What should I do?

[Spika]

Hi everyone.
I want to tell you my story. I met one guy at my work (I'm a Financial analyst), so at first sight I didn't like him at all.... But two weeks later I have understood, that have fallen in love.. At the same time he started to render me signs on attention. They were so obviously, looks like everyone in the office understood what between us occurs. So... almost one month we were hang up by this situation. And one evening he called me and invited for a dating. It was a great fun time, and I liked him even more.
But he was married. I didn't know that fact, so I was surprised very much!!! Anyway, I like him. I think, I can say, that I love him... But I do not wish to suffer his wife. Now he wants to divorce, but he scares. He get married at the age of 21, and now he regrets for it. I know that he likes me, and I like him, but I don't want to be "number 2"...

What should I do?
I don't

[snoz]

Sensitive issue really. I know attraction can't be helped but my advice is to steer clear of this married man.

Example, my friend who's 30 started flirting for fun with my other friend who's 21 and they started falling for each other. It was all fun while it lasted since they didn't believe anything would happen until the 30 year old divorced his wife. At that point my 21 year old friend felt so bad that she just couldn't continue or go through with it. Now the 30 year old friend is thinking about the mistake he made, realises he does in fact love his wife but can't have her back.

I don't know, I understand the feeling behind wanting someone you know you shouldn't or can't have, seemingly you were made for each other but you just have to let it go and admit, the timing and the situation just isn't right.

[clino318is]

I would try to stay away from him. You don't know how many girls his done this to. And there's always 1 person that ends up getting there heart broken. In most cases it's going to be the you or the person in your situation. Because at the end of the day he has someone to go home to and can forget about you easy. This is what one of my very good friends brother does quite often. All he wants I sex! He promiceses he'll leave his wife but when he gets what he wants he dumps his "so called lover" like a tonne of bricks. Please just watch out if you deside to keep seeing him.

[Spika]

I would try to stay away from him. You don't know how many girls his done this to. And there's always 1 person that ends up getting there heart broken. In most cases it's going to be the you or the person in your situation. Because at the end of the day he has someone to go home to and can forget about you easy. This is what one of my very good friends brother does quite often. All he wants I sex! He promiceses he'll leave his wife but when he gets what he wants he dumps his "so called lover" like a tonne of bricks. Please just watch out if you deside to keep seeing him.

No. My guy is quite shy and "fluffy" . His wife older that he, and they have problems since they've got married. She often calls him "looser", I've heard it by my ears.. She is rather shitty, but I don't think, that it's too bad. She changed to him, and he knew about it.
I should say, that he is not so popular among women, and I think, he got married to prove to anybody, that he costs for something.

Maybe it's simply pity... certainly....

[IndiReloaded]

Find someone unattached. You are just responding to his attention. Guy sounds like a bit of an ass to me, actually. He doesn't love you, he's just looking for some side action.

As for his wife, remember there are two sides to every story and the truth is usually someplace in the middle. For all YOU know, the reason she calls this guy loser is b/c he tries to date other women while he is married. And how do you know she does this, except that's what he has told you--big sob story, sounds like to me.

Anyway, think about it & remember the golden rule: if they'll do it to him/her, then they'll do it to you.

[Gigabitch]

Absolutely. ^^^ He's a cheater. That makes him a loser in my book.

[Spika]

Absolutely. ^^^ He's a cheater. That makes him a loser in my book.

Well... Indeed I agree with you... It's my emotions only don't want to believe it.

2 IndiReloaded:

His wife calls him loser, because she wants him to be loser.. Yeah, it's true. He was fired three times over the year, bcause he was betrayed by his friends... But he always forgives them. She becomes irritated because of it, and that's why she calls him loser. But I'm not saing, that he needs help or somebody who'd save him.. Me and his wife know for each other.

He is just he.. Not very pretty, not very honest. Obviously.

[1averagejoe]

So other than an emotional attraction to this guy...what do you see in him?

He's willing to cheat on his wife, what's keeping him from doing the same to you when he finds someone better? He won't change. He's a loser.

[Spika]

He's willing to cheat on his wife, what's keeping him from doing the same to you when he finds someone better? He won't change. He's a loser.

I clearly understand, that he won't change. Moreover, I know, that he would bring a lot of pain for me, if we were together. I feel, I'm going circle on it, BUT I PINE FOR HIM ANYWAY...

So other than an emotional attraction to this guy...what do you see in him?

He's kind and rather charming. We share a lot of interests... And in general, he looks like me.. He's very nice..