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Thread: Doormats

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerderby View Post

    Other guy, when we met at a party, some other douche was drunkenly hitting on me, and other guy saw the tail end of this but didn't come to my defense. I asked him about it and he said he wasn't sure if I knew the guy, and if it was ok (even though I was obviously not amused.) I already know what you're going to say about this situation. Well, I can guess anyway. I'm leaning more towards guy one right now.
    Unless the drunken guy was verbally aggressive, rude/crude, pantsless, pushy after receiving a "no, thanks" etc.... that's a good thing is it not?

    I've always considered it an item of respect that a partner or prospective partner leaves the other undisturbed in these situations unless the situation escalates past the socially acceptable levels and help is requested.

    But then again, I've always had a distaste for jealousy and the situations which lead to it.

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    it's funny because you seem to describe the girls that i always end up dating.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    To be clear: I don't consider it a "syndrome". I actually admire men of this character, who have managed to tame their inner beast. They aren't wimps at all, the sort I'm describing.
    We love words, all of us, don't we? You perceive syndrome as a bad thing? To me, it's just another way psychiatry has labeled life as a form. Derrida discusses how language is never an absolute, and words are perceived differently by those who have experienced life in different ways. Your words convey different picture ideas in my mind than yours and all that.

    But other would argue that 90% of conversation is non-verbal, so how can you possibly truly understand other individual from the internet? Clarity, like cleanliness is a virtue. And shall we say, next to Godliness? Syndrome was my word, not yours.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mishanya View Post
    Derby, are you sure you are communicating properly what it is that you want? Because above scenario is very likely with any guy whether or not they happen to be loser or a non loser. If you are projecting a domineering personality then you lose a lot of 'damsel in distress' claims. I believe every relationship has a more dominant type and more laid back type personality to be able to work (either one can be a man or woman), the more dominant initiates and the more laid back reciprocates, which one are you? It is very hard to be both. If you are more dominant then maybe you are looking for more laid back guys?
    Well Mish, I am a rather androgynous and lucidly gender-fied creature, in fact, if you saw me you might scratch you head and go, "hmmm, is that human being a man or a woman? is it even possibly not a human being, at all? perhaps she breathes water, or fire, or all of the above."

    But, I do in fact say "NO **** OFF YOU PIECE OF DRUNK SHIT." Often, and in public. Maybe that's a social disorder?

    You know how hard it is to wash beer out of your hair? Lyke totally amazingly hard. My suave isn't up to the job. I would have appreciated some help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Durian View Post
    Unless the drunken guy was verbally aggressive, rude/crude, pantsless, pushy after receiving a "no, thanks" etc.... that's a good thing is it not?

    I've always considered it an item of respect that a partner or prospective partner leaves the other undisturbed in these situations unless the situation escalates past the socially acceptable levels and help is requested.

    But then again, I've always had a distaste for jealousy and the situations which lead to it.
    Is it a good thing that man meat-head wants to grab my arm and make-out randomly? hey, he saw me and said hi earlier, I should have guessed his intentions. I mean, he acknowledged my presence at a sober time... that's pretty much second base in some people's minds. Yeah, I was fine. And he even said, I didn't know if you knew him, but a simple arm around the shoulder and a "hey wanna come get a beer with me?" would have been a nice reason to get away from him. I'm not looking for strong bad.

    But yeah, it was a tough call. I do see what you are saying. Especially for someone you just met.

    Quote Originally Posted by Illusional View Post
    it's funny because you seem to describe the girls that i always end up dating.

    raverboy
    And what kind of girls are that exactly?
    Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world

    -Lily Tomlin

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerderby View Post
    the inability to make a decision on what we are going to do, or just yes me because he's a bit rose-tinted?
    the type that take forever to get ready, finally when we get to the restaurant, they study the entire menu, and finally change their mind about a couple of hundred times before we finally start eating.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illusional View Post
    the type that take forever to get ready, finally when we get to the restaurant, they study the entire menu, and finally change their mind about a couple of hundred times before we finally start eating.

    raverboy
    Nah, that ain't me. I always know what I want as soon as I see it.
    Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world

    -Lily Tomlin

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    Me too.... Words or images, the distinction of choice falls quickly upon me like intuition versus experience squared....

