im 15 years old help!

[Gigabitch]

Did the regulars on this forum play it safe and not put their hearts into it in their first few relationships, because it was statistically unlikely to work out?.

At 13, I was going bowling in groups. That was the extent of my dating experience. Oh, and I let a guy named David hold my hand for a day and call me his girlfriend.

At 13 I still had the heart of a child so it was unavailable for investment in a serious relationship. I didn't fall in love for real until I was about 22.

I find it hard to take puppy love like this seriously. I know it seems serious at the time to the people involved, but I have a wider perspective. I also can't help thinking about the fact that Romeo and Juliet were 13. Look what happened to them.

[Jay T]

I think we got way off topic...

But Fred, you're only 15 and I seriously doubt you're actually feeling true love towards this girl, but that's not for me to judge and that's besides the point I'm trying to make.

15 is a young age, you have your whole life ahead of you, you have high school and then even college, then your job out of that. That's a lot of women to meet on the way, who's to say your tastes won't change?

What you argue about at 15 years of age is beyond me, enjoy this girl while she lasts, but like I said: don't worry about it because you have many many more years to come.

[Tiay]

yeah, I agree, it's too early. Heck, I didn't hold hands till I was 18.

But you know what? We have no real power over the situation. We are not either of these kids parents. And if our advice is "you're not really in love you're way too young", the OP is simply going to ignore us, and anything else we might have to say.

I personally think 13 is too early. Not too early to hold hands or go see a movie or something, but that's basically just a friendship with a cool name (ie "boy/girlfriend").

But yes, too early for a serious, in-love kind of relationship. But I believe that early teens can and do feel thing strongly. I can't dismiss that, even if I think it's too early.

So, fredettelover, if you are still reading this;

so you two have been going together for more than half a year. The more you know someone, the more you know how to push their buttons.. how to annoy them. Especially if you're used to acting that way with siblings, it can be an automatic kind of thing, even if you don't actually want to annoy each other.

The best thing is to think back on the arguments and work out what happened there. Why were you upset or why was she upset?

Arguments are actually good for a relationship. Why? Because you're taking something that stands between you - like different taste in music or whatever - and you come to a conclusion that actually brings you closer together.

Here's how to argue: Listen. Listen to what she is saying. Then say "so what you are saying is that ______" and fill in what you think she said.

This sounds really simple I know. But I'm really not patronising you, this is a good exercise for anyone in a relationship.

Because quite often, arguments are based on misunderstandings. And if what you think she said, and what she actually meant, are different things, you'll notice it by doing that

Listening also involves asking her to clarify what she means, so that you can totally understand her point of view and why she feels that way, even if you don't agree.

And then, it is her turn hear you out about why you disagree.

Don't get too personal, and don't use words like "always" and "never".

Don't say "You ALWAYS do this!", say "when you do this this, it makes me feel bad because _____"

That way, she can understand your point of view and your reason for being upset.


So yes, arguments are a natural, healthy part of any relationship... but ONLY if the arguments are not violent, not angry, not shouty or irrelevant. After a good, healthy argument, you should feel like you have resolved something, and that you are actually closer together now.

[Tommy]

If she back talks, just smack her.... That always make love last!

[Tiay]

and ignore Tommy, who is an idiot for albeit jokingly imparting the notion of domestic violence on the mind of a teenager.

shame on you.

[Tommy]

and ignore Tommy, who is an idiot for albeit jokingly imparting the notion of domestic violence on the mind of a teenager.

shame on you.

I agree 100%!!!



In all seriousness. Fighting in alot of cases is actually healthy for a relationship. It can bring forward hurt feelings or problems that may become an issue down the road. If you can find out the reason "why" the fights start and or what caused them, then you 2 can work together on a way to either alter your/hers behaviours to make your relationship stronger....

Communication is key, young man. As a male I know how hard it is to listen at times, but really listen and take to heart her feelings and what she is trying to portray. I hope she will do the same with you.

[Lozenger]

Well my mums friends met at 13, got together at 13 and have been together ever since and now they are in their late 40s.

Communication is a key factor in relationships and so when she does something that upsets you or vice versa, makesure you let her know why you are upset. If you argue, try not to shout and try to understand eachothers point of view. Be there for one another and give her compliment to, she'll love it!
Hope things work out for you

X

[Illusional]

when i was 15 i was too busy spending all my time in the library trying to read the entire dictionary.

raverboy