So I recently left my child's father for the third time. I've posted a couple of other times about it. It has been rocky to say the least. It was emotionally abusive at points. He did have an affair early on. We have a 3.5 year old child. I'm having difficulty coming to terms with sharing him, even though I have him 70% of the time, I miss him so much when he's with his dad that I usually just cry myself to sleep. I'm trying to remember that he needs time with his father too. I feel so guilty for leaving and his father has been non-stop texting me saying all of these things he will do to fix our relationship and that he's willing to change anything. I don't have the feelings that I'm in love with him anymore. I don't feel attracted to him. I just feel nothing. But I can't stand sharing my son, but I also can't stand taking him away from his father. I'm wondering if these feelings of guilt go away? Or if I should just suck it up and force myself to go back a fourth time. I'm just so lost. His mother texted me and told me that my son asked her why mommy doesn't come see him at his house anymore. We're living at my brothers for the time being til I know what my next step is. I feel like he thinks I've abandoned him even though I have him more. I just hate this guilty feeling inside of me. I don't know if I can ever adjust to losing this time with him. Any guidance or thoughts would be appreciated