Any chance of getting ex girlfriend back?

[mrman98271]

My ex girlfriend just broke up with me a few days ago before she left for college. I'm a college sophomore, she's going to be a freshman and we go to schools in different states. We had already done long distance for one year. We were both each other’s partner and had a true deep love. However, Our relationship had kind of come to a point where we were both stagnant. No real personal growth occurred and we began to resent each other for it. We became co-dependent for happiness and it became somewhat unhealthy. However when she ended it she said it was over “for now”. We had been together almost two years, but the last few months had been harder than before.

Anyways, I’ve gotten past the initial point of despair, and I’m beginning to make my peace with it. Problem is, I still really love this girl and think we should be together. We agreed to no contact, for the time being, and didn’t give and end date to it. One of our mutual friends said that she’s kind of upset, and still loves me, but thought we couldn’t do the relationship for now as things had come to a bad point. She said she hopes I can find happiness outside of her and can make peace with her decision. She’s enjoying her college life from what I’ve been told, and she already had drunk rebound sex with someone else. I am not mad about this as she’s single, but that obviously hurt a little bit. Despite this I think I still want her down the line.

As of now I’m just going to enjoy the single life and focus on myself. I have a lot of personal things I think I need to improve, want to hit the gym, meet new people and see what happens. I got to thinking though, and realized I’m probably never going to stop loving this girl. We were together almost two years and best friends almost three.

My question is, when we both come home for thanksgiving break, and I still have feelings for her, would it be a good idea to reach out and ask if she’d like to get dinner or something? My idea was that if I still feel the sparks and love for her, that I could see if she’d be interested in getting back together. I don’t really have the desire to be friends, but would respect her decision and be okay if she didn’t want to

Any thoughts on this? Obviously need to try and move on and improve myself, but do you think I could get her back?

[madotnw_nihs]

I totally think you should reach out and see if you two can meet during TG. I am not saying you can get her back, but at least see if she feels the same way. I was in a similar situation back when I was in College with a long D. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I was more persistent.

[mrman98271]

I totally think you should reach out and see if you two can meet during TG. I am not saying you can get her back, but at least see if she feels the same way. I was in a similar situation back when I was in College with a long D. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I was more persistent.

So wait until November to reach out?

[madotnw_nihs]

Well, I think you should reach out before TG so she has time to decide whether to meet or not. You don't want to spring this on her the last minute and not get the chance.

[mrman98271]

Yeah i was thinking like the week before we're scheduled to come home. Hit her with a "Hey I get home on (whatever day) would you want to meet up for a coffee? Would love to catch up"

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Well, I think you should reach out before TG so she has time to decide whether to meet or not. You don't want to spring this on her the last minute and not get the chance.

Yeah i was thinking like the week before we're scheduled to come home. Hit her with a "Hey I get home on (whatever day) would you want to meet up for a coffee? Would love to catch up"

[nerdy_guy]

Both of you are kids, be careful. She might go for some more "drunk rebound sex". Unfortunately, you wouldn't know these in the future especially if she gets confronted with it. You know why people say nice guys finish last? because, you get the girl in the END... you don't get the girl FIRST. get it? what is wrong with relying on each other to be happy? shouldn't it be the case? is being happy sleeping with a lot of men/women? i don't exactly understand what is wrong. personal growth? like what? drunken sex? i think she ended it because she wants to see if there is someone better than you... that is what you call trading up

[Snow White]

Although it can be scary and there is always the chance of rejection, I think you have nothing to lose by reaching out and asking if she would like to get together. It sounds like, though, she wants to spread her wings. She should be enjoying her college life as should you.
She had "drunken rebound sex" and you're not mad about that? I know I would be upset. Being drunk makes you do things you want to do easier than if you weren't.

You WILL stop loving this girl and as you mature, you will realize that 2 years really isn't much, not that I am trying to downplay your feelings.

Whether you realize it or not, you are in a wonderful, adventurous time of your life. You will meet many interesting women and you needn't be in a hurry to settle down. If it feels stagnant or unhealthy or there are feelings of resentfulness, it's not for you. When you find the "right one", you will know it.

Enjoy your life. Avoid drama at all costs.