he dated my bestfriend????

[pinkpuca84]

i was just wondering...if i didnt do that stupid stuff (showing him my online diary) and revealed the whole thing, and waited for the right time, would it make any difference? but then...i dont know when the "right" time is....right? it may never comes...i regret ittt..Gosh...i'm really scared (too embarassed) of him now...i dont even dare to go online in msn...let alone talk to him....argghhh....i just made a BIG mistake, didnt i???? i shouldnt have done it !!! really shouldnt.....

[RogerWilco]

i was just wondering...if i didnt do that stupid stuff (showing him my online diary) and revealed the whole thing, and waited for the right time, would it make any difference? but then...i dont know when the "right" time is....right? it may never comes...i regret ittt..Gosh...i'm really scared (too embarassed) of him now...i dont even dare to go online in msn...let alone talk to him....argghhh....i just made a BIG mistake, didnt i???? i shouldnt have done it !!! really shouldnt.....

1. You're right, the "right" time might never come along. Most of the time it doesn't pop up spontaneously, you just have to MAKE it the right time.

2. That being said, whether or not "it" would make a difference depends almost solely on the manner in which you would've told him at the "right time." But this right time doesn't necessarily even exist. Refer to point 1.

3. You made him promise he wouldn't think of you differently or act differently or whatever, but you're doing just that; you're avoiding him and in the process making things unnecessarily more awkward by making it a big production.

4. I'd say it's too early to decide whether or not it was a "mistake."

5. You can't really take back what you did/said, so the best thing to do now might be to reconcile yourself with the fact that the information is out there, and he will respond to it how he ends up responding to it. That much is out of your hands.

6. Hopefully he will handle things well and everything will work out for the best. I genuinely hope for that for you. But remember, life isn't a fairytale, and sometimes these things DO turn sour . . .

[pinkpuca84]

thanks Roger well...i made up my mind today, not to avoid him again so i went online just now, and he called me! funny tho...there's no awkwardness like i thought. maybe i just went "ah WHO CARES!" and pretended that nothing ever happened...hope that what i just did would help him become my friend again. we only had a short chat...but it's enough...

yea...i feel really good now...i dont know what the future will bring, or what's gonna happen in our lives, but what i know now is...i've done my part. mm....actually....it was the best time, because apparently his mum is now recovered from cancer treatment!! (just got the news today, from him) she got back from hospital....i was soooo happy....well...at least i know he's happy too

in the mean time, i will concentrate on my study, do the things that i'm supposed to be doing...and keep on praying....if we're meant to be together, we'll be together eventually anyway...or if not, we'll still have each other as friends...and i'm sure my feeling would slowly fade away with time (i hope).

thank you so much guys...i hope all the very best in ur love lives too....thank you so much for replying my posts, it helped me so much while i was really down. i really appreciate all advices that you've given me.......thank you...now i can smile again....can't wait to see what's around the corner for me... i wanna stay positive, and wanna make the best out of my life...and i'm sure that good things will come to me eventually....with or without him...hehe...chin up chin up !!!!

[pinkpuca84]

okay guys...just wanna update my "story"....well...me and him are friends again now....we had a long chat yesterday, i think everything was back to normal. and none of us feel weird about each other.

until he suddenly told me that i shouldn't get mad at my "best" friend anymore. cos it was just misunderstanding. i told him that i was a bit lazy and not in the mood of talking to her. he assumed that i was still mad at her...so he told me "i just want u to know that good friends are hard to find, when u find it, u shouldnt let the misunderstanding break it"

then i just snapped. cos i really am still mad at her. well...not as mad as before, but i still prefer not to talk about her just yet. i replied him "i know when she is a REAL good friends, okay? accept it" then i said "nite" and went offline. cos before that he told me not to block her from msn (which i told him that i did), and at least say "hi" to her. GREAT! thats why i snapped.

was i wrong? i dont want him to think that i'm an "evil" girl who doesnt have heart to forgive a "small" thing. it's just that i need time to forget what she's done to me. i know she apologised to me already, but personally, i am not someone who can just forgive someone then pretend that nothing ever happpened. especially when she made me cried for days! i was really hurt by what she did, and deeply dissapointed. now he asked me to be "a good girl" for him. yea...as if i can! what do u guys think?

[clynn]

You can only feel what you feel in the time that you feel it.

IF you force yourself to reconcile with her before you are ready or because someone else says so, then it won't be natural.

Take it under consideration and in time your heart will tell you what to do.

[pinkpuca84]

thanks Clynn...that's just what i need to hear...finally someone understands me...even tho it's not him.... should i just not be friends with him anymore? things are going weird now...should it take "time out" from talking to him? well...if i "absent" from his life, i dont think he will miss out on anything anyway...cos everything is going well in his life. his mum is recovered, and basically it...i dont think he doesnt need me anymore. so should i just give time for myself, to forget about these things? it may need a long time tho....or should i stay?

[clynn]

It might be a good idea to take a bit of a break just so that you're not relying on "when will I talk with him next" OR "What does HE think about such adn such". Sounds like you guys have known each other for many years so I"m sure you'll stay friends.

But in the meantime a break may be really good for you! Probably very "Freeing"

[pinkpuca84]

Clynn...have u ever had this situation where u are so tired of a problem, that u can't feel anything anymore? thats what i'm feeling rite now: nothing. not happy, not sad...not confused...just suddenly "blank", what's that called?

[Rosebud]

UGH... Numb?

[clynn]

Yeah, you're just sorta numb to the situation now. Tired, exhausted. That is not a bad place to be. You've done so much thinking about it now you're just "done with it".

Good step!

[pinkpuca84]

okay....it's true...i dont REALLY care abt him as much as before now....i'm kinda in a state where i just go "whatever..." if he likes me eventually, it's good....but if he still doesnt, well...i dont lose anything (cos i never have him in the first place anyway)...

but this is back to my "best" friend again. these past few days she seemed to be blaming me for not trusting her, and she's disapointed...and she said "it's good that i know it now...otherwise when we're old, we'll regret that we thought we're true friends" stuff like that...she makes me feel like i'm the "bad" one...and she's the "good" one. hhh.....am i really? what do u think?

i'm scared of her sometimes, cos i really dont understand the way she thinks (not only abt this matter, but abt anything else too).

i just dont like it when people think that i'm mean...why do i have to understand and make such a big effort to forgive people, when my own heart is shattered, and people dont even attempt to understand me? it's so unfair....i feel like my live is all about giving and giving and giving....when i just wanna take care of myself once in a while, they all go "U'RE MEANN!" something like that....

[Power Diva]

What a load of!!!!!!!!! This dude has no right to tell you how you should conduct your friendships, who does he think he is? Facts are that you cant trust this person (for good reason) and if you dont wanna talk to her/ be friends with her then that is your business.
I suggest you let these people grow up and see what they are like in 10 years or so, until then they are best left amongst themselves.