
Originally Posted by
Ben-E-Hana
Hello - this is my first post. I am very interested to hear what everyone has to say. Basically, about a month ago my exclusive gf of 3 years said she wanted the option to date other people. She is 23 y.o. and I am 27 y.o.. This was brought about because she was asked out by a coworker of hers (Long-story short - they went on a date or two, but decided it wasn't worth pursuing further). I am curious as to what her thoughts are regarding the longevity of our relationship. Does she see me as a suitable short-term partner, but not long-term? Why would she want to remain together, yet still keep the option to see other people? How concerned should I be that she was willing to open up our relationship after getting asked out?
This simple analogy should help clear things up.
Imagine you've sent in your resume' for a job, and you got hired! You now get this great salary & amazing benefits. All of a sudden, you see this ad in the local paper about this other job. So, you just ask/tell your boss; "hey, i'm going to start working there for a while, or on the side; but i'm not officially quitting because I still need my salary & benefits.. if it doesn't work out, i'll just stay here; if it does, see you.. thanks for the safty-net"
Now, you're in the position of the boss... how hurt are you that an employee would even tell u something like that. Obviously, you're not going to waste your time and money on someone who's just thinking of moving on, and considering your company a "last resort/safety net". You want to invest your time and money in an employee who will stay with the company and help it grow.
So, just as it's not fair the the company/boss/etc. it's not fair to you to be a human rug for her to walk all over. She's USING you! So just make it stop. Don't accept a "ok, you're right, i'm sorry"... it's too late for that. "Let's be adults about this; we had good times; goodbye, I hope you find someone great, and I hope we can still be friends.. so that when you find someone great, and i'm still single, we can still mingle.. jk jk.."
But that's the moral of the story, pick up that phone.. and even if she doesn't pick up; let her know that it's over... call her until she gets your message.. it's over. Period.
If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.