I'm very close friends with a woman at work. She is a lot younger than me.

We used to go out all the time Sometimes with friends, other times on our own, a couple of times a week. We would also chat to each other online all the time. She even asked me to go on holiday to South America with her. We had met each other's parents and she had even stayed over at mine.

Then she told me she couldn't go out for three weeks because she had no money. Then that was replaced with she couldn't go out she was on a diet. Then she cancelled a visit to a play we were going to see. It all stopped. I asked her why, she said she was very busy (but as far as I could see she was no more busy than she had always been).

So for about two months I saw very little of her. Then she was sent to away for work for six weeks. Just before she went we met for a drink for about an hour. While she was there she spoke a couple of times; she sent me an email about how she was doing and we also chatted on MSN a couple of times. She asked me to send her regular emails to keep her up to date with what was going on at home. It was while we were chatting that she asked me to go out to visit her. She used the phrase "please please come." So I did. I went out for about a week.

When I got there she told me how much she had missed me. Everything was fine for a couple of days and then we started arguing. She even suggested I go off by myself. By the time I left there was a real atmosphere.

When I got back I didn't hear from her for the rest of her time out there. When she got back we had an online argument. She said I was bombarding her with emails and texts (not true, I was only doing what she asked). Anyway, a few days after she got back, she got back on a plane and flew back out there to have a holiday with a guy she had met out there.

When she got back I didn't see her for three weeks, she kept saying she was too busy. Then she had an argument with the people she shared a house with and moved out. It was then she got back in touch and used me as a shoulder to cry on. She even suggested dinner, I said yes (I had really missed hanging out with just her in the evening). We met in a bar but when I got there I discovered that she had cancelled dinner and we just had a quick drink that lasted about an hour. I was a bit upset by that.

Things got back to normal except we never went out by ourselves. However, she always seemed to 'need' me to be with her when socialising. Although, she would chat to her mates and me to mine. We kept (or should I say keep) making arrangements to have dinner but she keeps canceling at the last minute, something always seems to come up). We have been to a couple of exhibitions together but she has always brought friends along and the last time it was like she wasn't with me, she went off with her two friends and they weren't even in the same part of the exhibition most of the time; it was as if I had gone on my own.

She then went on holiday to Texas with her mother and disabled brother (he is brain damaged and confined to a wheelchair). It was a disaster as they didn't seem to be geared up to cope with him in Texas and a lot went wrong. She was texting me everyday as she was so upset.

It is a year now since we last had dinner together and the last time she canceled at the last minute was last Thursday, although we were out with friends on Friday. We are having a joint birthday party next week (her idea) and are going to see a play together in July.

She has also become obsessed with my hair (my hair is long, half way down my back). Every time we speak (or so it seems) she is constantly telling me to cut it and saying that it makes me look older than I am.

I just don't know where I stand with her. We are very close but she blows hot and cold which upsets me greatly. I know I have feelings for her but not sure I fancy her.

Any advice about where I go from here?