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Durian View Post
    Me too.... Words or images, the distinction of choice falls quickly upon me like intuition versus experience squared....
    What is this a response to?
    Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world

    -Lily Tomlin

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerderby View Post
    We love words, all of us, don't we? You perceive syndrome as a bad thing? To me, it's just another way psychiatry has labeled life as a form. Derrida discusses how language is never an absolute, and words are perceived differently by those who have experienced life in different ways. Your words convey different picture ideas in my mind than yours and all that.

    But other would argue that 90% of conversation is non-verbal, so how can you possibly truly understand other individual from the internet? Clarity, like cleanliness is a virtue. And shall we say, next to Godliness? Syndrome was my word, not yours.
    I don't know about you, Derby, but I happen to have advanced medical/scientific training. 'Syndrome' has a very specific meaning to those who use the word professionally. I just assumed you understood the word you were using. If you didn't mean it according to the accepted definition, then I'm glad you chose to explain yourself. I am glad you value clarity. Shrug.

    syndrome /syn·drome/ (sin´drōm) a set of symptoms occurring together; the sum of signs of any morbid state; a symptom complex.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerderby View Post
    What is this a response to?
    A restaraunt menu... in any language....

    I see the words, they strike my fancy, and that's what I'm eating whether I like it or not...

    ...although I'll eat anything except cake... so I'm easy in that way.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    I don't know about you, Derby, but I happen to have advanced medical/scientific training. 'Syndrome' has a very specific meaning to those who use the word professionally. I just assumed you understood the word you were using. If you didn't mean it according to the accepted definition, then I'm glad you chose to explain yourself. I am glad you value clarity. Shrug.

    syndrome /syn·drome/ (sin´drōm) a set of symptoms occurring together; the sum of signs of any morbid state; a symptom complex.
    I value words for their resonance and poetry. Science doesn't equal truth. Have you read Derrida? I was philosophizing with what you said. Not putting it down.

    [url]http://www.marxists.org/reference/subject/philosophy/works/fr/derrida.htm[/url] Read this it's interesting...

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Durian View Post
    A restaraunt menu... in any language....

    I see the words, they strike my fancy, and that's what I'm eating whether I like it or not...

    ...although I'll eat anything except cake... so I'm easy in that way.
    Exactly. You always are glad you chose what your first instinct was. For example, my dog was that first dog I played with of the litter. He was just the best, you don't need to second guess.

    So cake, eh? Marie Antoinette would have been so displeased.
    Last edited by Rollerderby; 28-05-09 at 01:47 PM.
    Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world

    -Lily Tomlin

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    Something unnatural about sweet breads with a lot of air in their fibres.... I distrust them, or on some level or another...I'm diabetic and haven't had it confirmed....

  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerderby View Post
    Nah, that ain't me. I always know what I want as soon as I see it.
    that's why we have similar taste... we date dumb people.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

  13. #43
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    at first I thought you were talking about french sweet breads, you know like intestines... LOL but yeah, sugar that refined is bad for you. Vegan cupcakes would do ya well ~
    Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world

    -Lily Tomlin

  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illusional View Post
    that's why we have similar taste... we date dumb people.

    raverboy
    LOL what?? Do you have enough words to explain how you came to this conclusion?
    Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world

    -Lily Tomlin

  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rollerderby View Post
    I value words for their resonance and poetry. Science doesn't equal truth. Have you read Derrida? I was philosophizing with what you said. Not putting it down.
    No, haven't read his stuff only heard of him. My impression is he makes thing more complex than they actually are. Which, of course, is the complete opposite of clarity. Language should be as clear as possible to permit the best communication possible.

    So, I suppose, I should refer you to Einstein. Who said that everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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