One of the most confusing/ messed up previous relationships that i have ever been in.

[quamen]

Im going to try to make this as short as possible and clear as possible. Im in my mid 20's while my ex who is in her early 20's. I have not been dating her for about 2 years now, because i made a big mistake in our past relationship. I ignored her alot, while i was trying to start a small business while attending night college. I blew her off many times, and basically gave her no attention that she needed at many times. Even though this does sound crazy,but i did love her with all my heart. I became obsessed with starting this business, which did succeed, but i lost the best thing in my life. I love her so much and still do to this day, i wanted to actually get married to this girl. I have thought about her everyday, but no obsessed with her. I have dated many other girls, but she is always on my mind.


So last week i finally run into her, but she with her bf at a local video rental store. I saw her, but i pretended not to see her, but i knew she say me. A few days goes by and i get a IM from one of her close friends who she used to live with. This girl bascially was a middle person always helping to work out our problems when we were together. Keep in mind now, i have not heard from either of these people since we split up. Her friend starts asking me questions like how you doing etc. I feel like saying cut the bs and what do you want, but i didnt cause i already knew and wanted to see what she had to say.

She starts asking me questions like.. are you singe? have any recent pictures of yourself? see anyone from the past recently? I tell her no i didnt see anyone recently even though i saw my ex, and give her the rest of the info. A few minutes later my Ex out of now where messages me, and says she wants to receive a service from my business. Im thinking this is total bs. Not bragging or trying to have a ego, but since i stopped dating my ex, i have been working hard in the gym and have gained alot more confidence and i feel i look alot better. I think that once my ex saw me, she still had feelings for me so she messaged me.

WE talked to about 3 hours, and i had finally enough of this shit. I said i want to take you out,but she is like "You know im in a relationship right" ? I say i dont care, and ask again but she is hesitant. I ask her about her feelings towards me,and she says she still loves me,and if she wansnt in the current situation, things would be different between us. I think she was hesitant to give me another chance, cause i treated her like shit last time. I can understand this, but why would she go through all this ****ing trouble and aggravate me, even if she wont give me another shot?

I know this sounds like High school material, but it is not and true. Were both mature adults and i think her feelings are still strong for me, but she wont give me another shot cause she is seeing someone. What should i do?

[IndiReloaded]

You've told her your feelings, clearly. Good for you. If she wants to be w/you she has to break up w/her BF. Balls in her court now. Try act as you would want to be treated (i.e. don't encourage her to cheat). Good luck, hope it works out.

[bluesummer]

Why are you playing mind games with her, pretending you don't see her and then telling her you didn't when you obviously did? It's like you're belittling her. I mean, you hurt her once and lost her, and you've wanted to get back with her but then you act like this? It's not just her playing games my friend, you have a fair hand in it yourself.

She IS in a relationship, respect that. If it ends, maybe she will give you another chance. But if she does, you need to seriously ask yourself if you can treat her properly this time around. If I were her, I'd be hesitant too.

[Gigabitch]

Mature adults don't do this shit. That inclination you kept having to just say, "cut the bs" was a good one. Next time, go with that.

This girl has no business calling you up and saying all of these things to you if she's not ready to leave her boyfriend. What does she want you to do- break up with him for her?