Bf blues : Dont no what to do

[Cina]

Hi Guys,
Just needed some advice. Last week Sunday my bf who is also my bes friend of 5 years got drunk for the 1st time. He never done this before but do blame it with the new ''crowd of lads'' he is with.I was angry with him when he called me in that state and he said some stupid things that made me more mad. I told him I didnt want to speak to him when he was in that state. Left him to it. I also text him before i went to bed telling him I didnt need this s*it right now as my mum isnt well, thought u be supportive but instead u get drunk etc also told him 2 carry on spending his money on booze.
He text back saying sorry. Next day he called me 9 times but i didnt want to speak to him. Tuesday came i called him left him a text telling him there will be a parcel coming for him as it is HIS BIRTHDAY TODAY but no reply. Wednesday came i called no reply.I called him at 12am today to wish him happy birthday but no reply. He always answers my calls. So I had to end up texting him. Dunnoo what to dooo.
I sent him a card and the present. No answer.

[Pietomb]

sorry if this sounds harsh, not meant to. But you weren't picking up when he rang so why are you suprised that he's doing the same to you?
Granted he should have taked into consideration your feelings, but when drunk he would have very little control, don't take it too personally, most people do silly things when drunk. Be glad he actually got in contact with you. Sounds like you rejected his apology aswell, which would in turn make him angry with you.

anyway...advice, don't be mad at him. hadn't you arranged to meet him on his birthday already? got a house phone you could call if you've only been trying a mobile? but i should think he'll soon calm down unless he tends to vent, and will either answer or call you back. keep trying, just not too often. ask him to call you as you keep texting him, though u probably already have.

[Cina]

Hi there thanks for replying back. I didnt ans his calls that day because i was scared that he may be drunk again. Most likely he is angry with me, but he must understand that I was upset with him aswell. He couldnt meet me on his birthday as he was unable to this year due to other comitments which i understand but we decided to do something together another day.
I did post him a card with some money and also sent him a birthday cake til now he hasnt thanked me lol and called him 12am in the morning to wish him happy birthday but then had to text as he never answered my calls. I didnt expect him to ignore my calls i feel hurt in a way. I wanted to speak to him in person but I cant see that happening. The more I keep trying to call him the more angry i guess he will get. At the end of the day it is his birthday today

[Doc Durian]

If he's like me, he wouldn't take kindly to being told he couldn't have a big night out once in awhile or being berated because of it. He also wouldn't like having his telephone calls go unanswered. If he's anything like me, he's thinking, "adios, control freak".

[Yggdrasil]

Stop calling him or sending him text messages.. Stop contacting him bottom line.. let him come to you.

Give him some time and space.

Patience is a virtue.

[Cina]

If he's like me, he wouldn't take kindly to being told he couldn't have a big night out once in awhile or being berated because of it. He also wouldn't like having his telephone calls go unanswered. If he's anything like me, he's thinking, "adios, control freak".

Hi there,I appreciate your advice but Im no control freak i have never stopped him from anything. Its his life I can only advice him. The reason i went mad that day was because he hasnt had a job for a year. He been using money he doesnt really have on alcohol.Maybe he thinks drinking the answer to not having a job. Thats why i was concerned.

Anyways thankyou for your advice x

[Doc Durian]

Fair enough... he's jobless. Fair point

[vashti]

He gets drunk for the first time in 5 years, and you go crazy? What's wrong with you? Sorry, but your response IS controlling. You didn't come on here complaining that he is unemployed - you only added that after people called you on your bad behavior - so why don't you tell us what the REAL problem is? Is he irresponsible with money? Is he just generally a loser? If that is your issue, then dump him. If you just don't like him getting drunk one time in five years, get over yourself. he was probably overdue.

[Cina]

Hi there im only on here for advice some people seem to be judging me as an individual.
i didnt get mad with the fact he was drunk 4 the 1st time in 5 years. I was upset with the fact he was saying he wants to start saving. All of last week he must have spent atleast £60 on booze for him and his mates. I dont drink myself, so I didnt really no what to expect thats probably the main reason why iv reacted like that. He IS NOT a loser he is a sensible person. He probably looked back on it and thought about it. Probably just wanted a laugh.

[vashti]

If he is generally responsible, and is not in danger of living on the streets, and this behavior was not typical for him, I think you should forget about it. He used bad judgement, but who hasn't from time to time?

[alovehangoverr]

If he is generally responsible, and is not in danger of living on the streets, and this behavior was not typical for him, I think you should forget about it. He used bad judgement, but who hasn't from time to time?

I agree.

Sounds like he had a night of fun-- wanting to save/not having a job/etc.. shouldn't prevent him from that. Could he have used the money for something better? Sure. But he made the choice not to. Holding it against him/making him feel guilty is just a waste of your time if this is a one time thing out of 5 years. It does come off as controlling.

He more than likely realized what he did wasn't so bad and doesn't want you freaking out on him again.

[Ashbee]

hmm. i mean i could understand if you were complaining about him getting drunk ALL THE TIME,but his first time in 5 years?