uncaring girlfriend when i’m sick

[Alopolo]

My girlfriend is very loving and affectionate in general but she always avoids anything that involves effort. For example she never drives, washes dishes or carries groceries. I do all of these plus bunch of other work that requires slightest efforts. However we have a very secure relationship and we have a lot of fun in general. Only issue is when i’m sick, she doesn’t really do anything about it and leaves me be. She asks how I am doing and gives suggestions but otherwise goes about her usual business and last night, she went out with her friends and made me feel abandoned for some reason when i was sick in bed with fever. Is this normal and if not how do I go about with resolving it without making her feel guilty? thanks.

[TheEvilJester]

To me personally "normal" is a bad word. It is not a word in which I tend to hold much stock. What is normal to one person may be strange to another. Whether it is "normal" honestly doesn't matter. If it bothers you, it bothers you. Not being closer to the situation, it is a little hard for me to comment.

On the surface, I'm actually somewhat of two minds on this one. One the one hand.... do you expect her life to halt simply because you are sick? Do you expect her to nurse you/take care of you? Heck, if for no other reason than to avoid you possibly getting her sick, it probably makes sense she just goes about her own business. However, on the other hand, I do agree that I'd at least want my significant other to act like she cared I was sick. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't, but it sounds to me like you felt like she didn't care.

To be honest, I think just based on that I'd probably suggest it isn't that big a deal. But, again, that's me. Maybe to you it is. HOWEVER.... whether I think this one thing in and of itself is not that big a deal... it doesn't change the fact that it could be a symptom of deeper/worse problems. So, to me, I think that would more be the important thing. Does she otherwise make you feel like she cares? Does she often give you reasons to doubt/feel like she doesn't care as much as she should, or did she maybe just not handle this particular scenario in the one you may have liked?

Based on the fact that you shared the fact that she rarely ever seems to lift a finger to help, I'd guess maybe there is more to this than just her not seeming to care you were sick. So, if you feel like she just isn't caring enough in general, THAT certainly could be a reason to decide she's not right for you. I could understand that myself. I don't honestly like being fussed over, so I wouldn't want somebody actively taking care of me while I'm not feeling well, but I would at least want to feel like she cared. Like she'd WANT to help.

I hope that helped you even if just a little bit. But, this is one of those cases where I think there is more to it than just this one instance. So, really, you'd be the better judge of whether or not this is just one little minor issue or a sign of deeper problems. Good luck to you either way.

[Hooo!]

So you have 3 options
Deal with it
Talk to her about changing it
Or leave her