wat is in his mind?????friendship or?

[gyatri]

hi, i came 2 met him thru a common frnd 2 yrs back......n we bcame vry close frnds......well hwevr ,he used 2 like somone but dat gal was not responding.i was helping him in winning his love...........n finally he did...... but suddenly in d whole process ,as i got 2 know him hw he thinks n feels abt dat gal.....i started liking him more n more ......but never thot of like falling in love.........dont know....bt i think it is just attraction.......but i started thinking all d time abt him,call him only 2 hear his voice.........but he slowly stopped calling n talking as frequently as earlier........not evn sms ......frwdd ones...........howevr evn thou i felt bad.......missed him soooooo much.........but still didnt say anything coz..i understand he has to gv time 2 his nw personal n professional life....as well. he used 2 flirt wid me ..............n i too ........... however ...............once he said dat........."i feel like i wud fall in love wid u n i feel guilty 4 dat..............coz i feel like m cheating my galfrnd".......... if i wud hv met u earlier ,i wud hv proposed u only........ he evn said dat he sometimes avoids me............ hwevr things were nt goin fine wid his galfrnd.......... she evn used 2 doubt me wid him........... we were so close as frnds dat ,we used 2 share personal matters evn.........n he was there evrtime wid me wenevr i was in need .............. supporting me.........comforting me.cheering me up.......n me 2 d same 4 him........ but one day............. wen i was vry upset.........he was there wid me...........n started cutting nonveg jokes..........said things like "lets go for a picnic.only u n me"........etc 2 wch i took casually n said no..... n suddenly he kissed me on my cheeks...........while talking.......wen i pilled back ,he said come closer...........wat happnd.......... dan after a while again he kissed me on my cheeks..........said u r so soft............. he was riding a bike.........n i was sitting behind..it was quite cold n since i was feeling cold ,he asked me 2 hold him tight wch i did coz i was realy feeling cold.....wen n he said .................suddenly.........".i want 2 feel ur flesh on my skin"....... i was upset ............so was not taking things dat way..........at dat time...........just kept silent........was taking casually............... bt later on ,i felt like.....wat was in his mind.................???????? wen i later on got angry thinking dat he had any wrng intensions............n asked him? he rplyd saying dat it was a joke ...................only...........he said all those only 2 make me happy...........he said all those casually n nothing serious....... m all confused...........m nt convinced ............ bt d pt is..............dat common frnd said......he does cut such joks............. plz help...........n nw he is b having all formal...........i want my frnd back

he asked me several times 2 gv him a hug...but i alyz refused........once or twice he called up n asked me 2talk romatic things wid him.....2 wch i asked him 2 cal his gf n why is he calling me.....he said dat his gf refused 2 talk 2 him ........

[carl1222]

How old are you?

Also, your post is very unreadable. Try to lay off the SMS abbreviations and write in clearer language, it will help you get more responses.

Carl.

[gyatri]

hi, i came 2 met him through a common frnd 2 yrs back......and we became very close friends......well however ,he used 2 like somone but that gal was not responding.i was helping him in winning his love...........n finally he did...... but suddenly in the whole process ,as i got 2 know him how he thinks and feels about that gal.....i started liking him more and more ......but never thought of like falling in love.........dont know....but i think it is just attraction.......but i started thinking all the time about him,call him only 2 hear his voice.........but he slowly stopped calling n talking as frequently as earlier........not even sms ......forwarded ones........... however even though i felt bad.......missed him soooooo much.........but still didnt say anything coz..i understand he has to give time 2 his new personal and professional life....as well. he used 2 flirt with me ..............and i too ........... however ...............once he said dat........."i feel like i would fall in love with u and i feel guilty 4 that..............coz i feel like m cheating my girlfriend".......... if i would have met u earlier ,i would have proposed u only........ he even said that he sometimes avoids me............ however things were not going fine between him & his girlfriend.......... she even used 2 doubt me with him........... we were so close as friends that ,we used 2 share personal matters even.........& he was there everytime with me whenever i was in need .............. supporting me.........comforting me.cheering me up.......n me too the same for him........ but one day............. when i was vry upset.........he was there with me...........& started cutting nonveg jokes..........said things like "lets go for a picnic.only u & me"........etc 2 which i took casually n said no..... & suddenly he kissed me on my cheeks...........while talking.......when i pulled back ,he said come closer...........what happnd.......... than after a while again he kissed me on my cheeks..........said u are so soft............. he was riding a bike.........n i was sitting behind..it was quite cold & since i was feeling cold ,he asked me to hold him tight which i did coz i was really feeling cold.....when & he said .................suddenly.........".i want 2 feel ur flesh on my skin"....... i was upset ............so was not taking things that way..........at that time...........just kept silent........was taking casually............... but later on ,i felt like.....wat was in his mind.................???????? when i later on got angry thinking that he had any wrong intentions............& asked him? he replied saying that it was a joke ...................only...........he said all those only to make me happy...........he said all those casually & nothing serious....... m all confused...........m not convinced ............ but the point is..............that common friend said......he does cut such jokes............. please help...........& now he is behaving all formal...........i want my friend back

