For Those Trying To 'Win Someone Back'....

[indian_bull]

i am agree with you blue. feel like adding few things here.
bulding a love relatonship is like building a house. if the foundation pillars are not strong then it wont last long. so the foundation pillars like :trust,understanding,caring and loving has to be there to have a great solid love relation.

another thing is very common in a break up. the reason is we are becoming too much selfish.we are expecting too much from our partner and sometimes it become a part of ego also. we need to understand thats love is not a give n take thing like business. its beyond that. its in giving. no taking. thats true love and thats last long.

Hope you all understand what i mean to say.

cheers

.....OR considering taking someone back......

I feel the need to rant. Listen here broken hearted ones:

If you got out of a relationship for any of the following reasons:

1. You cheated or were cheated on
2. There was verbal/emotional/physical abuse of any kind
3. You broke up with them specifically to date someone else or vice versa

.....then you don't belong together. Move on. Stop whining about it and pining over that person. Because if any of those situations apply to you, either you or them have issues that need to be worked on before entering another relationship, and you CERTAINLY do not belong together. Love doesn't overcome all, and in these situations it certainly shouldn't.

If anyone can think of any other things to add to the list, please feel free.

It just gets pathetic listening to people again and again crying 'How Do I Get Him/Her Back?' when it's RIDICULOUSLY OBVIOUS to even the simple-minded that the relationship wasn't healthy in the first place.

You can't 'fix' other people (see 'Shining Knight Syndrome' thread). You can't convince someone to love you when you've been a douchebag (and they deserve better than you, anyways).

Please think about your situation before you considered posting a thread about your circumstance. If any of the following applies, you're wasting everyone's time and duly deserve royal flamage.

[Lite]

another thing is very common in a break up. the reason is we are becoming too much selfish.

I think I'd like to argue that we're not selfish enough to begin with. That we're so desperate to connect to people in a world where business is conducted via cold emotionless electronic medium instead of face-to-face that we're not holding people to the necessary standards that we should when set set out to find a partner.

Holding people to your standards isn't being selfish. We're not talking about divorcing someone because they bought you a 5 series BMW instead of a 6 here.

[bluesummer]

Okay, for those people that can't handle what I posted because they chose to take it as a personal attack instead of at face value:

Read between the effing lines.

I have no problem with people coming on here to vent. Your ex screwed you over and you want to post that they're a bitch and you're mad, fine. Maybe you still have feelings for them....also understandable. However, from what I've seen most of these people asking how to 'get this person back' fall into either one of two categories:

1. Completely deluded and do not understand that being treated like crap = not worth being in a relationship with. Basically living in fantasy land.
2. Already know that their relationship was awful, but are hoping just one person will post that "Love conquers all" and "If you really love them you should take the steps to help improve your relationship." They take that ONE post, ignore all the others telling them not to go back, and use it as justification for doing what they know is wrong.

Honestly, please don't give me that bs about people being able to work through this stuff. I wasn't talking about two people arguing a lot, or being from different religious backgrounds, or moving away and then finding each other again. I'm quite specifically talking about people just recently getting out of relationships that were mentally or physically harmful. Maybe these people can improve.....years from now, with a lot of counselling. Again, many of you clearly missed the post on 'The Shining Knight Syndrome'. Go read it.

I will help people learn to move on......not to get back into shitty relationships. If you want to post about "How do I move on from a hurtful relationship" (and hey, I've been there!), that's one thing. Telling us you're in love with someone who routinely dumps you for other people makes sense, but it makes no sense to ask us how to get them back.

If you can't figure out the logic behind that.....I just don't how much simpler to make it for you.

[blackzj52]

blue, i agree completely with what ur saying.
but think about the mindset their in at the time, theyr in no shape to be thinking rationally. lol
i know i wasnt atleast.

[Cbrider]

blue, i agree completely with what ur saying.
but think about the mindset their in at the time, theyr in no shape to be thinking rationally. lol
i know i wasnt atleast.

Agreed.

I showed up here in a twisted mindset I vow never to fall back into. We're all human at the core so we're not perfect

[kak]

what if the breakup was not for any of the 1st posts reasons?

[bluesummer]

Then it's a different scenario.

I was talking about abusive, unhealthy relationships.

[DoesntMatter]

Sounds like some WWF wrestler tbh ...........LadieNISHA

Maybe you're thinking of the WCW wrestler Kevin Nash

[swargolet]

what if the breakup was not for any of the 1st posts reasons?

ya Kak most people that are on here trying to win someone back are in the situations listed in the first post.
In general people break-up for a reason and it is likely that if they get back together they will breakup again for the same reason.

Many people will argue that, that is not true and that they learned their lesson but there will almost always be something there that will mess it up. I'd say that 95% of people that get back together dont work out. Take what you learned from the break-up and keep the knowledge for another relationship. Then learn from that relationship and so on....

[starbuck]

Just chiming in a bit late to say, "Well said, Blue".

I second the motion to sticky.

[indian_bull]

Blue you are right. but the those who are strong people they dont need the help. those who are weak menatlly nd cant handle a break up they need help and they we al need to show them path without make them feel bad about their weakness.

Then it's a different scenario.

I was talking about abusive, unhealthy relationships.