Is it really that hard?

[Mish]

No,don't get me wrong.
I believe strongly that the moment you court or date a person,it should be work towards marriage and what more than to build it on the foundation of commitment.
I was in the midst of lesson and so perhaps didn't made myself clear.
I wanted to say that,marriage is an offical declaration.It's a publically announcement made that signify the proudness and joy to have that lady as a Gift from God.
Let's be real frank,ladies needs assurance from time to time.No,I'm not saying feeding those needy dysfunctional ones,but rather,assuring her that she is still cherished.
A marriage isn't a piece of paper.It's a promise made public.

A marriage IS a piece of paper. The promise is a relationship and commitment that gets established between two people when they decide to be together. The marriage does not "enhance" commtiment. It doesn't improve what's already there. It's ussually people who get married thinking that their commtiment to this person will somehow be enhanced are the ones who end up in divorce. Two people who are in love and are already commited to each other don't need any more "commtiment enhancements" to love each other a little better. And if they do they are clearly not suited for each other.

Role of marriage as I see it is to provide legal status for two people and establish them as legal guardians for their children. This is when two people should get married, when they are ready to establish a family together. They don't and never will need it to "enhance" their love.

[ecojeanne]

Role of marriage as I see it is to provide legal status for two people and establish them as legal guardians for their children. This is when two people should get married, when they are ready to establish a family together. They don't and never will need it to "enhance" their love.

i completely agree with this comment

[Junket]

No,don't get me wrong.
I believe strongly that the moment you court or date a person,it should be work towards marriage and what more than to build it on the foundation of commitment.
I was in the midst of lesson and so perhaps didn't made myself clear.
I wanted to say that,marriage is an offical declaration.It's a publically announcement made that signify the proudness and joy to have that lady as a Gift from God.
Let's be real frank,ladies needs assurance from time to time.No,I'm not saying feeding those needy dysfunctional ones,but rather,assuring her that she is still cherished.
A marriage isn't a piece of paper.It's a promise made public.

God has no place in LF.

In any case, Mish has been nothin' but true with his words, just because you don't like what he has to say doesn't mean it ain't true.

How strong do you intend to be in this relationship? Sounds to me like you're ready to pull his weight too. I had a friend that you remind me a bit of. She had a long distance with him, then even when she moved closer to him it was still off/on. And the only reason why she really felt like she should continue was to try to justify the time spent until that point, regardless of the quality.

You need to set yourself a limit, at which point you cut your losses and leave him.

he has good intentions but do thoughts really count even if they're never acted upon?

Well lets see" What if I thought about doing something nice for my girlfriend today, but I figured I'd play another 3 hours of videogames instead. But the thought still counts, right??

[dogmax]

Everyone else said what I was going to say. But atleast tell your boyfriend how you feel. You must let him know, if you marry you'll end up boring your ass to hell/heaven (wherever you belong xD haha you've got to be funny sometimes ).
You don't have to leave him, but tell him how much it really bugs you and maybe, he'll change if not.. well then i really don't know.. :/

[GreatShamanGT]

Hey Heartstruth,

I definitely know you're feeling flustered right now because of this relationship problem. So I just want to tell you to lean back and take a great big breath.

Is your heart pounding waiting for my advice or any of the other advice that people are about to give you?


Ok, first things first.
Have you talked to him about your financial problems? Have you talked to him about your love life? Have you talked to him about staying around more? Ask yourself these questions first. Think long and hard about them. Then ask yourself these questions:

Do I really love him? Am I ready for marriage? Am I ready for the next stage of my life? Is he the one? Think through these questions thoroughly.

Honestly, no one's advice can actually help you. You have to find what's really right for you and what's truly your match.

If your heart was pounding when you read this, then I think you really love him.

My opinion is: you should talk with him again and tell him how you feel. Upon the climax of your story telling, or the end of your conversation, tell him what you feel. That you want to be with him, that you want someone to love you back and to care for you (if that's truly what you want). Also, tell him that you moved in with him in order to be with him, and not to be alone.

You need to make him feel for you.

If all this fails, then you need to give him 2 choices:
1. For you to love him
2. For you to leave him

Hope all this helps. I'm not really an expert, but these are my thoughts. ; )

[Junket]

Is your heart pounding waiting for my advice or any of the other advice that people are about to give you?

Are you kidding me?