My mom has gone PSYCHO on my lesbian partner.

[thebluespot]

I'm in love with my girlfriend, we been together for almost two years now. I came out to my mom 2 months ago and she just went crazy, now she's threating me that if i continue with my girlfriend she'll hurt her bad and she doesn't cares if she goes to jail for it. She has told me that she will first mess with her life, job, family and i don't want that to happen.
My only choice was to move out of my house but my mom told me that she will continue with everything even if i move out. I need help, has anyone been in a similar situation? I've tried others to talk to her but it hasn't worked out, she doesn't wants to hear anyone. HELP please!!

[Only-virgins]

If you are an adult and you move out than you have the law to protect you from her.

[Mathias]

Call the police. That's a serious threat, and needs to be dealt with.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, come on, bluespot. That's not even fair. Give us some basic information in your post so we don't have to ask all of those "How old are you" questions.

[thebluespot]

Sorry, I'm 22 years old.

[thebluespot]

Yeah the law can protect me from her but not the things she can do to my girlfriend like calling her job and get her fired or call her parents and tell tem everything, they don't know she's gay.

[Gigabitch]

How old is SHE? Didn't the two of you have a long conversation about what was going to happen when you came out to your mom? Did you do this without considering what might happen to her?

I am by no means an advocate of staying in the closet, I'm just saying you should look outside the door first. If you're both still in your respective parents' power, I have to question why you didn't plan this better.

Okay, this isn't really advice, but if it were ME, I'd tell every family member with a problem with the idea to go **** themselves and if my girlfriend got fired, we'd sue the hell out of her employer.

I had a niece AND a sister-in-law in this position in the last five years. Long story short, their relatives got over it. All of them. Neither of the girls backed down.

I say stand up for yourself.

[IndiReloaded]

Move out. You are an adult and have the right to make your own choices. Your mom will have to come around eventually, or lose her daughter.

Your partner is within her rights to press charges if your mother harasses her at her workplace. She can even deny it all and claim slander. I doubt she (your mom) will unless she is crazy. Regardless, in case she does, it will be easier for your partner to act if you aren't living with mommy.

[Junket]

I'll fúck your mom in the ass for you.

She probably just needs to get laid.

[Mish]

I'm in love with my girlfriend, we been together for almost two years now. I came out to my mom 2 months ago and she just went crazy, now she's threating me that if i continue with my girlfriend she'll hurt her bad and she doesn't cares if she goes to jail for it. She has told me that she will first mess with her life, job, family and i don't want that to happen.
My only choice was to move out of my house but my mom told me that she will continue with everything even if i move out. I need help, has anyone been in a similar situation? I've tried others to talk to her but it hasn't worked out, she doesn't wants to hear anyone. HELP please!!

You need to have a serious conversation with her. One where you look her in the eyes and show her your resilence on the issue. You need to listen to her hate speech and calm her fears whatever those fears might be. Then you will need to make her understand that this is your life and its your choice and she will not be able to make you "change" with threats only make you less receptive to her, she will have to accept that. If she doesn't accept that your relationship with her may be permanently broken, you need to make sure she understands this.

If she continues with her threats or God forbid carries any of them out then you will just have to take it on the chin. What else can you do? Deal with it the best you can.

[GrkScorp]

I'm in love with my girlfriend, we been together for almost two years now. I came out to my mom 2 months ago and she just went crazy, now she's threating me that if i continue with my girlfriend she'll hurt her bad and she doesn't cares if she goes to jail for it. She has told me that she will first mess with her life, job, family and i don't want that to happen.
My only choice was to move out of my house but my mom told me that she will continue with everything even if i move out. I need help, has anyone been in a similar situation? I've tried others to talk to her but it hasn't worked out, she doesn't wants to hear anyone. HELP please!!

Well; i'm not too crazy with asking what age the two of you are.. I have a lesbian friend (23) and her girlfriend is (37). She still lives with her parents (my 23 y/o friend that is), and her family knows, but her mom is constantly on her case about it; making threats that she's going to stop paying for her school, that she's going to kick her out of the house, etc.. blah blah blah..

I my opinion; and this is what I tell my friend; she's your mother, and no matter what, if you have a kid at age 16, if you have sex with 20 guys in one night at a gang-bang party, if you're a lesbian and have a girlfriend.. it doesn't make a difference, because under the act and all the drama, you're still her little girl, and she still loves you..

Sounds a bit cliche'; but! My 23 y/o friend still lives with her parents, and they still pay for her school..

Now, apply this to you..

