Group Dates...

[dragondragon]

Is a group date the WORST first date you can create ever and making that date at a club out of all places? I had a blind date recently, we met together with a group of my friends and her best friend in the world.

I came an hour late, (minus points for me) which already got me in a not so good mood. I met her and sat by her, but that was her girlfriend's seat obviously .

She touched up and gave all eye contact to ONLY her GF, giving me minimal if any. At dinner her girlfriend's date proved more of an entertainer than I was. We talked and laughed together a little. At the end of the date, her face was PLANTED in her cellphone, texting.

I was putting my arm around her and trying to make things run smoother, but it only got worse. Even at the place, she stopped dancing abruptly to drink water, or go talk to an old friend, or get snacks. It was annoying, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't all her. Anything I could've done better, or is a group date a bad way to start anything off in the first place?

[Lite]

Uhm, you're an hour late and obviously she wasn't interested. You should have ended the date and saved your dignity rather than try to engage in physical contact with someone who obviously wasn't into you.

Pretty much you ****ed up the first impression, and she was rude to you all night rather than simply ending the date like she (or you) should have.

[dragondragon]

Didn't give a sh** about her in the first place, she lives in a different state anyways. But I'm avoiding group first dates from now on. Too troublesome.

[vashti]

I think group dates are a good way to start, but yeah - you TOTALLY blew it by showing up late. Very bad move on your part. She probably felt trapped with you the rest of the night.

[misombra]

ugh, lateness.

the only people who can get away with that on dates are females.

[dragondragon]

That major huh? I don't even know the girl. She was just a "blind" date. I just missed an hour of hanging out at a house to take some photos. And felt "stuck with me the whole night", really? As in "Oh great, I'm stuck with the guy who came an hour late?" or what?

[misombra]

well she might just not have been that interested.

but dragon, lateness is annoying. i dumped a guy because he was late picking me up for every single date. i didn't think i would be so annoyed by it, but i was. it made me feel unimportant and not worth his effort to do small things.

how old are you and where did you all meet up and who were the friends that introduced you...

[vashti]

I think tardiness is almost inexcusable. Let's put it this way: if you showed up to my house an hour late to pick me up for a date without calling, I wouldn't even answer the door. Tardiness shows a huge lack of respect for other people's time. the fact that you didn't even know her seems like it should have been incentive to be on your BEST behavior, not give yourself permission to be flaky.

[dragondragon]

Iknow, I know my fault guys...and I hate tardiness myself. I am usually ALWAYS early. I just wasn't this rare time around. I'm 10+7. We were suppose to meet up at a friend's house for pictures. Car broke down so a friend had to help out in dropping me off to the house. They took the pics without me and I got there in time for the limo ride. My friend "Fred" matched us up. She goes to college. Drove down to come to our outing. She was going anyways, but only because her BFF goes to my high school. It was such a motive of hers actually that she just decided to go hang out with her afterwards. Her mind was set on this before the unfortunate events even happened. I came in, sat next to her between her BFF and told me to move me to the other side. I wasn't in the mood to cause even more trouble so I sat on her other side. Her back was to me most of the time, so cold that I in turn got cold on her. Moving a good way from her in the limo for a while, to talk to other friends and just sit. I wasn't about to try and talk to someone who already didn't seem interested. We made it to dinner and I opened the door for her, but walked away from her.
She reminded me we were dates so arm-in-arm we walked to the table. I pulled out her chair all that good stuff. We talked for a bit, I read some body language. I got almost no eye contact AT ALL! And plus, when we first sat down, she went to the restroom, called her friend to come also...and then the other 2 went...Girl meeting. By then, I knew the date would equal an incerpt worthy of FMyLife.com. Don't get me wrong, she seemed pretty cool, but I knew she wasn't into me so my Tension Action limped like a dead flower and I just gave it up. When we left and went to dance, that's when the rest of the crap happened. Excuses and all. I had fun though just wanted the interaction to have gone better...

[vashti]

Well, I guess you will just have to move on to the next girl. Just learn your lesson and be on time! You wouldn't want the girl of your dreams to write you off for having bad manners, would ya?

[dragondragon]

I will vashti. Can't let one mistake bring me down!

[starbuck]

Regardless of what happened, I would say that group dates are probably NOT good first dates.

Not only do you have to figure out the dynamic between the two of you, but also navigate friend dynamics as well? Seems intimidating to me, and I'd rather just be alone with the person at first.

I'd say nix the group dates for FIRST dates. They're better for second or third ones.

[dragondragon]

I called and texted today to tell her if nothing else we can just be friends, but she hasn't responded. Leave it limp or tell later?

[Charlie Boy II]

yes, for God's sake leave it alone.

Why did you text her anyway? It sounds like she made it clear she's not interested and it doesn't sound like you were either.

[dragondragon]

Actually, I'm not, but I see no reason we can't settle as friends.