We had the talk. I confronted him about the lies. He admitted to them. I told him exactly how I felt about everthing that had happened between us. He has moved out, of course.
Now what?
He admits he was wrong (an ******* that ****ed everything up) and says he knows that only time can regain my trust and begin to repair our relationship. He has asked me for that time.
I am so hurt. It's hard to be around him without either crying or being mad as hell. I look at him and see him as a liar and an ******* who has no respect for me, doesnt care at all about me, etc. It's maddening... because I care about him, and I guess I still want answers - as to WHY he would do all those things in the first place (which he has no answer for - yet).
I say that he obviously wasnt happy with me, or he wouldnt have done those things. He says he loves me more than anything, and he screwed up.
Should I try to date him? No more living togeter, obviously. But if there's SOMETHING there, should it at least have the chance to see if it can be salvaged... or is that just a ghost of what I felt before he crushed my heart into a million pieces?
I'm so confused.
After the "big confrontation" he asked me if he could still call me. I said yes, but only between certain hours (I hate being called at 1am when he is done with his friends or drinking - UGH). And I said no coming over without calling first, etc. Basic ground rules considering his total lack of respect for me and the fact that he doesnt recognize the simplest of decent boundaries.
I dont know if any of it can be "fixed". I dont know if time really lets you regain trust. I just dont know. I dont know that there's any hope at all for us. But then I guess I dont know that there isnt (as friends, exclusive lovers - to date happily).
My sister has been married 12 years. They went through a horrible time in the first couple of years (him with drugs and all that goes with that). They got past it together... and are still married. I look at that, and wonder if I am too quick to walk away? Or if I am fooling myself to think he will ever treat me right. Do I give him a 49th chance to try??