Do you honestly think; that your mother, would want to emotionally hurt you? On top of that, do you honestly think that your mom wouldn't mind going to jail (and not being able to find work as a result) because she hurt someone else physically? AND, do you honestly think that your mom wants to come off as crazy in front of this girl's parents? (because guess what, only a crazy parent would call up and tell me that my daughter is a lesbian; and all my daugher would have to do is deny it; and her mother has zero credibility with respect to my own daughter.. would I start to have doubts? yeah, maybe.. but the point is that, all that mother would have done at that moment is come off crazy, and i'd be scared of her, would not trust her, and wouldn't want to talk to her again)

So, if you think YES, your mother would honestly go through all this trouble to do all this; then wow, run, she's crazy..

But, if you can tell that this is all her being enraged, heated up, in shock, and petty-drama.. (as a result of her not being open-minded and accepting; if I had a daughter and she was a lesbian, I really wouldn't care, I would be very accepting of it.. if my first-son was gay though; i'd have to kill him and have an other one ) .. but if you can conclude that.. you know what.. I don't think my mom is the type of person to do all that.. then her threat is (invalid)..

What I would do if I was you.. don't ARGUE.. don't try and convince her.. she's not your father.. she's your mother.. logic is useless..

Instead of arguing; use her emotions to your advantage.. explain to her what she would like you to do? it's not like you can just go with a guy.. it's the way you feel, you can't change it.. if we lived in a lesbian world.. and she would feel attracted to men.. how would she feel? how would she feel if her own parents would now punish her and threaten her that unless she would go with a woman just like everyone else, there would be negative consequences? it's beyond her control.. try to explain how hard it was for you to even say it.. and you said it, because you wanted comfort and understanding from the ONE person you thought would care and feel for you, the one person you could open up to and trust.. and instead, she's making you feel even more horrible for how you feel, for things that you can't control.. (keep expanding on this; it's a good place to start)

[this is a negotiation tactic] and though cheap-shots like this are disallowed in the courtroom, in a business setting, or in marketing; it's very effective with friends and family.. it's more than an emotional-guilt-bridge.. there are a TON of elements in this tactic.. but more than anything.. it's how you ACTUALLY feel.. so it's natural for you to just talk about it and lean the conversation naturally..

- Attraction is not a choice; it's beyond your control, there's nothing you can do about it.
- It was hard for you to even open up
- She's your mother, and the one person you feel you could trust and open up to; the one person you though would feel what you're going through.
- Explain your situation and put her in your shoes in a way she can understand; allow her to feel how you feel.
- Explain (not through logic; but emotionally) how this isn't fair, that she's punishing you for something that's beyond your control, and that SHE is punishing you out of all people; it's not enough that you have the whole world against you, but your own parents, your own mother, is making you feel even worse about it!

This is a good start.. Best of Luck.. i'm going to have some ice-cream

[vashti]

Your mom is still adjusting to the idea that her daughter is a lesbian. Give her a small amount of credit... she raised you, and I presume loves you. This is really startling info to find out, and it means the end of any dreams she may have had about son-in-laws, grandchildren (by the traditional method), etc. I think she is reacting out of anger, and is obviously having issues. Maybe you can refer her to Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, which is a support group for people in her position.

[url]http://www.pflagdc.org/[/url]

Oh yeah... it's time for you to move out.

[anachronistic]

Move out, but before you do that, I have a nice little immature prank for you to get revenge on her.

Go to Mcdonalds, and get a bunch of packs of ketchup. You know the little blocks that hold the toilet seat up from the rest of the toilet, in your bathroom? Put the lid up, and put the ketchup packets on the toilet, and set the seat back down so that the little blocks are resting on ketchup packets. Make sure it's nice and sturdy; the idea is to squirt ketchup into her undies.

If that's not good enough, tape clear saran wrap the the underside of the toilet seat so that when she pisses, it bounces back up all over her.

That would probably only make her mad at you... if you are going to do it, do it the last day you're there, the day you move out.

[thebluespot]

I've tried talking to her and telling her all that stuff, it doesn't works, she doesn't listens and she believes whatever she wants to believe. She has her mind set on the idea that I'm confused and that this is just peer pressure because i have low self-esteem, which is all false, but it's what she created in her crazy mind.

Additional information:
I'm an only child
My mom is 62, a widow and catholic.

..so um yeah, i'm f*cked.

I'll guess I'll try talking to my family and see what they can do, I also thought of going to a psychiatrist but she refuses to go unless it's a Christian psychiatrist, wtf?!

[Gigabitch]

That's very nearly an oxymoron. I've never met a psychiatrist that was very religious. Not to say it doesn't happen, it just sounds... odd.

I say cut the umbilical cord and move out.