Women getting married to younger guy

[vashti]

My husband asked me to sign a prenup on the advice of his attorney and accountant. I refused. I agree with squirrley that it would be wrong to take that which I wasn't entitled to. In the end, my husband decided to trust me, and I think that was a smart gamble on his part. He had to trust that I am a person of good moral character who wouldn't take that which I wasn't entitled to, and I had to trust he is person of good moral character who wouldn't present me with such extreme circustances that a divorce would be necessary (I personally don't really approve of divorce except under extreme circumstances). had he insisted on the prenup, I definitely would have walked.

EDIT: after we married, we got rid of the accountant.

[IndiReloaded]

If you have assets to lose why wouldn't you get a prenup? Anyone who's smart enough to amass some measure of wealth ought to be smart enough to see that marriages often end in failure and love is anything but eternal. There's no surer path to divorce than marrying for love and emotion.

I don't have a problem with prenupts, I think we've discussed this before. Mistakes do happen & ppl can be deceitful.

Its funny how those who seem to be most versed in these things neglect to mention the various possibilities....

Anyway, like everything in life, even prenupts are flexible.

If I ever (knock on wood) were to marry another man, I'd probably suggest, for both our sakes, we sign an expiring prenupt. I think they are called 'wind downs' or 'sun downs' or something. The basic idea is that, after you've been together a certain amount of time (10, 20 years, whatever), the original prenupt dissolves.

If you are married to someone for that length of time & you aren't willing to share your assets and all the rest of your life by then, you shouldn't be together anyway. And I'm no lawyer but I'd bet, legally, that prenupts lose their 'oomph' after that many years have passed.

[Junket]

Regardless of whether you think so or not, prenups are dooming the marriage to failure. You're basically saying that you don't think the marriage will last forever so you want to cover your ass just in case. It's sad that divorce is so common nowadays.

I'm hoping that when I finally get married, she and I won't be divorcing. And no, there won't be a prenup.

I like the idea of a pre-nup.

It's a win-win.

If things go well, nobody has anything to worry about.

If things go sour, nobody has anything to worry about.

[Gribble]

Marriage is the first step toward divorce.

[Mish]

I think if I marry, I would want to spend money on her and give her half if divorce was to happen.

Because, she'll have to be pretty damn special and pass a lot of tests for me to marry her in the first place.

[lesa]

I am not sure...I thought maybe prenups were a good idea. It depends on what we have. Like Mishanya said, the SO has to pass many tests before I marry them..guess that is why I am not married.

[Mish]

Like Mishanya said, the SO has to pass many tests before I marry them..guess that is why I am not married.

No Lesa, that's a good thing. Why would you want to marry someone who doesn't qualify? I'd rather leave alone for the rest of my life, then be imprisoned with some kind of a monster.

[GrkScorp]

I like the idea of a pre-nup.

It's a win-win.

If things go well, nobody has anything to worry about.

If things go sour, nobody has anything to worry about.

Exactly..

If you're still married and never wind up in a divorce.., then it's as if the prenup doesn't even exist..

If you get divorced.., you both already agreed ahead of time what you both consider to be a "fair" way to settle and move on with your own separate lives..

I like what a friend of mine has to say about it..

"Prenupts are to marriage.., what Marriage is to romance"

If it's an excuse of "love & trust".., then take my word that i'll stand by your side and never leave you.., but if that's not good enough.., and you want a piece of paper and the law holding us together.., then don't be a hypocrite.., and sign the prenup..

The fact of the matter is.., it's a business deal.., in addition to everything else.., it has legal consequences and the risk of serious financial losses which (when you do the research on not just who initiates divorces.., but who is favored in divorces in terms of primary custody & alimony.., you better believe that i'm looking to hedge that risk ahead of time) can leave one spouse financially crippled..

The prenup however.., ironically.., is only one of many tools in your line of defense against a divorce.., and may I add.., the weakest one..

You can get married without a prenup.., own your home prior to getting married.., and put all investment properties.., investments.., and earning assets.., into an irrevocable trust..

I can just picture it now.., a quiet romantic evening.., just the two of you.., next to each other.., talking about how happy you are to be married.., how well your life is going.., how much you love each other.., and then you mention.., "honey.., dear.., you know this house.., the cars.., all the properties.., investments...., I don't actually own any of them.., that's right.., except for the house we live in.., nothing else is really in my name.., I just have the rights to collect any income those assets produce.., so.., hypothetically.., if we were to ever get divorced.., you would get absolutely nothing.., (slap) ouch! what was that for?"

[Mish]

I also heard some people put their assets under their parents name for at least first ten years of marriage as insurance policy.

[Kromat]

I also heard some people put their assets under their parents name for at least first ten years of marriage as insurance policy.

10 years is a long time to live with someone that you don't love.
Money shouldn't be their only desire to go over them.

[Mish]

10 years is a long time to live with someone that you don't love.
Money shouldn't be their only desire to go over them.

Ofcourse they love their partner. They do it as insurance policy. Love doesn't always protect you from unpredictabilities. And 10 years time is ussually enough time to weed out most of the differences. The divorce rate shrinks considerbaly for people over the 10 year mark.

[clearskies]

Cain, sometimes u may hold an official agreement with ur parnter but when troubles happen only paper talk. I mean only official papers should exist and anything else that was not authorised or put in an official form will have no solid grounds.
Let me explain more, my ex and i had a mortgage in the UK in our names... he was jobless for a year and i kept paying on his part. He evern cancelled the direct debit on his account . When the house was sold, I got only the half of it and never been paid the half of that year i paid in full on my own. Suprisingly, I paid my solicitor soemthing like 800 £ to argue the case since banks statement were on my side but it did not work out.
So how could you calculate your assets in a marriage? not an easy job at all.

[squirrley]

But it is an easy job if you know what youre doing and you PREPARE for anything. The bottom line is you have to be smart. Not just in love but frak'n smart!

[clearskies]

You are right squirrely but i didnt expect the unexpected or couldnt tell what the future might bring... but now experience is there and i should be prepared not to repeat the same mistakes again.

[squirrley]

Exactly. In the moment you do things out of emotions, you obviously didn't want to lose the house so you did what was necessary. But NOW you know. We have to learn from our experiences but also listen to those of experiences too. People who have been there, etc. It's not just about love, and like Gsk said, it is like a business transaction, it sucks to say it, but today you HAVE to protect YOURSELF!!!!!!