he asked me several times 2 give him a hug...but i always refused........once or twice he called up n asked me to talk romantic things with him.....2 which i asked him 2 call his girlfriend & why is he calling me.....he said that his girlfriend refused 2 talk 2 him ........
m 25 yrs and he is 24.

please reply to my question.........someone please!!!!!!!!!

[lovesjoyajm]

Getting closer. Can you get rid of the dots?

Anyway, sounds like he's interested in you and doesn't know his boundaries; that is, he seems to think it's ok to say provocative things (and kiss you on the cheek) without cheating on his girlfriend. He's wrong.

You don't want to hear this, but you can't be friends with him if you have feelings for him. Tell him how you feel and why you need to cut contact.

[carl1222]

That's a little better. If I may summarize for you:

You are 25, he is 24 and you have been friends for 2 years. At first, you didn't have any feelings for him and you even helped fix him up with girls. Later, you developed an attraction for him, but he already had a girlfriend.

You talk all the time as close friends so he tells you about his problems in his relationship. You've flirted with each other, but he isn't comfortable with doing that because it feels like he's cheating on his girlfriend. One day recently you were riding together on his bike and you got physically close because of the cold. But he made some comments about your soft skin and said "I want to feel your flesh on my skin." You took that as a sexual suggestion and got angry. He said he was joking, and his friends say that's the kind of joke he sometimes makes.

Recently, he has asked you to talk romantically because he isn't getting that from his girlfriend.


I agree with Lovesjoyajm. You are a little vague on your level of attraction to him but if it will cause you pain to know you can't be with him romantically, then continuing the friendship will only hurt you.

If he does indeed leave his girlfriend, without your help, you can always rekindle the friendship with an eye toward a new romantic relationship with him after he's been single for several months.

Carl.

[lesa]

please reply to my question.........someone please!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I didn't bother to read it. The way you write makes it difficult to concentrate lol. This is the only sentence I was attentive to read.

[gyatri]

Getting closer. Can you get rid of the dots?

Anyway, sounds like he's interested in you and doesn't know his boundaries; that is, he seems to think it's ok to say provocative things (and kiss you on the cheek) without cheating on his girlfriend. He's wrong.

You don't want to hear this, but you can't be friends with him if you have feelings for him. Tell him how you feel and why you need to cut contact.

thankz for the response.
so you mean to say ,that this guy is not my friend???????real friend and i should cut all contacts with him.what do you think ,he really doesnt know his boundaries or he is trying to take advantage of me.

what is exactly going in his mind?does he even ,ever took me as his friend,or he has just changed with time?

[gyatri]

That's a little better. If I may summarize for you:

You are 25, he is 24 and you have been friends for 2 years. At first, you didn't have any feelings for him and you even helped fix him up with girls. Later, you developed an attraction for him, but he already had a girlfriend.

You talk all the time as close friends so he tells you about his problems in his relationship. You've flirted with each other, but he isn't comfortable with doing that because it feels like he's cheating on his girlfriend. One day recently you were riding together on his bike and you got physically close because of the cold. But he made some comments about your soft skin and said "I want to feel your flesh on my skin." You took that as a sexual suggestion and got angry. He said he was joking, and his friends say that's the kind of joke he sometimes makes.

Recently, he has asked you to talk romantically because he isn't getting that from his girlfriend.


