? I really don't feel that it is my move to text him? When he dropped me off in the morning I told him to have a good day and he smiled. We laughed about how terrible work was going to be because we both had to be there within the hour. I told him to holler at me later and he said absolutely and smiled.
Any advice?

[GLYC]

You're over thinking things. This is how it's supposed to work. You connect well, and things just naturally lead from one thing to another.

I don't see how you could have blown it. Just because you had sex with him early doesn't really mean you blew it. It sounds like you both connected well.

Course, yeah some certain guys lose their luster/a little bit of respect after a woman early on when they have sex, but I really think in those cases, things probably wouldn't have worked out anyways, there's more to it than that. A big part of it is being around somewhere that you're attracted to and enjoy being around.

I would just wait a while for him to contact you. Then he will probably plan some fun activities for you to do, and the process just keeps repeating.

[Jenn2]

Should I add him on Snap Chat? Is it the guys turn to text after a hook up?

[GLYC]

If I was in his position, I would text you. I probably would have texted you within a day or two, just so you didn't think it was a "hit it and quit it" sort of thing, plus, all women need to feel special after things like this, which he did do by having fun and laughter with you following things that night. He sounds like a pretty good guy to be honest.

I'm sure he will hit you up and seal up those dinner plans at some point in the near future.

But hey, just go with things. If you like the guy and he hasn't reached out, reach out. If you want to add him on Snapchat, do it.

Also laughed at this sentence.
"I am not the type of girl to just go home with a guy even though it seems like it. That's just not me"
Every woman says this, it's okay for women to enjoy sex and live in the moment. But I know how much women are worried about being labeled a slut or whatever.

[Jenn2]

I know.. I feel like he should of texted too and that makes me feel like a piece of meat. He is also going through a break up... he has baggage. Shortly after all of this he left for a guys trip so I honestly didn't expect to hear from him. It just makes me so mad because he is a guy that I would of loved to get of gotten to know and I am afraid I screwed it all up. I don't drink much anymore and never go out and the ONE time..... I only say that because I am VERY different from my friends. They go home with a different guy every night and say they are living it up but that isn't me. I just don't do that! We had been talking during the day before everything and I guess it felt good to be wanted so I went with it....

- - - Updated - - -

I am totally prepared to not hear from him.. thats just me. I don't have much self esteem and it sucks. I would love it so much if I did hear from him so in the future we could all maybe hang out and it not be weird I just hope he isn't NOT texting me because of something I did or said. Like I said... we've had fun together and texted a little bit. It wasn't like I met him that night and got in the car with him and went home. I also feel like if he just wanted a piece of ass he would of just went out that night and looked for someone? He didn't need to text me and "butter" me up.

[GLYC]

Hey, he's going through a breakup so make sure to just be on your guard. I find that in those cases, people return to their ex's frequently from the strong emotional bonds they share. So be aware that that's a possibility. It's hard to beat that if they're still hung up, no matter how great of chemistry or how great of a time you have, they can come running back to that person after a single "I miss you" text. It's tough, especially when you just want to see where things will go with them.

You didn't screw anything up. Youre not a piece of meat. You did everything fine, you lived in the moment and just had a fun night out with him. I mean, even if you didn't hear back from him, sometimes you need to just live in the momemt. People come and go. You just learn to enjoy the time you have together with that person for what it is. Certain people aren't meant to be in your life forever, or for very long. It happens.

I've been there before. And I look back at those moments and just see it for what it was. I think, "God, that woman was awesome, we had great chemistry and a wonderful time. It's a shame it ended, but it was a fun night out". I've had that happen where I feel like I never did anything wrong, I never thought that would be the last time I would see them, but that's what happened. But there's so many factors going on with things that unless someone is very upfront, you never really know what's going on in their lives. There could be other people involved.

[Jenn2]

Actually a divorce.... I know I know..... but it was a long time coming. It's definitely over. I just feel awful... I wish I wouldn't of done it. I hate feeling this way!

[Jenn2]

I just feel that I might of gotten "sloppy" and that isn't me usually. We all were having so much fun and the shots started flowing and bam... it happened. That isn't me... I don't drink much anymore. I was out with my best friends and it just happened bc we were having so much fun. What am I supposed to do if I see him out? A part of me wants him to know that I had a blast but that isn't me and I'm afraid I didn't make a good first impression. Whether we are just friends in the future or not.

[GLYC]

Hey Jenn, you put yourself out there, part of making great relationships is giving. Sometimes people won't return the effort and as a result, you have to give them the gift of missing you. I dont think you acted sloppy based on how you were describing things.

You can always reach out to him as well (it sounds like you don't want to though since you told him to call you). If you see him out, just act indifferent treat him nicely and keep moving. There's a chance he will reach out to you again, and like i said, it sounds like there's a lot going on in his life right now, but I can't say that I know all of the answers about his reasons.

You'll either get him or someone better.