Advice about you "ex"

[Rosebud]

Don't make this harder on me than it already is = I love you very much even though we can't be together, and every time I see you it makes it worse.

For example let's say you split with Your SO because they don't want to ahve kids but you do. You still love them very much but you know you want differnet things..If your still around that person every day it won't make anything an easier for either of you!

[Nativeguy]

I think Rosebud has it exactly right. Anyways could it be that by doing everything else in life, all the everyday stuff, helps to distract you from constantly focusing on this other person?

Its hard, but its harder I think to still be around them. By not being around that other person, eventually the pain subsides which I don't think it will ever get a chance to do if you are still around that person.

[Rosebud]

Yes exactly Nativeguy! If your around the person you love all the time and you don't have time to focus on other things (to get your mind off) you can't heal properly. It makes things ten times worse, the pain lasts longer, and so do the feelings.

[MereSanam143]

What u guys r tryin to say is when a guy says "don't make this any harder then it already is for me" means that he loves you, but knows sooner or later if you stay together u all will break up, and the pain is going to be inevitable then, so might as well end it now, and let the healin process start now, right?

[Rosebud]

No. They say that term when after you have broken up or are in the middle of breaking up. They wouldn't say something like that just to say it... That doesn't maek any sense..why would someone break up with you because there's a chance you guys won't last in the future?

[ReneeA]

When I think of my ex and all the great times we shared as friends it burns. And when I think of the situation, it upsets me the most thinking about the conversations and the laughter and the time that I spent with him just chillin and doing nothing at all-way before we became more than friends. I wish I could just turn back the hands of time and still be able to talk to him cause we learned a lot from each other and our relationship was a productive one. WHen it ended I felt that I was losing my best friend and I did. (He broke it off with me) I could honestly say that if he didn't disrespect me when he broke it off then I would probably still be talking to him cause I can respect how he feels and as a friend, all i ever wanted was for him to be happy. I know I could call him anytime, but he wants nothing to do with me. I wondered why considering I didn't do anything to hurt him and I sure didn't change his mind about me, but I think that he feels guilty and bad about breaking my heart. I'm still angry with him for treating me like I was never there for him and meant nothing to him b/c he knows better than that. I would have to work on me and the way I feel before I would even consider talking to him again.

[MereSanam143]

I agree with wat everyone is sayin, and i kno how much it hurts to be standing right next to the guy that broke ur heart, the guy u love, but yet u cant say a word to him, for fear of saying something wrong. I tried everything to get my ex to see how much i love him, i tried talkin 2 him, i tried surprising him, everything i could possibly think of, but nothing worked. His mind was set on being away from me, and his mind, despite all my best effort, will remain that way. And now, becasue of eveything that happened, we no longer even friends. I havent talked to him 4 the past 2 weeks, and it kills me 2 not talk 2 him. But I know its what he wants, and its what I have to do. I know he loved me at one point or another in time, but I why that love dissapered, i'm stil tryin to figure out. I kno i will forever love him even if his holdin the hand of another; and thats the part that kills me, knowin i will forever love him. I miss him more than anything else. I'd give the universe just to be with him, I'd give the world, to see a smile on his face. Despit everythin that happened, if his ever in trouble, if he ever needs anything, he knows he can dial my number and know i'll answer.

[Hugo Pickle]

Yeah you see what I mean. When you break up with someone yeah it sucks, but you don’t have to do this childish “I never want to see you again crap” Firstly it is bullshit. You can’t really care about someone and them be like a damn 2 year old about ever seeing them again. The reason that people say they can’t be friends with their ex is because they are completely heart broken and still in love with someone who is moving on but they are not.

When someone breaks up with you it obviously hurts and you are not ready to jump into another relationship the next day. But you have to force yourself to get your self respect back. Be strong. Focus on you, do your goals, get your life back together. I’m not saying act like nothing ever happened with your ex, I mean that if you stick to you guns about things and have self respect then why could you never see an ex? Are you that weak that you will lose it every time you see them again? Why? I think it is because you haven’t moved on with your life. I feel that the reason you can’t see your ex is because you are still hung up over them. If you start dating other people and get your life back together then why would it bother you to see your ex? It wouldn’t.

Also i think many people will find that your ex wants to be friends with you more than you realize.