Direct Confrontation, a Wise Move?

[inCali]

Hi all, and thanks for taking time to read my little story.

Basically, I'm a college student with just 10 units left until graduation.
I've been going out with a fellow student a year younger than me for
about 2 years now, and we've lived together for almost a year now.

Our relationship had its own ugly moments, but for the most part
we were best buds and loved to enjoy spending time together, and still do.

But (yeah, the "but") there are things about us that I just feel anxious about.
In the past I've gone through many relationships and learned from them alot.
For my girlfriend, this is her FIRST relationship ever, not to mention its been
a pretty longterm one at that.

And she realizes (well, at least I hope she does) that she cares about me
more than I do for her. That doesnt mean I'm an apathetic jerk, I care for
her alot. I remember my very first relationship I was just like her, I cared
for a girl way too much.

I personally feel that I've been playing one role too many for her... a boyfriend and a mentor figure because I helped out alot with things that
her parents or family should've helped her with, but didn't. So with that in
mind, I'm a little worried that she hasn't "learned" enough about relationships
and guys.

(I'm going to get flamed for this part) I sometimes feel that it'd
benefit her to go out with other guys and see how much more of jerks and
selfish they are. I say this because when we argue or bicker, she'd say
hurtful things to me like comparing me to this one jerk that we both know
who abuses his girlfriend and manipulates people. And i feel that I don't
deserve that when we've gone through so much together and helped each
other overcome difficulties of life.

But now that I'm about to graduate and leave for the real world and find
a place to settle and look for a job, and she's got an year left, I've
been wanting to really sit down with her and talk to her about the situation.

I wanted to talk to her about our relationship, where it has been, where it
may be going. And if we can reconcile through our differences,
then we can stay together, and I'll be glad with that.

However, I'd also want a chance for her (and me) to meet other people
while we still have the opportunity to (college, what better place to meet
people your age?)

But I don't want this to backfire on me. I'm trying my best
out of my best intention for her to either decide to continue or end our relationship. I know first relationship breakups are the hardest, and I want the breakup to be as soft on her as possible if it comes down to that.

So I'd appreciate what you think of my situation, and I'd appreciate if you'd share your own experiences and advices on if I should approach her about this, or any other solutions. Thank you.

[TAVS]

Sounds to me like it's time to part. She's just going to have to deal. I have a feeling it's not going to last anyway given your apparent feelings or lack of

[shh!]

It sounds like you may have outgrown her, but have apprehension about leaving what is familiar. It does not make you "bad" if you simply have outgrown one another, but staying with her if you don't like her much isn't too nice because it prevents her from finding someone who really likes her as she is.

[Junket]

You got a good head on your shoulders buddy, from my end I have no advice or suggestions to give.

[bluesummer]

I think you should go out and date other people....but not with the intention of getting back together. You'll probably both find that when you meet someone else you'll forget about the whole idea of getting back together with the other person anyways. You're right, ending first relationships isn't easy, but the longer you drag it out, the harder it gets.