Girlfriend has fallen out of love with me ( long post )

[vashti]

Point well taken Gigabitch. Personally (and I think you'll agree) that ALL first dates should be in a public place whether it's day or evening. (I still prefer evening tho)

And that goes for no matter where you met the person. Online (especially!) at the gym, at a nightclub or at Grandma's Sunday church social.

Just basic safety. There are a lot of nuts out there, both male and female.

Um... I'm not giga.

[Gigabitch]

Um... I'm not giga.

What is this? I go shopping for a couple of hours and look what happens....

[blackiesharley]

What is this? I go shopping for a couple of hours and look what happens....

Oops...Sorry. It's been a very loooong day, I check in here for entertainment.

My apology.

[vashti]

Oops...Sorry. It's been a very loooong day, I check in here for entertainment.

My apology.

Shouldn't you be apologizing to ME?

[Sutty]

Well I figured somthing out tonight, me and her went to the gym together and i took her home and we had a talk, now what I wanted to hear didn't come out of this talk which would be "lets get back together" BUT...

I dropped into the conversation "you fell out of love with me" and she kinda stopped and looked at me and said "I didn't fall out of love just..." and I was like ok what the hell?

anyhow she used a analogy to explain how she felt, months before we got together when we was good friends, I slept with her friend a couple of times but it didn't really go anywhere it was just for fun more then anything, and she said remember my friend how you thought she was pretty and sexy etc, then months down the line you kind of lost that feeling, well thats how I have been feeling and it has slowly built up.

Ok well I could of took this a couple of ways, I could of thought omg I suck and im ugly and I want to die, but I didn't infact it made me feel a whole lot better, because now I dont feel powerless to the situation. like i said im not the best looking lad in the world and I dont have a six pack and rippling muscles, but I now have somthing to work towards. The last couiple of weeks she has been poking abit of fun at me and i never took it to heat, she even once said when we joined the gym that she wanted us to get fit and would fancy each other a whole lot more, maybe her motivations for saying that were quite selfish but who wants second best ?

Now I feel like I can work towards somthing, and i will use her as my motivation because I never want this to happen again, an if we never do get back together then ok i will accept that and I will move on and continue to be her best mate.

I dont see a downside to this, I improve myself and my confidence inmyself ( although I never really thought I was lacking in it ) and maybe somewhere down the line me and my best friends relationship will devolop again, but for now I will accept its over and I will move on, but I dont want us to grow apart and I dont want to loose somone to talk to with my problems and although we may not be a item I dont want to lose somone who cares.

Everyones input has helped alot and I took everyones advice and twisted it into my own way and at some point im sure it will fit into this situation. Iam a long way from fully getting over this and I also understand that she does have alot going on in her life at the moment and that proberly all I talked about above was only one of the many factors that made her decide that she wasn't wanting a releationship at this moment. Our talk has helped and im actually feeling alot better.

We also talked about where she wanted to go with her life, and while in the gym there was a fashion program on tv.. she quit uni because the course she was on was a design course, she wanted to be more involved in the buying and marketing and thats why she left. The only thing stopping her at the moment is the thought of comming out of uni with alot of debt and if she gets half way through the course and changes her mind again. The only thing I said was if it is really somthing you want to do then you should reguardless of the debt, the debt at the end of the day is somthing that will go away and you WILL be doiing somthing you want to do, which seemed to cheer her up.

I give her a call after the talk we had in my car, and explained my feelings like I have just her, and the responce I got was what I wanted to hear, I was right probaly not totaly but im on the right lines.

I dont think of her as shallow etc, like I said I never really did understand it and there probaly was parts of me she did fancy, but like the ladder scheme says 40% wealth 50% looks an the last 10% is novility, and releationships on novility never work out.

Like I say I didn't look as this as a bad thing and only good will come of it for me, and I realised I can remain friends with her and that is somthing i never ever want to lose.

[xwfuro]

sever all ties, remain positive, call on your friends

everything is gonna be alright.