i met this guy like a week ago, and i think i like him alot. we got connected, we texted many times, i feel like he might like me too. But today i just found out that he already has a gf (i asked my neighbour, and tried to get his info from friendster, and i got their pics together, the girl's name is Monique....she lives far away from the town that we live in. He didn't mention her before, and i wouldn't blame him cos i didn't ask either. i just feel so bad now...i asked him directly after i found out about it, and he just said "yes", and talked about something else, like it doesn't matter. he's kinda avoiding that topic somehow...btw...i saw the girl's pic, and i'm surprised cos she looks so much like me!!!!! i'd say about 80% similar...the difference is that girl lives far away, and i live here in his town. The first time we texted, he asked me which town i'd stay "forever", and ofcourse i said here (where he is too), and he seems happy about it. Now i'm confused...should i just get rid of this feeling, or keep pursuing him (where surely there's possibility for us to be together) ? i dont know whether he still loves her, or not. i can't ask him that question so soon now...since i just met him not so long ago. it's too personal question, to be asked this soon, dont u think? any suggestion??? thank u guys...
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Thread: OMG...he already has a GF !!!
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05-01-09, 10:10 PM #1
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OMG...he already has a GF !!!
when there is no more words left to say. when tears have no more meaning, what would u do?
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05-01-09, 10:26 PM #2
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My suggestion, would be get rid of the feeling, when it comes to taken people, I usually step far away...
Anyhow if you decide to continue to pursue him... I'd say it may be better to let your intentions known sooner rather than later.
If he says hes into you, but not willing to break off his older ties, don't accept that! Its not worth being someone strung along on the side... <_<
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05-01-09, 10:28 PM #3
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Find someone who isn't taken.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
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05-01-09, 11:13 PM #4
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the thing is, finding "someone" in my town is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO difficult. see...my town is a small town, not many "choices" here. Sure if i want to find just anybody i won't brag about this so much... see...in my family, my parents have a set "rules" for me to STRICTLY follow i.e: from a good (and yes...rich) family, well educated, good looking, and stuff like that. as for me, i also have my own rule: i have to like the guy VERY much, or else i won't look, no matter how the guy completes my parent's "rules". call me stupid or childish if u wish, i don't care, but it is what it is. I'm raised in this family and there's no way i'm interested in breaking their rules for any reasons, Vice versa for my parents. So i have to follow my parent's rules, but so do they. we made this deal ages ago. it is what makes it so damn hard. and there i was, found the boy i like, and this happens. i dont need this drama. i've been single for a long time, and when i met him i really feel like i finally meet the guy that satisfy both my parents requirement and mine.
so yes, i'm upset and dissapointed that he actually already has a gf. there's a mean thought i had in my head which i'm not so proud of: as his gf lives far away in the big city, couldn't she just get someone else there? isn't that better to have a close distance relationship than LDR? and let this guy be mine, it's fair and good for all of us. but in the other hand i dont know how much they love each other....what if they love each other so deeply? wouldn't i be the evil one here?? but sometimes i thought: this guy seems to be interested with me, we live in the same city, and we have so much in common, doesnt that tells us that we're supposed to be together? rrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh......so confusing. what if he's already thinking abt breaking up with that girl because of the distance thingy, and thinking about being with me? that's possible, right???? oh i dont know...i'm going nuts here. i dont wanna be evil, but i dont wanna lose my opportunity either cos he is a GOOD catch. see what i mean?Last edited by pinkpuca84; 05-01-09 at 11:19 PM.
when there is no more words left to say. when tears have no more meaning, what would u do?
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05-01-09, 11:16 PM #5
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Yea, thats a great reason for trying to steal someone elses BF/GF.
Originally Posted by pinkpuca84
If this happens, it will happen to you.
