So I was with this girl for over three years. We lived together for two and a half. I’m 25, she’s 23. We talked pretty seriously about marriage about one year into the relationship. I gave her a promise ring around the one year mark. I can honestly say that our relationship seemed better than any relationship I’ve been in and healthier than any of our friends’. We very rarely fought, in fact we never did. A couple small arguments about stupid things, but we’d always get over it rather fast. We spent pretty much every waking moment together that we possibly could. I had no question that she loved me as much as I loved her.
Anyway, we graduated from college in 2004. I immediately found a job in my field, a career-type job. She wasn’t so lucky. She had to settle for a job in retail. She pretty much hated her job so about five months ago I told her to quit if she wanted and I’d pick up all the bills. I told her that she should find something she likes even if it doesn’t pay, and not to worry about money. She agreed and quit her job. She decided to take a vaction to visit her parents in Arizona before finding a new job. The day before she left she asked if I could help her make a resume so that her parents could proof read it. So I did. I jokingly said “are you looking for a job in AZ?”. She laughed and said of course not, she wants to really get after it went she gets back home (Colorado). Later on that night I heard her talking to a friend who asked her if she got an engagement ring yet. She seemed kind of bummed when she said “not yet”. I had no clue that it was a really pressing issue because we evidently had poor communication in that department. I later found out from a friend that my girlfriend was upset when I bought a car a few months earlier before buying her a ring. So anyway, I drove her to the airport and started dropping pretty large hints as to what she wanted in a ring, etc. so that I could buy it while she was out of town. She bit, and I had all the info I needed. While she was on vacation we talked every day (for two weeks), sometimes up to two to three hours a day. She definitely missed me. I missed her and it seemed like we were both really excited for her to get home.
So here’s where the story picks up. She got home from Arizona, and the next morning I proposed. She said yes. Everything seemed great. We told all our friends and relatives. Well, three days later I get home from work and she seems really nervous. I asked her what’s wrong, if it has to do with the ring. She said “I love the ring, but I think I’m moving to Phoenix”. I was obviously incredibly confused. I asked when she was moving. She said next week. I tried to get her to tell me what was going on but all she’d say is “someday you’ll understand”. Wouldn’t give me ANY details. I asked if she had a job lined up and she said no. So, I’m completely wrecked because I have no clue what’s going on, so I leave town. I figure I’ll let her figure out what’s going on and maybe she’ll be able to talk. Well, she ended up leaving the next day. She took all the stuff that was of use to her and left me with a house full of leftover junk. I tried calling her, she wouldn’t talk. I got a hold of her friend and found out that she found a really good job while she was on “vacation”. She couldn’t even tell me that. So about two weeks later I leave a message saying “I know you have a job, I’m not mad, can we please talk”. So she finally does call back and we talked a few times. Things seem pretty good so I ask if I move down there can we work it out. She said “yes, it’s possible. If that’s what you think you should do, do it”. So just like that I quit my job, packed up the rest of the house, found a place to live in AZ and gave her a call. She was pissed. I asked if she’d even see me if I moved and she said “I don’t know”. I asked why she said it would work before. “I don’t know”. I asked what happened. “I don’t know”. That was the answer to everything. Eventually she hung up. A couple weeks later she finally answered the phone again and we talked for about a half hour, pleasant conversation as usual. I asked if it’s ok if I come see her the next weekend. She said that’d be ok. So I was quite happy about that and if nothing else I was going to maybe get closure . So the day before I was set to leave I check my email and she wrote saying “I’m not ready to see you yet”. About a month later I left a message saying I’m going to be in Phoenix next weekend and I hope she can meet me for an hour or so. I check my email and she wrote “I’ve moved on. You need to move on. I have a boyfriend. Don’t contact me.” So that’s the last I’ve heard from her. I know for a fact that this guy wasn’t around while we were together. I’m still incredibly hurt that after 3 years she didn’t have the decency to tell me why she gave up on our relationship, apologize for lying, or even wish me luck. I love this girl more than anything in the world and don’t know how to handle this. Everyone says it gets better every day, but it seems like I’m stuck in a hole.
I know I need to move on (it's been four months since I've seen her) and I’m being a pussy about this, but I just can’t imagine what happened. Obviously her feelings changed, but why couldn’t she even tell me that? The last time I saw her (the day before she left) she still had her engagement ring on, was kissing me, crying, saying she loved me and that we’d talk when she wasn’t so emotional. That talk never came and I don’t know how to move on without knowing what happened. So yeah, that’s the story in a nutshell. I don’t expect pity. I know I need to move on and that’s about all I can do, but it might help to tell a bunch of random people on the internet