It's driving me mad.
I want to see her so bad.
But I'm mixed.
I think the whole "out of sight out of mind" thing is at work here.
She doesn't express her feelings well through words so while talking to her on the phone or whatever is good, it can feel so "dry" sometimes.
I'm still the one who usually initiates any phone conversations, and while right now the prospect of calling her is nothing exciting, it's like as soon as I hear her voice I feel better and the conversations just flow.
I'm falling back into my "old" self. The one who feels like I don't need intimacy to get along, and I don't, I really don't. But I feel so good when I do have it. I remember when I saw here again in NOLA, it all came flooding back. I want to see her I need to see her but half of me is just so pissed at my situation that I feel like it'd be better to just shut down and cut off all my commitments, to her and to everything else.
I need to feel her again.
**** me and this situation.
**** the police.
**** the government.
**** the law.
**** **** **** ****.
I just wanna live my god damn life.








