you wanna know the truth? There's absolutely nothing anyone on here or myself can tell you that will make you feel better other than momentarily. Just give yourself time and lots of it, i know how it feels to not be able to talk to anyone. Lonely as hell...it sucks i know. I know it sounds mean but i'd suggest kicking her out of your place even though that'll be really hard for you since you care about her so much....But she doesn't deserve you obviously, a bit selfish and you don't need that in your life. And it's hard to believe but just look at what she's doing to you right now, you're here miserable while she's off doing her own thing?