Need advice on a "friend with benefits" situation

[Crispy12]

Theres a girl I have a few classes with. She's about 4 years older than me and likes me a lot. She sort of hinted that she wanted me to hang out a few times and I tried to kindly show I wasn't interested just with body language and everything. She invited me to a party and got one of her friends who knew me to give her my screen name and IMed me to remind me. She was a cool girl and one of my friends, and I didn't want to be a dick so I went on over and had a few beers with her and her friends. She was drunk and kept mentioning that I was hot and she wanted to have sex with me, but I tried to politely dismiss it as crazy drunk college kid talk (she talked a lot about sex and stuff anyway). After a while she said "lets go to my room" and said "let's make out" and said she really wanted to go down on me. I thought about it for a second and told her only if she promised that it wouldn't be awkward and she wouldn't get attached, that we would just mess around and have fun. She said I wouldn't have to worry about anything, it wouldn't be awkward and she wouldn't get attached. So we fooled around for a while, and I spent the night. She was REALLY into it and really liked me. The next morning we talked for a little bit, and kind of agreed that we could be friends with benefits and fool around every now and then if no one got attached.

She has been with a lot of guys before, and seems pretty mature and down to earth. What should I do now? Will it be possible for us to keep this stuff up until I find another girl without hurting her feelings? If I should cut it off, what is a good way to do it without hurting her? My main goal here is not to hurt anyone's feelings, I have no problem doing this (while I don't have a girlfriend of course), but only if I'm not going to end up hurting her.

Thanks,
Crispy

[Sami09]

i guess its possible friends with benefits its forsure hard. i am saying that cause me and my ex is doing that. even though we dated for a while and both have feeling for each other it can forsure be fun too and its possible that we may get back together maybe. is there any reason you dont want a relationship?

[Crispy12]

I don't want a relationship because I'm just not attracted to her, emotionally or physically.

[DarkDwarf]

BACAMO with that BIATCH. You got laid right, and she promised, so its all good! If not, just remind her, then BACAMO.

[Crispy12]

yeah, but she wants to keep doing it. Should I just say no or would it be possible to keep it up until I find a girl friend?

[Indus18]

I do not understand how or why you'd be sexually involved w/ someone you're not at least physically attracted to. And if what you want to hear is "yeah it's possible she won't get attached so go ahead and bust a nut to your heart's content" then I'd gladly say that.

But the truth is, she'll get jealous if you find someone else, and it's not a good idea unless you're into drama. I for one, am not. Personally, I don't see why you have such a compulsion to get off that you'd lower your standards knowingly and undrunkenly, lol, but that's your prerogative...

[Crispy12]

It isn't that I'm that desperate to get off. I just didn't really care, she was damn near begging for it, and I guess I was nice to have that affection. I'm not looking for any answer, I just want advice. I'm pretty bad at guessing how girls will think. She's one of the most down to earth girls I've met and seemed pretty mature, which is why I even agreed to do it the first time. I knew it would've hurt her feelings if I was there and turned her down when she said "Let me go down on you, I REALLLLY want to go down on you". So it was a combination of me being drunk, me not caring that much in the first place, her seemingly being pretty down to earth and able to no get attached, and her wanting me THAT much. Anyway, just let me know what you think I should do. If you think I'm low for doing it, I'm sorry I was just trying to make her happy.

[Miss hotty]

Hay, Me and one of my mate's do the same. We call each other ****ing buddies lol we have been doing it on and off for 2 years now but we only do it if we are not in a relationship.

[BFTrick]

always nice to have someone there, keep it going, even if you only do it once in a blue moon.

[vashti]

Yuck. I hope you used condoms. I doubt you are the only guy she is doing this with, and she is probably a walking STD factory.

[Gigabitch]

I think you'll end up regretting it. She sounds unstable.

[Crispy12]

Yeah I think I've decided to change my mind and not keep doing it. What's a good way to tell her I don't want to do that any more? I don't want her freaking out or anything.

[bluesummer]

Just be up front and tell her you're not into it. If she has ANY scrap of dignity she'll leave you alone.....who wants to chase after someone that doesn't want them?

But, if she's a bad hint taker, just cut off contact with her. And tell her you're banging someone else.

[CAM]

Theres a girl I have a few classes with. She's about 4 years older than me and likes me a lot.

Four years older...hmm. My best guest here: She's a 21 or 22 year old teacher and you are a junior in high school, right? Buddy, I can read it like a book.

If you are ****ing the teacher, then she ain't your friend. She doesn't like you. She just getting laid dude. You are just easier than the effort it would take for her to turn the crank of an adult male....or buy batteries for her dildo.

A bit harsh...but your story sounds eerily similar to other abuse stories from the high school criminal log.

[vashti]

Crispy is a college student.