Hi to everyone, especially to the women here whose help I desperately need
First of all, I'm German, so English is not my native language and I hope you'll forgive me possible mistakes
Secondly, I post in an American forum because my girlfriend is American, born and raised, so I'd rather like to hear your opinions about my problem in case there's just a cultural difference that I'm not aware of, but that led to the fight my girlfriend and I had just yesterday.
So, my girlfriend is doing a business trip right now. She works for a big company that doesn't mind to spend some money for the comfort of their employees, so she ended up flying first class yesterday, meaning she was surrounded mostly by other business people and rather wealthy folks. Some of those guys got her a necklace, watch, bracelet and earrings worth around 600US$ (anonymously). I personally think it's an inappropriate gift from an unknown man or even unknown person in general, no matter if she was single or not. If she'd be single, to me such an expensive gift would seem like this guy is trying to buy his way into her pants and/or impress her with expensive glitter. Since she is not single, this gift might be an attempt to show her that he might be able to offer her more than I can. No matter how I slice it, I think it's an inelegant and inappropriate present to a single woman or to a woman that might have a boyfriend or be even married. If I would get such a present by some rich cougar, single or not, I would always politely refuse it. In the former case to show that I don't accept presents from people who think I'm cheap and easy to impress, in the latter case to emphasize that I don't accept that kind of presents by anyone else than my girlfriend.
That being said, back to what actually happened.
She got the present, sent me a picture of it (she had wifi during the flight) and asked me about my opinion and whether she should keep the jewelry or not. I told her that I would not accept it, and I also explained her why. She obviously liked the stuff and wanted to keep it, so she told me that this happened to her a few times before (she's flying first class with the company all the time and she's really beautiful, has even been a runway model in NY for several years, so she really is an eye-catcher). She told me she usually would send the gift back, knowing that the rich guy will insist and want her to keep it anyway, and thus she would be able to keep it with no strings attached. I replied that to me it looks like these guys are playing a game. If she ends up accepting the present eventually, those guys kind of get what they want. They know that the woman liked their present enough to keep it, even if a part of them didn't want to accept it for various reasons. Maybe it's even a laugh for them to know that a maybe existing boyfriend will have to see their girlfriend wear another man's present.
She didn't take it very well and said she would think it's flattering, very kind and generous to send her such a present, from a man that obviously was so impressed by her beauty that he would spend 600$ on her as an attempt to talk to her. I told her that to me it's a cheap way to impress someone with money and that I wouldn't accept it no matter what if I were her. I also told her (and I mean it) that I wouldn't mind at all if some guy would sit down next to her, talk to her, invite her to a drink and try to flirt with her. But she kept twisting my words, or maybe she really didn't get my point, but she became angry, started to mock me because "I'm such a good and way better person than her", accused me of calling her cheap and forcing her to sent the present back... No matter what I said she would insist that it's all about me being jealous of another guy, which is not the case. I'm not rich, but I definitely make a very good living and don't need to hide. I just wanted her to understand my point of view and why I think it's not OK to accept these kind of presents. I also told her that this was only my advice (that she asked for!), but that it's all up to her and that even if I'd be not happy with her accepting the present, I would get over it. But she told me she would get rid of it, even throw it away if necessery.
Today I saw that she posted a video on facebook first thing in the morning. It shows her wearing one of her business suits and all the above mentioned jewelry and the watch, zooming in on the details of the necklace and posing with the watch and bracelet with a (maybe I'm just being paranoid now...) mocking smile. Subtitles say "SO glad I decided to buy this awesome jewelry after all."
I didn't confront her yet, and honestly I don't know if I should cause I really don't know if all this shit is just a cultural misunderstanding. Maybe my point of view is just a European thing and an American boyfriend wouldn't give a shit. But I think she could've at least spared me the video... She know's that I like to check her facebook page when she's on business trips so I feel at least a little closer, that's why I'm kind of sure she did it on purpose to hurt me...
And just as I write these lines I see that she deleted the post or at least blocked it for me, so she maybe realized herself that this was unnecessary bullshit from her side... I don't know.
Sorry for the long text, but I really would like to know your honest opinions. What did I do wrong? What could I have done better or in a more sensitive manner? What about accepting presents from other dudes, is that OK in the states?
Thank you very much in advance!