heartache

[cineva_]

It wasn't love at first sight...At first I used to think only bad things about him: oh, he's so foolishly proud I would say, but one day I found myself staring at him from far and something changed in my mind and then in my soul too...I found him so charming that time...next time I saw him, afterwards I just couldn't stop thinking about him ...but he was so far though close enough to feel him, to know him beyond words...it's such an impossible love, but I still find myself looking at him from far, stealing a glance...sometimes just a glance is enough to get up high, but I always fall because he's not mine and he couldn't ever be...but I love my angel, as I like to call him...a lot of people don't like him, but they can't see what I see, they can't see the good in him...I can see beyond the daily him, the social him...and I love him...sometimes I can't even explain it to myself, but it's beyond physical attraction even though I was first attracted by his attitude: so manly, so charming...but I discovered his kindness too and without wanting it I fell for him so deeply in love...sometimes only hearing others saying someting about him makes me feel something in my stomach...and I love the butterflys I feel when seeing him...today I saw him...I knew that if I would stay there at that hour I will get the chance to see him for some moments: when he passed through that hallway he had a serious, sad face...he's not like that when I usually see him, but today he looked unhappy...I wish I could do something for that to change, but I can't...I think about him and I fall asleep wishing I will see him in a dream...it feels good to see him in dreams, but it feels better in reality...there was a time last year when the circumstances made us communicate...I remember the time when he talked to me, when I would listen to him, talk to him, look straight at him, smiling at him and him almost smiling at me, cold, but yet so kind and sweet...my heart aches and I know I'll eventually meet someone and fall in love and be with that person for real, but I'll never forget this love even if it's only me that feels it...sometimes I think that maybe he noticed me too and that he represed someting I made him feel, but this I will never know...never...I can only watch him from time to time and wish he's happy and wish he'll be happy forever...I know it's bad, but is a sweet torture trying to be as next to him as possible and I can't help myself...and I look at him hiding my in love look from others around me and from him...sometimes I think that it would be nice for him to know exactly what I feel, but he will never know how much I care about him, how much I admire him, how much I love him...I don't care if people find this chesey, but it's how I feel and it's my pure love.

[Ellynn]

Wow, you just put into words how I feel about someone.

That was awesome.....

[Junket]

For a brief 3 hours I felt the most intense heartache of my entire life.

It's an emotion that goes beyond anything I've ever experienced.

[Zach]

Amazing. Amazing that you are able to put into words what some others can't even understand.

Fras- Did you feel that heartache because you read that? Or is it something completely different?

[Junket]

Fras- Did you feel that heartache because you read that?

No, but I'm getting a headache from these questions...

[cineva_]

it was really easy for me to write about it...i could have written more, zack...it's crazy.

[vashti]

For a brief 3 hours I felt the most intense heartache of my entire life.

It's an emotion that goes beyond anything I've ever experienced.

Hey! What happened? Did something happen with Amy when I was away?

[Junket]

Hey! What happened? Did something happen with Amy when I was away?

No, no, that was actually right before me and Amy resolved things. The night I tried to end it and she called me.

[Ellynn]

it was really easy for me to write about it...i could have written more, zack...it's crazy.

Out of curiousity, who is this about? Obviously someone you cannot be with, but who in your life? Explain please.

Very well written though. WOW, took the thoughts out of my mind.

[cineva_]

give me your e-mail adress, ellynn..i can't write you a pm because i don't heve 5 posts yet...i'll tell it only to you because i'm a curious person too and i know the feeling but it's kind of too personal to say it here.

[cineva_]

have, sorry

[Ellynn]

*deleted*

But by the time I give you this, you will probably have 5 posts!

[vashti]

Ellynn, you are such a trusting, kind soul. When I read that this virtual stranger wanted to contact you privately to discuss someone none of us know or care about, I got the willies.

I am not a kind, trusting soul. I am a suspicious, evil woman. Don't mess with me.

[Zach]

Cineva - I would also love to learn more. If you ever feel like talking about this or anything else Im here.

[email]omfg.pwnd.lol@gmail.com[/email] <-- Email

--Zach

[Ellynn]

Ellynn, you are such a trusting, kind soul. When I read that this virtual stranger wanted to contact you privately to discuss someone none of us know or care about, I got the willies.

I am not a kind, trusting soul. I am a suspicious, evil woman. Don't mess with me.

haha, well its just one of many email addresses. I'm not too worried.