Can I make it work after 10 years?

[Hooo!]

Let’s reforge that into another way:
What do you do if you want to spend more time with your family?

What do you like about her? What do you like about yourself?

[euclid]

I actually think you are guys may be soulmates.

Me too. And I never used to believe in soulmates.

[euclid]

What do you do if you want to spend more time with your family?

I would prefer not to talk about my family, as it's a bit complicated.

What do you like about her?

Literally everything she has ever said or done. Her mind works in wonderful ways. Almost everyone in the world irritates me, but she seems to find a perfect balance with everything.

What do you like about yourself?

Relatively little.

[Hooo!]

Let us assume you want to spend more time with your friends then
...

And if you don’t like yourself then how could you be different so that you would likeyourself more

I would like to add that if you like everything she’s ever done and the flowery smell of her farts included
Then you are deluding yourself
You are not seeing the person she is, but the person you fantazise her to be

[euclid]

Let us assume you want to spend more time with your friends then

Then I make plans to do something together. It's the same with this girl, only a bit easier because she at least lives in Europe (all of my 3 best friends live outside Europe now). However, I don't just want to be friends with her. We've been friends for many years, but I want it to become something more.

And if you don’t like yourself then how could you be different so that you would likeyourself more

There is no doubt that this is important. There are many ways I need to improve. However, I feel this is going off topic a bit.

I would like to add that if you like everything she’s ever done and the flowery smell of her farts included
Then you are deluding yourself
You are not seeing the person she is, but the person you fantazise her to be

I know it sounds insane.

[Hooo!]

No. It is essential.
If you see no reason for her to be with you, if you don’t believe that she has a good match with you then even if you would be together you might act insecure and might expect her to be with someone „better“

If you don’t seduce her physically and mentally as well as emotionally hoedown you expect things to change?

Also your being delusional and viewing her as the perfect woman doesn’t help.

[euclid]

No. It is essential.
If you see no reason for her to be with you, if you don’t believe that she has a good match with you then even if you would be together you might act insecure and might expect her to be with someone „better“

You are absolutely right. However, I'm 32 and I have low self-esteem. At some point, I just have to try my best and hope for something good to happen.

If you don’t seduce her physically and mentally as well as emotionally hoedown you expect things to change?

I am about the least seductive person you could ever meet, so I don't have many options here. Again, at some point I think I just have to make the best of what I have and try my best.

Also your being delusional and viewing her as the perfect woman doesn’t help.

Thanks for the advice.

[Hooo!]

Google inner game
Work on your attitude
The number of limiting beliefs in your posts is too damn high

[euclid]

Google inner game

This looks like a lot of other dubious information that can be found on the internet. Could you explain why this one is better? And how it will help me to make things work with this girl?

Work on your attitude

Always.

[Brokenheart9989]

The most valuable thing we have to offer is our time. So if shes giving you her time to talk (whether it be via text/chat/emails/phone calls) and willing to meet up with you chances are that she is interested. The fact that its been 10 years is sort of irrelevant at this point. You have a history with her. Dont play games. Just be honest. End of the day she knows if she is interested in you or not. Might as well be upfront. And hey if it doesnt work out its not really the end of the world. Plenty of fish in the sea - even if you only want this one fish right now lol. I think most women also admire confidence.

[euclid]

The most valuable thing we have to offer is our time.

She flew over to see me at the weekend. We talked and agreed we'd both like to give it a go. She doesn't know it yet, but I'm flying over to see her this weekend. The weekend after that, she's visiting a friend in another country, but we've arranged to take weekend trips together in Europe for the two weekends after that.

I guess we'll try to get by with weekends for now (and electronic communication in between). We'll take a longer holiday together in September, but if everything keeps going so well, I'll move to her country in the not too distant future. She lives in a capital city and there are really good job opportunities for me there.

Fingers crossed it all goes to plan

[Hooo!]

