First Breakup

[Gigabitch]

Look, right now you're coming from a position of pathetic weakness. Of course she can make you feel guilty. She could make you feel anything, and if you want the truth, she'll probably keep you in this state as long as she can because girls like to feel like they're holding the reins.

YOU need time. Tell her. Don't see her for a couple of weeks, don't get anywhere near her on Myspace, don't even talk to your mutual friends. This is a power struggle. Do not lay down in front of her with your belly up. Don't tell her you'll always be there for her, bla, bla, bla. Tell her you don't know right now and you need time to think.

And then actually take some time to think. You're not going to miss out on some grand opportunity if you don't talk to her for awhile.

It's not just a game. You need to treat yourself with more respect than she does, for your own sake, no matter what the outcome.

[SWLR]

We're not talking at the moment. Asking about this guy upset her apparently

I'm really bad at keeping away from her, but this time I'm going to do it.

I do need thinking time, your right.

To be honest I'm not sure what I want... If we got back together, is it worth the risk of being hurt again?

I've still got me

[Gigabitch]

There's that thinking you should be doing....

...is it worth it? Maybe it is, and you'll get back together, but there's no way your relationship will ever be what it was. Start thinking about what you would want it to be.

In fact, think about your ideal, perfect relationship and see if she even fits into that any more.

[SWLR]

The thought of the two of them together.... kills. I can't stop thinking about it, even though I don't know for sure that it's true.

I'm not really well at the moment (probally not the right place to post). I'm not eating or sleeping is this normal?

[Gigabitch]

Yes. I actually found LF because I was sleeping about three hours a night and was frantically searching for some kind of remedy. It was horrible. I found this website:

[url]http://www.nvo.com/isleepless/heartbroken/[/url]

and it helped a little.

[SWLR]

She spoke to me.

Me: Where do I stand?

Her: I don't know. I really don't know. You won't understand mine and Tom's situation. We are best friends and hes going to university and it'll be sad.. I'll miss him. Maybe I do like him a little bit, but nothing would ever happen because I love you..."

What do you make of that? Because I dont know what to think.

Thank you for the link Giga

[SWLR]

I know I'm reviving an old thread.. I'm not sure wheither you want me to make a new one. But the full story is here.

I spoke to her about five minutes ago, and lets say it didn't go to well.

She first accused me of sleeping with one of her best friends (which I haven't) I also have no idea where she got this idea from.
She tells me everytime we talk I make her unhappy.. Maybe I do. I don't know. I ask her questions about "us"

.."Where do I stand?" .. "Is there someone else?" .. "How do you feel about me?"

I never get a straight answer.

I want to let go of her, and I want to move on. But it's hard, she meant the world to me.

I've written her a message telling her how I feel, and asking her these questions. I've not sent it yet, and I'm unsure wheither I should.. I may regret it soon after. What do you think?

We broke up nearly two months ago how long does this healing process take?

[Gigabitch]

You aren't really done breaking up, actually. After that, maybe about 6 months.

[gHEXjt]

Breaking up takes a very long time. Your main problem, though, is that you have yet to cut contact with her and are still holding on to hope that you'll be back together. I don't really see a problem with you sending her some kind of a note asking her the questions you want answers to. What bad could come from it, because it doesn't seem like it could be much worse for you than it is now.

I went through a TERRIBLE breakup last year, was led on for months, wondering about all the same things you are now about getting back together, another guy, etc. It wasn't until 3 months after we broke up that she got straight with me and told me the truth, that she was seeing someone else. For three months, up until that night, I was stuck with the delusion that she was going to call me one day and tell me she wanted to work things out. The main problem was that she kept telling me she would do that, but obviously it didn't happen.

As long as you continue to hold out hope, you will not be able to start moving on, I guarantee that. Losing someone you love is a tough process, and you will not be an exception to the rule. To be frank, I broke up with my ex 14 months ago. And I can unfortunately say that I still think about her everyday. She was my best friend for many years and it was tough to get past it. There will be other girls you are interested in, but know that if it takes a while for you to get completely over the relationship, that's normal. That said, I am over the ex, but it took almost a year and that doesn't mean I don't think about her anymore, I just think that come even more time, I won't think about her anymore either. Really, you just need to find yourself a rebound.

Just hang in there...but like I said, there's probably no harm in sending her a note. How much deeper can you get?

[SWLR]

I've tried asking answers to my questions before (over MSN messenger) but she just runs and hides.

Shes becoming extremely jelous of me talking to other girls. She also has had to go to extra effort to find out who I've been talking to.

We've started arguing regulary now. I think because I keep bringing up these questions and she doesn't want to give answers. Thats why I was concerned in sending her a message.

I'm not sure how to go about it all. I keep trying to cut contact but I give in to quickly and I'm back to square one.

I just hope this gets easier

[SWLR]

I was doing great. I just found out shes started seeing my friend after leading me to believe she still wanted to be with me.

I'm in such a mess right now, I don't know what to do

[Gigabitch]

Confront and sever. That girl is poison, and you know it.

[SWLR]

The thought of them together tears me apart. How can one single person do this.

Jeez, all I can do is cry, I can't sleep

[Gigabitch]

Watch a movie. You need a break from it for awhile. Than cry some more. Then read a book for a while. Then cry some more.

Just don't call the little ho.

[SWLR]

I don't understand why she has done this.

She started texting me saying she just wanted to speak to me because shes been feeling down, so I was there for her... now shes thrown it all back in my face

what about my friend, am I right to hate him?