No sex...

[Indignant]

I agree with this, ONCE he's been checked out by a doc. He's probably at the age where he needs his prostate examined & blood work done.

And to whoever said its his body he can do what he likes, that is the most irresponsible thing I've ever read. This man is married, he has a responsibility to his wife to not just keep her happy sexually, but make sure he is healthy. They might even have kids, so his health matters. Stupid post, that was.

my boy is only 32

[Lite]

It can be psychological, or physical. It looks like she said pills were already tried. Were they prescription pills, or "male enhancement" pills that are shilled on TV?

For all we know, the man is gay, or emotionally traumatized, or just doesn't find the woman attractive anymore. Really we need more information to make a determination as to what you should/could recommend.

However as has already been stated, he's the only person that can help himself. The best you can do is point out that his issue is seriously affecting the relationship, and that it will eventually do long-term harm to it.

[Asparagoose]

Not only would it be interesting... but it could be a very likely culprit. Never understood not wanting sex or denying a guy... but that could be because I can't deny myself either. If I were with someone that did not want it or denied it from me... I could definitely see how I would eventually lose the desire due to psychological pressures.

It seems more myth than reality. It's like talking about guys who beat their girlfriends or wives. Sure it happens, but it doesn't really happen that often, but because it's so horrible we blow it out of proportion.

The reason I said that is because I was reading an article about passive aggressive husbands who withhold sex from their wives. The women who don't cheat or leave, just internalize it, grow bitter and resentful towards their husband, and lose almost all interest in sex. Then when they undergo couple's therapy, they discover that the desire for sex is forever gone. So that the husband who is no longer withholding sex, finds that his wife has completely lost all interest in sex.

To the OP, it's possible though I don't know how likely, that in some previous relationship, he may have dealt with someone who kept emotional/relationship issues bottled up and expressed her anger through sex. One thing is clear though, you both have to go and speak to a professional about this. These aren't bogus professions, and I don't think it would be a waste of time and money to seriously go and speak to someone.

[Lite]

I don't know that it isn't that they don't want sex anymore. Just not sex from with that particular individual.

[vashti]

The guy's had a four year "break" from sex, and has erectile problems since the beginning. I doubt very much the problem is his partner.

[Asparagoose]

Not his current partner, but perhaps a previous one he's not telling her about.

[Lite]

The guy's had a four year "break" from sex, and has erectile problems since the beginning. I doubt very much the problem is his partner.

Heh, I have a long list of things a woman can do to kill an erection immediately. Like, utter anything that could be answered on Jeopardy with, "What are things you might hear in a trailer park Alex."

[vashti]

sorry guys; it happens. A lot.



Prevalance of Impotence: 30 million men (NIDDK)
Prevalance Rate: approx 1 in 9 or 11.03% or 30 million people in USA [about data]
Incidence (annual) of Impotence: 617,715 new cases
Incidence Rate: approx 1 in 440 or 0.23% or 617,714 people in USA [about data]
Incidence extrapolations for USA for Impotence: 617,714 per year, 51,476 per month, 11,879 per week, 1,692 per day, 70 per hour, 1 per minute, 0 per second.


[url]http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/i/impotence/stats.htm[/url]

[misombra]

it's natures way of saying, "quit reproducing your parasitic selves!"

[DoesntMatter]

That's not what natures telling me misombra

[Lite]

it's natures way of saying, "quit reproducing your parasitic selves!"

Actually, what it usually says to me is, "You're not someone I want to be sleeping with."

[Chloe Fleur]

Hey, I thank you all, guys, for your replies.

Aeradalia, maybe you're right, I just need to give him a break. I may be a bit overexcited when i'm near him, he's told me a few times, that it scares him a little. He still wants to satisfy me in other ways, even if he can't do it with his body...

Tedel, no he's not religious.

Ms.Cruise, he doesn't have a diabetis.

Indignant, i don't think that viagra is the only soltion. it's temporary...

Cbrider, he's not on any heavy pills. Just some men's vitamins.

IndiReloaded, he said he'd go to a doctor only if absolutely nothing else helps.

vashti, we,ve been married for less than two months and live together for half a year. i'm not concerned about him not having sex for 4 years, because i've started my sexual life only with him, at the age of 26, because i was searching for my one-man. he's been searching for his only woman, too.


Do you think that physical exercises may help this? Like him going to a gym regulary?

[vashti]

Wow, you are younger than I thought. I think he should see a doctor. I don't think lack of exercise is his problem, unless he is severely obese and has diabetes. And really, waiting four years as an already-sexually active adult is extremely unusual for a person with a normal sex drive. It's a different story for a virgin who is waiting for their one true love. I think he may have used the "waiting for the right girl" as a way to dismiss his lack of interest.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, first of all, he can't satisfy you with his dick. What about the rest of him? I assume the rest of his body is still working. I don't know how sexually conservative you are, so I won't go into great detail, but suffice it to say, there are plenty of things he could be doing.

Misombra's original point that the real problem here is his unwillingness to address the problem is something I am in total agreement with. Nobody expects the beginning of a marriage to be totally smooth and easy, but both people have to be 100% committed to doing whatever it takes to make it work or it just won't, and sex is a large part of marriage.

I hope you talked this issue through at least a little bit before you got married. If not, I think you have grounds to be absolutely furious about him presenting himself as something he's not. A marriage proposal implies sex.

[Lite]

Offer to buy him a strap-on until he becomes man enough to go to the dr/therapist and gets this addressed... Or tape some Popsicle sticks to his cock as a splint.

Tongue-in-cheek yes, but it's on him to fix this. Not you.