Find someone single. Have fun. Mbe he becomes available sometime but not because of anything you do. If you stir the pot you will pay for it. Someone will do it to you, that's what happens with these things.Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
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05-01-09, 11:23 PM #6
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well..if u put it that way...haha...yeah...i guess u're right
when there is no more words left to say. when tears have no more meaning, what would u do?
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05-01-09, 11:37 PM #7
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Indie has it right I think. I mentioned earlier you have 2 options give up or pursue. If the guy is willing to leave his gf for a more convenient girl, then the same can just as likely happen to you (karmas a bitch in that sense :p)
And in relation to what you said, his gf may live far away in a big city.. where she could get a new guy, but she shouldn't have to. Its actually kind of not all fair for everyone, sorry :p
How old are you? You said its difficult to find anyone in your town, will you be planning on going to college? If your past college education, then why not move?
And btw that rule you have set for yourself is not childish, many people don't want to pursue people they are not REALLY interested in.
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05-01-09, 11:57 PM #8
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She should not pursue it AT ALL. She needs to back off. How would you like if when you're in a relationship with this guy, or anyone for that matter, and this chick comes along tryin to break you guys up? I'm pretty damn sure you would not like it. So why do it? Ever heard "Do unto others what you want done unto thee?"
Plain and simple, back off. He is NOT available. Even if it is hard to find someone, it doesnt give you a right to try and get with someone who is taken, no matter how sad or unhappy they are in their relationship...::.*Love is giving someone the ability to break your heart but trusting them not to*.::..
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05-01-09, 11:58 PM #9
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thanks Tooya, i'm 24 yrs old...going on 25 next year. I dont think i'll be going out from my town anytime soon, cos this is where i have my job and family. I'm not thinking abt going to bigger cities just to find a guy. i prefer here, actually...so there...it's even harder. about that karma thing...i guess u're 100% right...if he leaves his gf and choose me for convinience i dont think i would want that at all. so in the mean time i just have to swallow my feeling, and let the time take care my destiny. God knows what's best, and everything has it's own time, i suppose...i'm just feeling down now...that's all...but not so bad...i've been worse before. this is life, huh?
when there is no more words left to say. when tears have no more meaning, what would u do?
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06-01-09, 12:15 AM #10
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Well, it's really up to you. If you have no problem with getting involved with someone who has a gf, go for it. If you do have a problem with that, step away. Just know that if you take the first option you might hurt people and attract trouble to yourself.
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06-01-09, 02:38 PM #11
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Why would you guys even suggest such a thing? You're telling her she can interfere with someone's relationship, that is just wrong. You should tell her to NOT even do it cuz it is ****ed up.
..::.*Love is giving someone the ability to break your heart but trusting them not to*.::..
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06-01-09, 05:11 PM #12
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Meh, shes old enough to make her own decisions. We just laid the the options out there. Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv
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06-01-09, 08:06 PM #13
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Look guys...thanks 4 all ur suggestions..it enlightens me. One thing is for sure: i'm not gonna be the bitch who steals someone else's bf. that's just not me. i can imagine how i would feel if i was in her position, and i swear i'm so gonna voodoo the girl who steals my bf from me...haha...so yeah...i'm certainly not interested enough to put my dignity on the line there. it's just not worthy. Afterall it might just be a huge crush or something...something i get over easily from. i went out for a fresh air today just to clear my head, and i think i'm doing allright...cross my fingers i'm still gonna be allright by tomorow
when there is no more words left to say. when tears have no more meaning, what would u do?
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07-01-09, 12:55 AM #14
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First of all you should respect yourself to not get involved with someone who is supposedly already in a relationship. Secondly you should not respect someone who didn't have the balls to tell you he was in a relationship to begin with. Thirdly you don't want to be the person who breaks up relationships. There's no good karma in that kind of a life.
"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
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07-01-09, 12:57 AM #15
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They aren't married and they don't have kids, correct? He's fair game. Doubly so because the chick lives so far away. Go for it.
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
-Mark Twain
If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein
