Student life....

[Sweeney]

I'm a 21 year old girl and I'm doing my master's study in Amsterdam, which is why I moved out of my parents' place past september. My boyfriend lives close to my parents so I'm only seeing him when I get home in the weekends. There's a few difficulties I have encountered around here...

* Sometimes, I feel terribly lonely. This educational system is pretty new, and they're not used to master students coming from other universities (I completed my bachelor's in Maastricht). So I had no introduction or whatsoever, which would have been a good opportunity to meet new people. I've taken two theoretical courses thus far, but my collegues in those courses all came from different cities, at at least an hour traveling. I've written an essay (two months time) next, which is a solitary job. And now I'm doing an internship. I've met some nice people, and I really enjoy my days there. But people are either too old to hang out with, or "dangerous". (there's 1 guy about my age, but I feel too strong an attraction for him so I do not want to see him after work in any way, and there's another one who uses drugs openly...) I already joined some sports club, but I can only go there one evening per week, I can't fit in more with my internship. I haven't met real nice people there so far. So yeah, I basically spend my evenings here in my room behind my pc. I have no idea what to do?! I know I will manage, because I know it's a limited time span, but still...

* Food. How silly it may sound. But I just hate cooking for myself. I want to cook fresh, so it's always way too much plus I don't like the effort. I love to cook for my boyfriend or friends, but just for me feels like a waste of time... So I'm losing weight, which I absolutely don't want too. Problem with this is my internship aswell: I'm making long days, I'm back home around 6.30pm most of the time. And then I have to go shopping. And cook. Which I really don't feel like that late Any ideas on how to make that more attractive?!

* Doubts about what to do next are killing me. I'm only 21, bear in mind. I can choose between a basic internship next, which may possibly be of horrible quality, but which will allow me to start living together with my boyfriend. The other possibility is going for the career. I'm on my way to getting a cum laude gradutation, so getting a very good internship place (possibly in London, or even Boston or something) will not be hard. That will be a major boost for my career. But that will be at least half a year, during which my boyfriend will come to visit me, but probably only once for a week or so. Everyone around me tells me to go abroad, that it'll be fun, a big chance etc. But I don't know. I feel so lonely around here sometimes already On the other hand, I might get better guidance when going abroad. At least I will get some introduction.

* And some last thing, which doesn't really matter right now. But just some thing I started thinking bout quite recently... I think I want to have kids at some point in the future. I just really don't know when. I have a pretty strong ambition I guess, because I want to get a PhD position. Which I know, sorry if I sound arrogant, I will be able to get. It will take me 5 to 7 years to complete that. So calculating: I'm 21 now, will be 23 when I've finished my master, so I will be 28 to 30 when I've finished that PhD. That would be a good age to get kids, or not? But then I've got no job, and I really don't want to spend every day at home with the kids, that would be throwing away the education I got. But parttime jobs are in my workarea not common I'm afraid. So I would have to get a job first. But wouldn't I get too old to get kids then? I know it's still far away, but it's got my head spinning. I don't want to throw away my education, and I think I'll go mad if I stay inside with a child all day, but from the other point of view, I don't want to have kids to have them in some kindergarten 24/7...

[Gigabitch]

* Sometimes, I feel terribly lonely.

It takes longer than 6 months to get used to living in a new place. I actually think 6 months is the suckiest part- nothing's new and exciting any more but it's not home yet, so you're just in this awkward place for a while. It gets better, I promise.

* Food.

You should cook some stuff ahead of time, or at least prep it up for cooking. Having to shop every night is ridiculous- just plan it better. Most people don't have time to cook from scratch every night, but you can come close if you make an effort. What kind of food do you like? What kind of storage do you have available?

* Doubts about what to do next are killing me.

The internship sounds like a lot of fun and a good opportunity, and you won't have that chance again once you start work. When do you actually have to make this decision?

* And some last thing, which doesn't really matter right now. But just some thing I started thinking bout quite recently... I think I want to have kids at some point in the future.

Yeah, you've got to let that one go for now. You can't plan this today- you don't have enough of the information you'll need to make a decision (like who the father is going to be and where you'll live, etc.) Just saying "I want kids someday" is enough at this stage.

[Sweeney]

It takes longer than 6 months to get used to living in a new place. I actually think 6 months is the suckiest part- nothing's new and exciting any more but it's not home yet, so you're just in this awkward place for a while. It gets better, I promise.


You should cook some stuff ahead of time, or at least prep it up for cooking. Having to shop every night is ridiculous- just plan it better. Most people don't have time to cook from scratch every night, but you can come close if you make an effort. What kind of food do you like? What kind of storage do you have available?


The internship sounds like a lot of fun and a good opportunity, and you won't have that chance again once you start work. When do you actually have to make this decision?


Yeah, you've got to let that one go for now. You can't plan this today- you don't have enough of the information you'll need to make a decision (like who the father is going to be and where you'll live, etc.) Just saying "I want kids someday" is enough at this stage.

Thanx for the reply I guess the problem here is that I'm not making huge efforts to get to know people: I know I will be leaving again around september or october so becoming good friends with someone is pretty useless. I've noticed before that friendships fade away quickly once one has moved...

I have a refrigerator, I shop twice a week mostly. I'm a vegetarian, so it's lot's of vegetables and nuts and I love pasta I can store some things, but no longer than a week or so.

As for the internship, I should decide pretty quickly. If I decide to outside the European Union, to the US or something, I need a visum and things.. Those need time to apply for... But I'm afraid I'll get homesick or something If only there was a way to know beforehand how the guidance and the people "there" are, it would be way easier to decide...

[Gigabitch]

Well, we'd all like to be able to see the future, wouldn't we? I think you should apply for all the travel docs you would need to go abroad, just to have them. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.