Do you think I have a chance to get my girlfriend back?

[BillsterMan]

I think I have an unusual situation here...

I met my girlfriend three years ago and was living with her for 2 years and we split up almost two months ago. She is from South America and I'm from the USA. I only mention that because I think I might be dealing with some cultural issues here.

I didn't want to split up with her and she didn't want to split up with me. We were both passionately in love with each other the day I moved out and of course I still love her. I moved out because of her hideous 17 year old son that did things like flip me off and call his mom a "f-ing b" etc. He was this way because his mom enabled him to be this way by not making him accountable for his actions. The kid has been involved in stealing from Walmart, selling weed out of the house, selling stolen bottles of booze out of the house, selling stolen t-shirst out of the house, etc. The disrespect issue wasn't just with me and his mother but was with his teachers, coaches and finally resulted in him being expelled from high school. All this stuff went on way before I showed up and after 1.5 years I couldn't take the constant stress and disrespect anymore and hated to see his mom treated that way and thats why I moved out. Please understand that I'm not a newbie to parenting having raised my own two boys who are now older and on their own.

My hope was to move out but remain a loving couple and then when her 17 and 19 year old kids were on their own then we could live together again. I thought it was a reasonable plan but she made it very clear that if I moved out that the relationship would be over. She felt that me living somewhere else would be like us being "F buddies" and she didn't want that. Except for some angry emails from her at the beginning of the breakup I haven't contacted her in two weeks and there was very little contact prior to that. She is angry because she feels that I "abandoned" her even though I gave her enough money to pay all the household bills for two months and made my intentions very clear that I didn't want to break up with her. She is also mad at me because she feels that I have rejected her kids but the thing is that when her kids were cool and "normal" then I was cool with them.

My track record with her since I've known her (3 years) was that I have been completely devoted to her and have cared for her in every way I possibly could and she was the same towards me too. I don't deal with fantasy so I'm not just saying that either. Our breakup was NOT because we didn't get along or because we didn't love each other and not because the relationship had gone stale. Quite the contrary because after three years we were both as passionately in love with each other as we were at the beginning of our relationship. I don't for one second regret moving out of there because I never want to live with her and her kids again. However, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't mind being at her house and staying over for weekends but I can not and will not ever get involved with "parenting" her kids again because of the way she undermines me when I would attempt to make her son accountable for his actions.

The bottom line is that I would still like us to be a couple again. Do you think that is possible?

Thank you very much. :-)

[asatkuna]

First off, I want to commend you on being such an admirable man. You are by far one of the most genuine guy that I could stumble upon. In my honest opinion, from what I've read, (and I know it's your side of the story), I really feel like her family is losing such a great addition. I want to honestly tell you to just move on but actually I feel like that would be unfair to you because you are genuinely deeply in love with that woman. I can recommend some advice to you. You can visit my website and hit me up an e-mail in my contact page so I could e-mail you a link to a great e-book on getting your EX back. I don't have any posts on my website that directly relate to your issue but I think the e-book that I could link you would be of great use to you.

Secondly, I want you to continue to talk to her and attempt to actually reach out and connect with her children. Her children are clearly a great part of her life and if you could connect with them, then you could easily connect with her. Under all the *BS* the real truth is you care about her, a lot, but you have to care about the things she cares about to REALLY care about her. Try it and hopefully it works out for the best.

You're really a great guy and I'm sure any women would be happy to have you. Don't sell yourself short bud. Keep your head up, there are not many men out there like you.

Hope that helped.

Cheers,

Aynka

[BillsterMan]

Yes it is my side of the story (and believe me its only a small part of the story) but I have no reason to embellish what has taken place so choose to only speak the truth.

I think they are losing a "great addition" as you said because since I worked from home I was there to keep the house tidy, make the bulk of the dinners and even make her lunch each morning and of course keep an eye on her son. I can't imagine what is going on there now.

We haven't spoken to each other since the night before I left and that was two months ago. Just a handful of texts and a few emails dealing with mundane matters like transferring bills into her name and three angry emails from her that were so completely delusional and off-base as far as the truth of the situation that I didn't even reply to the last one a month ago.

Her son texted me a few times after the first week and then went dark. I can only assume that the anger his mother felt caused him to stop. Both he and his sister were on my facebook account but I just blocked them a few days ago because I think his mom might be checking up on me through their fb accounts. I'm thinking that based on some very weird things she said recently on fb that were obviously a swipe at me. I blocked her from my fb account within three days after moving out because it was too painful to see her there.

I do "care about the things she cares about" as you said and my track record for the three years I knew her are a testament to that so I don't know what kind of "caring" I can do at this point. I mean I can "care" over here but what is the point when we aren't speaking to each other?

I'm not "selling myself short" (as you said) and without a hint of ego or boasting, I know I'm a "great guy" too. However, it is still sad to see something fall apart when I know throughout that I did the right thing with her and her son.

My business is internet marketing, so is the link you want to share with me an affiliate link to one of those "get your ex back" ebooks on Clickbank?

Thanks

First off, I want to commend you on being such an admirable man. You are by far one of the most genuine guy that I could stumble upon. In my honest opinion, from what I've read, (and I know it's your side of the story), I really feel like her family is losing such a great addition. I want to honestly tell you to just move on but actually I feel like that would be unfair to you because you are genuinely deeply in love with that woman. I can recommend some advice to you. You can visit my website and hit me up an e-mail in my contact page so I could e-mail you a link to a great e-book on getting your EX back. I don't have any posts on my website that directly relate to your issue but I think the e-book that I could link you would be of great use to you.

Secondly, I want you to continue to talk to her and attempt to actually reach out and connect with her children. Her children are clearly a great part of her life and if you could connect with them, then you could easily connect with her. Under all the *BS* the real truth is you care about her, a lot, but you have to care about the things she cares about to REALLY care about her. Try it and hopefully it works out for the best.

You're really a great guy and I'm sure any women would be happy to have you. Don't sell yourself short bud. Keep your head up, there are not many men out there like you.

Hope that helped.

Cheers,

Aynka