I could.
But I told you to google it because
1) there are good explanations out there and
2) im lazy and writing on phone

Also if you don’t get the results you want it is rather obvious that you need to get information that seems unusual to you

Here is the short explanation or presumptions:
1 you can learn what to do to attract women.
2 It is a skillset
3 your actions are based on your attitudes/beliefs which are based on experiences
4 you can change actions or attitudes or reframe experiences
5 your beliefs can also hinder you getting the results you want (limiting beliefs)

Inner Game is the concept of the pick up community on how your beliefs and attitudes should be in order to attract women.

[pcmaster]

Its nice to see that with some encouragment you was able to kick it off. You just needed a little more believing in yourself. From fearful mindest you shifted to a positive mindset that comes from place of love.

[PRW]

1. I met the girl of my dreams.
2. - this girl was perfect.
3. my feelings for her haven't changed at all.
4. I am absolutely crazy about this girl.
5. How do I win her over after all these years?
6. Do I have any chance at all?
7. could make things work out in the long run with her.

These things are going to get in the way. This needs to be flipped the other way, these comments should be coming from her. Sorry for the over-used cliche adjectives but these comments make you sound needy, clingy, desperate, infatuated, and in a fearful scarcity mindset. In addition it looks like you are putting her on a pedestal. In the end these things will not draw her closer. At minimum they will cause her to take you for granted as someone who will "always be there" so there is no sense of urgency on her part and she can play the field for a while and come back to you if nothing else works out. In the worse case scenario they will just scare her away.

You need to be the guy that she comes to because she wants to. She needs to see you as "The Catch" (not her being The Catch). She needs to feel that she might lose you if she doesn't act. You need to be the leader and the "rock" that she wants to lean on,...and the man she wants to follow (not be followed by him).

- - - Updated - - -

She doesn't know it yet, but I'm flying over to see her this weekend.

This is not good. She will not be impressed in the way you hope. That will be seen by her as "Stalker-Lite" behavor. Instead, offer this to her as something you want to do and gauge her reaction. If she likes it, then YOU make the plans,...don't just ask her what "she" wants to do. You're to be the leader, she is to be the follower.

The weekend after that, she's visiting a friend in another country

If you do the "surprise trip" as you described instead of what I described,...she will seem distant and less enthusiastic after she comes back from visiting the friend. In a worst case she will ghost you. But if you approach the trip as I suggested you might be able to save it.

, but we've arranged to take weekend trips together in Europe for the two weekends after that.

Way too much too soon.

I guess we'll try to get by with weekends for now (and electronic communication in between).

Keep the electronic communication to a minimum. The "once a week" dates on the weeks is perfect for this early part. Calling/Texting should be minimal, maybe only twice during the week. If you lived closer I would say only once a week about mid-week.

I'll move to her country in the not too distant future

That would be you following her,...not her following you. It would be different if you were engaged to be married or if you had a valid reason to move to her country even if she wasn't there.

Fingers crossed it all goes to plan

There isn't supposed to be "a plan". It is supposed to be hang out, have fun, enjoy. The labels, the relationship, the "plan" are all "feminine energy" things that she is supposed to be worried about,...not you.

[euclid]

1 you can learn what to do to attract women.
2 It is a skillset
3 your actions are based on your attitudes/beliefs which are based on experiences
4 you can change actions or attitudes or reframe experiences
5 your beliefs can also hinder you getting the results you want (limiting beliefs)

I'm pretty familiar with these concepts. I don't generally have difficulty attracting women. I'm tall, I play sports and I have a world-class education; these things alone give you a decent head-start, even if you don't know the first thing about seduction. The bigger problem for me is that I really don't feel attracted to most women. I guess I'm picky, but if she's not highly intelligent, adventurous, well-travelled, multilingual and funny, then I'm very unlikely to be interested. My purpose for writing here was to get advice on how to improve my chances with this girl, not girls in general. I am familiar with getting new girls I meet to be attracted to me, but my current situation feels very different and unfamiliar.