Thrown for a loop here!

[jslaughter]

You are such a wonderful human being - I am rooting for you!

[Bonovox40]

Talked more like usual. Innuendo from her back and forth. Compliments about me and some back from me. Talk of her confusion and not wanting to hurt each other. She told me she will not tell her bf to not come to America. She just can't throw that on him like that. She said that maybe after summer, he will be gone from her life. She said that she was afraid because he called saying that he fears she will be leaving him and said he wants to buy her a ring. She said to him "I don't know right now. I don't know if I can do that."

I told her just to follow her heart and she didn't get mad but frustrated saying "You tell me this but it is what hurts me to. I know it is right but I do not know what to do." At some point we got off the serious talk because I know it's always good to end on a good note. I made her laugh and I laughed and she said "You did what I wanted you to do. You laughed for me and I love to hear you laugh and your voice. It makes me feel happy." I explained to her about when I can meet her on July 10th and she says she does want to see me but feels as though she can never cheat. (If the same feelings come back the way they did in the bedroom, then I seriously doubt her morals will interfere. It's bound that something will happen.

Anyway, I was kinda bummed about that she won't tell him not to come but it is interesting that she has somewhat rejected his offer for marriage. It's pretty shady that he notices a change in her and becomes drastic to keep her. (just like the suicide thing) Guys are f'ckin as$holes! Damn co-dependant abusers! It's like saying "I can't live without you because I need someone to hurt to feel alive and I don't think anyone else will let me hurt you like you do."

But it isn't my business how she feels about him. I'm just somewhat on the side/middle. I'm driving to the camp tonight to drop off a package. I made a little care package with all the emails printed that she has been unable to read, some pictures printed out I sent her, some food, aspirin, bug lotion, umbrella and a new phone card so she doesn't have to worry because she is on her last one. She cannot travel outside the camp so she can't pick up supplies or phone cards. I know she'll be happy to get it. I told her last night that I have a surprise for her and she was like "Ohh..you are so kind. Why are you like this to me? I never gave you anything."

We do talk about us and it usually gets her frustrated and confused and worried but I always take the time to make sure she is feeling good or laughing when I say goodbye. I know that's what she will remember the most when she goes to bed.

Hopefully the camp will not reject my package or turn me away. I'm not driving over an hour to get shafted because someone won't take a one pound box to her!

[jslaughter]

I've had a somewhat crappy day so forgive me btu I just don't get why she can't tell her boyfriend that she wants to see other people AT LEAST. I feel annoyed that it sounds like she is still talking to him a bunch. He's not co-dependent - he's a PSYCHO! Threatening suicide if someone leaves you is emotional black mail, and at some point she has to let him be responsible for his own actions and pursue her own happiness.

She can walk the whole world over and she will be hard pressed to find someone like you - tell her she better snatch you up while she has the chance!

[Bonovox40]

She can walk the whole world over and she will be hard pressed to find someone like you - tell her she better snatch you up while she has the chance!

My selfish sentiments exactly!

[Bonovox40]

Well, I headed out to take her the package but 30 miles out, I turned around. I got a call from my friend saying that I will get her in trouble and most likely cause some kinda of fallout flak onto my family. (which is possible with their position in the Kiwanis group). Part of me really wanted to go, but I know it's fine if I just mail it and she gets it in a few days. I guess maybe driving so far and dropping it off would appear somewhat desperate. I spent some time making her this package and I kinda got swept up in the fun of making something for someone. It felt unselfish and I got a kick thinking of what to put in there. Grabbed some cookies, wheat thins, aspirin, a mini umbrella, bug lotion/sunscreen, gum, candy, a phone card and a 4th of July shirt because she loves clothes and likes American clothing so I figured she'd like this. It's a shooting star with a small "4th of July" so it's not like you couldn't get away with wearing it anytime of the year.
I also made her a soothing/meditation cd with some uptempo stuff on it, (already had the mp3's) and printed out my emails she's been unable to read and also made a small picture collage of pictures of Hungary, cats, my cat, me and a coffee machine. (inside sexual joke between us) I also wrote a letter explaining the gifts and that I just did it because it made me happy, not because i'm trying to win her or anything since she's not a prize to be won.