I agree with Lovesjoyajm. You are a little vague on your level of attraction to him but if it will cause you pain to know you can't be with him romantically, then continuing the friendship will only hurt you.

If he does indeed leave his girlfriend, without your help, you can always rekindle the friendship with an eye toward a new romantic relationship with him after he's been single for several months.

Carl.

thanks for your response and for you summarized it right.but only difference is that,everything happened earlier to that day,when he behaved in a different way,passed those provocative words and comments and we had a fight after that.also,he was never uncomfortable flirting coz that he does with everyother girl.

what do you mean to say by "You are a little vague on your level of attraction to him"?can you please clarify...,coz m confused about my own feelings itself......

also how can i be romantic with him,he already have a girlfriend and m not.

i would again like to ask you the same question now ,that i have to "lovesjoyajm"

[gyatri]

hi, i came 2 met him through a common frnd 2 yrs back......and we became very close friends......well however ,he used 2 like somone but that gal was not responding.i was helping him in winning his love...........n finally he did...... but suddenly in the whole process ,as i got 2 know him how he thinks and feels about that gal.....i started liking him more and more ......but never thought of like falling in love.........dont know....but i think it is just attraction.......but i started thinking all the time about him,call him only 2 hear his voice.........but he slowly stopped calling n talking as frequently as earlier........not even sms ......forwarded ones........... however even though i felt bad.......missed him soooooo much.........but still didnt say anything coz..i understand he has to give time 2 his new personal and professional life....as well. he used 2 flirt with me ..............and i too ........... however ...............once he said dat........."i feel like i would fall in love with u and i feel guilty 4 that..............coz i feel like m cheating my girlfriend".......... if i would have met u earlier ,i would have proposed u only........ he even said that he sometimes avoids me............ however things were not going fine between him & his girlfriend.......... she even used 2 doubt me with him........... we were so close as friends that ,we used 2 share personal matters even.........& he was there everytime with me whenever i was in need .............. supporting me.........comforting me.cheering me up.......n me too the same for him........ but one day............. when i was vry upset.........he was there with me...........& started cutting nonveg jokes..........said things like "lets go for a picnic.only u & me"........etc 2 which i took casually n said no..... & suddenly he kissed me on my cheeks...........while talking.......when i pulled back ,he said come closer...........what happnd.......... than after a while again he kissed me on my cheeks..........said u are so soft............. he was riding a bike.........n i was sitting behind..it was quite cold & since i was feeling cold ,he asked me to hold him tight which i did coz i was really feeling cold.....when & he said .................suddenly.........".i want 2 feel ur flesh on my skin"....... i was upset ............so was not taking things that way..........at that time...........just kept silent........was taking casually............... but later on ,i felt like.....wat was in his mind.................???????? when i later on got angry thinking that he had any wrong intentions............& asked him? he replied saying that it was a joke ...................only...........he said all those only to make me happy...........he said all those casually & nothing serious....... m all confused...........m not convinced ............ but the point is..............that common friend said......he does cut such jokes............. please help...........& now he is behaving all formal...........i want my friend back

he asked me several times 2 give him a hug...but i always refused........once or twice he called up n asked me to talk romantic things with him.....2 which i asked him 2 call his girlfriend & why is he calling me.....he said that his girlfriend refused 2 talk 2 him ........
m 25 yrs and he is 24.

please reply to my question.........someone please!!!!!!!!!

hi all, i wrote to this forum in Feb,with my problem with this guy-friend of mine. i would request you to please ,go through the above.

i did ended up the friendship by cutting of all kind of contacts with him, two months back. But now two months later,he called me up & said------"can we start from the beginning,b'coz i dont want to lose any more friends...,& if you can forgive me". I replied to him just saying,i dont know,b'coz i realy didnt know ,wat to do?? & disconnected the call. once again ,m all confused. why is he coming back to me now??what is in his mind ??has he realised his mistake or this is another new trap for me. one of my friends says--he has a crush on me/may be he loves me & he himself doesnt know this fact. But,if that would have been the case,than "Why did he left me to die & cry,at that point of time"??? i am all confused,should i just ignore him Or should i give him one more chance & just forget all the past. Please Help me!!

[soulsurvivor23]

Why did he leave you to die and cry??? Huh?? Didn't you say that you cut off all contact with him and not the other way around?