Not sure if you have read my previous posts but a short recap: First loves, going out since high school, attended same college, together 4 1/2 years, lived at my house for the last 3 years. She's now 20 and I am 22. She said she needed time and space a little over 2 months ago. At first I begged and pleaded and nothing got accomplished. So I decided to do NC. Had NC for about 4 weeks. She called me here and there but I never answered. Finally about a week ago she kept calling me. I had been feeling much better so I contacted her back. She sounded so happy to hear from me and said she wanted to meet up and see me. So last monday I meet up with her and she is all over me. Hugging me, saying how much she missed me, we go so well together, etc..... She told me that she feels so comfortable and naturdal around me and that we have a special bond being each other's first true love and for me being her first for everything. So that night is good and I just played it off. Next day she calls me like 2 times just to talk, next day i see her quick and she says again how much she misses me, etc... Next day same thing. She says she wants to be friends and hang out and stuff. I'm like not sure if I can do that yet. I asked her what do you mean hang out. She says "you know, go to dinner, the movies, hang out with your friends". I'm like, isn't that dating. She's like "I don't know", i just want to be able to see you. So she says friday we should hang out. I'm like "ok". Well friday comes and goes with no phone calls. So saturday I phone her and she is at her grandparents house, and she doesn't sound the same on the phone. I tell her what the hell is going on. You act like you really wanna hang out with me and when we both have time during our busy schedules to hang out, we don't. That's how the conversation ended until monday. We talked but nothing good got said. So last night I she calls me during class and after class I call her back. She acts like everything is OK now, but its not. I told her she was leading me on and why was she doing this to me again. She told me that she had seen a guy a few times that she has known since she was 12 but she wasn't sure what was going on with them. She never thought of the guy this way and they have never been super close. She tells me that he is an a**hole to her and that is what she deserves. Nothing really serious has happened with them, she told me the whole story. Then she tells me in a month she is moving out into an apartment with a girl from work and that she is a totally different person now. She says she needs to get out of her house (3 brothers). She has talked about this for like 1 1/2 years. We had plans to move out. She tells me she still loves me and misses me and didn't know why she did what she did. She said she was extremely sorry for leading me on she just wanted to see me really badly and wanted to keep me in her life. Last night was horrible, I feel like I am back at square one again. Getting rejected by the ex after it seemed like she wanted to get back together. I don't understand her, she says she needs to experience life and different things. We will now end on a horrible note for the second time in the past 2 1/2 months. I hate this sh*t. I can't believe this happened again and I was preparing myself for this but it just hit me so hard again. What the hell do I do? She says she so wants to make it up to me and that she wants to be friends but I can't do this. I can't sit here and watch her move on. We were supposed to move out together. She only experienced me in high school and college. Never had her own good times and memories and I think now she is seeing things outside the box and going crazy. She just goes from one extreme to the other and is confusing me and herself. NC opened her eyes for a week and now they are closed again. Guess it's time to start NC again and truly move on. Just having a bad day and I needed to vent.