I just feel bummed because anytime I openly want to do something nice to someone and don't ask for anything in return, I get shafted by the system. It's hard to follow your heart when everything but, is headed in the opposite direction. It's too bad that because of some mishaps in the previous years and thanks to a small number of people, all camp staff have lost their daily traveling priviledges so it's only every 16 or so days I can theoretically visit. It stinks because I have an extra month to enjoy what could possibly happen between us but that doesn't matter much now with these visitation gaps.
Just an update.

[jslaughter]

Um, Bono, do you have a single brother?

All teasing aside, clearly you are a warm and caring person. Perhaps this time when she can't have visitors will allow her to figure out how wonderful you are and what a loser her boyfriend is. I still wish she would step up to the plate and tell the BF to GET LOST, but I suppose there's time for that.

In the meantime, I'm pulling for you!

[Bonovox40]

[QUOTE=jslaughter]Um, Bono, do you have a single brother?

QUOTE]

No. but I have a twin sister if that counts. Did I mention that she met her husband in Greece? He's originally from Lebanon and she travelled over there for a week for some college music trip. (major in symphony and teaching) He worked in a clothing store. He took her around the city for a day and went sightseeing with her. She only saw him for like a day and a half, no sex, no kissy or anything. Exchanged numbers and such and a month later, she calls him from America. They do a "pen pal" type corresspondance and they basically grow feelings together and a year and 1/2 later she travels over there to stay with him and his family for 5 days. He ends up proposing to her and she accepts. Another 6 months later he gets a visa to travel over here and they get married. Kinda funny that my family only got to meet him for the first time, 2 months before they got married. But they're happy and have been married for about 3 years now.

Just goes to show you strange things can happen when Americans and foreigners collide. lol

Hey J, if she ends up staying with her bf, they were planning to visit Flordia. Maybe you can run into them and help her out with "making him dissapear." lol. She'll thank you for it later i'm sure. Aren't there some rather large reptiles out there that make short work of as$holes like him? Jk.

[jslaughter]

Hey J, if she ends up staying with her bf, they were planning to visit Flordia. Maybe you can run into them and help her out with "making him dissapear." lol. She'll thank you for it later i'm sure. Aren't there some rather large reptiles out there that make short work of as$holes like him? Jk.

You maybe kidding but there is a large reptile that I have been trying to fatten up for the past 5 years. I live by UWF - and they have a beautiful nature trail that goves over a swampy area where resides an alligator. When I started there I would have lunch on his bridge and feed him some of my sandwhich.

One day someone came along and asked why I was going that. I smiled really big and said "He's too small to eat." (I am Cajun after all!)

So the moral of the story is that I bet he'd eat about anything I could get into the water, but I wonder if her bf would foul my good Gator meat. Hmmmmmmmmm

[WindyCityLane]

B,

Do you think if the shoe was on the other foot and you had the GF that you "didn't want to hurt" she would be hanging on? I'll bet you if you even suggest the idea that you're going to date while you wait she's not going to like it and she'll be pretending you don't exist in a week. She'll also be patting herself on the back for not letting go of her loser BF just yet because you didn't turn out to be ultimately devoted to her if you could think about being with someone else.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

This is a good rule for this scenario for both of you. Would you want some other guy woo-ing your girl when she's made it clear she's not ready to let go. For whatever the reason (this girl's totally suck) it's her choice to hang on.

I see this relationship fading away. She's not going to leave him and your summer romance will never reach fruition.

You seem like such a good guy, why waste your time?

I'm in a rambling mood today.

[Bonovox40]

I kinda see that outcome too. I don't know for sure, but whatever happens, i'm happy that we had a little "pseudo affair" of some sort, even if it was harmless. I'll know by July 10th where I stand in everyway. I'd like to see how this pans out at least for the summer. Hell, I don't have time afterwards for a relationship with my career and everything so if she goes home and forgets about me, then I guess that's how it was meant to be. If she really does decide to let go, (I feel your viewpointin accurate but she does speak an awful lot about her heart not being with him and blah blah) then we'll see what happens. I'm not going to tear myself apart for this. I just want to enjoy whatever good comes out of it. No real harm in waiting a few weeks to figure it out.