The best advice you'll get this year

[Wildfire]

wow u most be prity special to understand this jibberish. she/he should realy try putting in some

,'s and .'s

Oh I am so sorry, my english is not up to your standard, but I have never had any complaits before.

Did you managed to understand that

[dreamer101]

so what is love then? Define it for me… not idealistically, but realistically?

[Ladies_Man(jks)]

I majored in PSYCH and the one thing I learned in relationship studies was that passionate love never lasts and the best thing married couples can do is realise this. Back in the day (1960's, long before I was born lol), studies showed that marriage was less about love and more about convenience. Now people expect marriage to be like the movies, passionate romance that lasts a lifetime, when in reality it is not.

There is something called companionate love and that seems to be the predictor of long happy marriages. Companionate love is composed of intimacy (feeling close to your partner being able to share intimate feelings) and commitment (the feeling that you and your partner have a lot invested in eachother and are dependent on one another). This is the kind of love that lasts.

The general public are under the false assumptions that an intmate relationship of 10+ years needs to have the same level of passion as at the beginning. When in reality passionate love although very high at the begining of a relationship, is very variable and usually drops off compared to the stable Companionate love that most happily married older couples show.

I mean this isn't a one size fits all theory, but I think our society is too caught up in the idea of passionate romance and sustaining it for a marriage of 10+ years, the problem is that 99% of the time it will never be like that.

If your goal is to maintain that initial spark in your relationship, the thing that made you fall head over heels for eachother. Then, I hate to say it, but expect to breakup every 4-7 years and start over with someone new and keep doing it until the day you die. I'm not saying it's a bad thing and some people might like the idea of doing that.

If you want to be happily married for a long time, I think it's important that a couple maintain intimacy and commitment to one another and let the passion go up and down like it always does and try not to worry about it as much.

Also don't have the idea in mind that sex always has to be perfect and make sure you have it often enough, since sex is important in maintaining relationship stability.

Thats my spiel on love lol. Hope it helps somebody.

[vashti]

I agree w/ ladiesman.

[ash_1]

Special? I suppose you're labelling yourself a nihilist?

[Ellynn]

What you should do instead of trying to get things which are out of your reach, you should appreciate what you have, by happy with your meaningless existance.

The more simple your life, the more you can enjoy it, sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

I agree with this part.....MINUS the meaningless existance part. We should enjoy what we have instead of always trying for somethnig we don't have. But then again, its always fun to dream isn't it? Its good to have goals and to strive.. But yes, sometimes we forget about what we have...

As for the meaningless existance part, How do you know its meaningless? It is...what you make of it. Maybe you need to find meaning in your life in order to find love...(which can be different kinds of love also). What may be an insignificant action of yours might mean the world to someone else. (and no, not necessarily to a love interest).

[pinkpuca84]

catasthrope, why dont u tell us what ur "speciality" is...ehehehe...u obviously are eager to tell us too, right? since no one else in this forum asked yet, so here i go...i'm asking u.

[vashti]

I doubt anyone cares...

[joe1234]

hes got anger management problems

[halis123456789]

I'm not going to read all the replies..maybe someone already said this.

I by no means have it all figured out, but I have realized recently that love, like you have in your head, doesn't really exist. However, you have to realize that love is about compromise. You know that girl you take out and she's great and funny and nice but something just isn't there. So you keep chasing the same women that almost give you the time of day, but never quite do.

Next time give the first girl a better chance, you might run into something that you never even expected. COMPROMISE. That's my New Year's Resolution. As for the second girl, it has been my experience that no matter how bad you want them, or how close you seem to be getting (and when I say close, you could even be having sex with them) they are never really there. They are just black holes that will suck the life right out of you, and it's not their fault, it's just not there. And they are chasing their own black holes.

And we have come full circle......

[Gigabitch]

Excuse me, but was that actually nendo complaining that anyone else was difficult to understand?

Why do you fools make yourselves so difficult to read? Don't you want people to listen to what you have to say?