Will We Get Back Together?

[5812707]

So, two weeks ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. She didn't tell me why. I kept on going, and we argued and insulted each other, and I wasn't over her yet, so it hurt. Eventually I saw her when I was biking and waved hello. She said hi and continued walking. So, yesterday she texted me, asking why I lied about fishing. I asked what she meant, and she explained that I said I was fishing but then rode my bike past her. I explained that I was fishing in the pond/big park that was a few blocks away and had gotten bored. So then we just started talking. And she then said how much I love her best friend, a huge joke now, since her best friend has developed a crush on me since the break-up. I said you don't care about my feelings why do you want to know, and she started crying. I apologized swiftly and she said she can't bear it anymore and that she wants to be friends. She said she thought I was happy it was over, I told her the truth. She said that she wasn't over me at all and that I was mean for already being over her. I was sick of the drama, not her. And she told me the only reason she broke up with me is not because she wanted to, the last month was rocky and she knew it was time. She said it was pressure from her other friend that I was argueing with constantly, as well as my old best friend who I hated, who she continued to talk to. I responded, if you really did care about me you wouldn't have talked to that jerk, I told you he would split us up, and she said that I never cared at all. I said I used to love her and care for her, and then she simply slapped me across the face with the breakup. She said again she never wanted it to end and that she wanted to be friends. This whole time I'm thinking. Do you want to be more than friends too? She says the misses me and wants to talk again. And then she also asks me to answer 3 questions. 1. Do you still like me? 2. Are you over me? 3. Do you want to be friends? So i answered Yeah, I kinda like you... I'm not over you, and I'll think about being friends. And the next day, this is what happened.

I talk to my friend about what happened, he says that he thinks she's still into me. However, at the end of the day, Steve comes up to me. Okay, no one is named Steve anymore, but just pretend. So Steve says "Haha, I stole your girl!" I know he's been flirting with her, but I don't think she likes him... He then says "I can't beleive she even went out with you." I continue ignoring him, and then... Steve puts his hand around my neck, slams me into the locker and says "She's mine. Lay off." When my friend Dan talked to her about Steve, she told him to get out of her personal life.

So I rode my bike home with her today and it was mostly small talk. No relationship conversation. Then, as she's having a sleepover with her cousin Kate, she sends me a message. "By the way, these are my answers... 1. I kinda like you, 2. I'm over you 3.. Maybe friends, I'll think about it. And I reply you like me but you're over me? but you were depressed last night about not being over me? and she says "sorry i gotta go! bye" and i just sit there confused. I don't know what to do. can we get back together, I still love her more than anything. what should i say or do?

thanks in advance...
dk

[Icej2k]

How old are you?
I'm not gonna tell you what you want to hear... But here's what you need to hear.

It is pretty clear that the way that she is acting is due to other people manipulating her. I am not going to insult her, but she clearly doesn't have a strong enough personality to do what she really thinks is right...
e.g. "knew it was time"..? She seems to just be following "rules". And that's completely fine, as long as they are your own rules. But she appears to be following rules that are dictated to her by other people.

And then when she texted you. I think that she was speaking to her cousin about it, and her cousin told her to text you. And then told her not to reply and she instantly complied.

You need to just get over her and move on. Your maturity levels are not equal. And that is something that is essential in a relationship. You had communicational problems in your relationship, otherwise, she would have asked you about the fishing thing earlier, and given you a real reason for breaking up with you. The only way that you will ever get back together is if the two of you base your relationship on your own rules, rather than allowing outside influences to dictate your relationship to you.

And honestly, I doubt that that will happen in a hurry...

Hope my honesty helps you. Reply if you have any questions...

[5812707]

So, alot has happened in between now and my last post. Well, she got in an arguement with me again the day after. She said she was just taking out her anger at someone else on me and that she was sorry. But, we had an interesting chat last night and I don't really know what to think.

Me: Hey
Her: Hey... So... get everything off your chest. We need to talk, you go first!
Me: You go first!
Her: No, you go first.
Me: Okay... I'm confused, so now you go second and tell me everything that's going on.
Her: Okay... Well, why did you get angry at me?
Me: You got angry at me first!
Her: No I didn't.
Me: I don't even care, do whatever the heck you want.
Her: Then I'll kiss you.
Me: What?
Her: You said I should do whatever the heck I want.
Me: You're crazy.
Her: I want to kiss you, we never had our first kiss, even though we kinda leaned in a bit...
Me: I don't care, if you were mature you would have given me a real reason.
Her: You want a real reason? You changed in a horrible way. I hate the new you. And I couldn't take the pressure.
Me: Pressure, wow. I'm less important than your friends gossip.
Her: You know that I do bad with pressure, so I thought us being friends was the best thing to do, but apparently not.
Me: (Does this mean you wanna go out again since it's not the best thing to do? ^In my mind^) What do you mean obviously not?
Her: Because we keep fighting.
Me: Oh. I assume...
Her: Your turn for twenty questions.
Me: Why couldn't you put up with the pressure?
Her: You know me better than anyone in the world, you would know I can't handle pressure from people.
Me: (Then we could kiss and make your friends shut up, and your two friends I used to argue with are tight with me again...? ^In my mind^) I just had a crazy idea, but I don't know.
Her: You don't know.
Me: Nope.
Her: One side of me wants to be friends but the other doesn't!
Me: Why doesn't that side wanna be friends?
Her: Because when people break up they never talk to each other again, that's what they do in the movies. I guess I shouldn't be having to relate to stupid movies.
Me: Good job! Setting your own rules! Much improved!
Her: See, this is why we shouldn't be friends, because you keep making me cry.
Me: I'm sorry.
Her: It's okay. Why does life have to be so hard?
Me: Middle school isn't hard.
Her: Ooh, I'm listening to Coldplay!
Then we just keep talking about music for a while... Recommending songs for each other, they're mostly emo/romance/sadness in general.
Her: Listen to My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne.
Me: Okays.
Her: Doesn't it sound like us?
Me: Sure...
Her: I'm watching a movie with a huge make-out scene.
Me: I can't wait for New Moon.
Her: You just love that Twilight, Edward and Bella kissing in bed.
Me: Hey, that was your favorite part too!
And we just kept talking about music and everything... She's confusing me... I don't know, she seems to be saying she didn't want it to end and that she wants us to kiss and that she still loves me... But that she wants to be friends. I haven't put the word "just" in front of "friends" but I don't know if she wants to be friends just as buddies or something. I want to ask if she wants to try to get back together, even though I know I shouldn't...

[5812707]

So we were talking again... I'm not really sure how to feel.

So first off, we were just talking. Random things. New shoes. School teachers. Miley and Nick. Random random random.

Her: Ooh! Who was your elementary school crush?
Me: There was this one girl named <....> everyone thought I liked, but I didn't really. Ben just spread a rumor.
Her: Ben Smith?
Me: No, Ben Lee. Doesn't go to our middle school.
Her: What group of friends was he in.
Me: The people who were against me and <friends names>
Her: My friend forced me to learn the way from her house to your house.
Me: Yeah, it's a five minute walk.
Her: Oh, you've walked to her house before?
Me: Wouldn't you like to know!
Her: Every morning I drive by your house to go to school and think of the huge mistake I made...
Me: What huge mistake? (I'm thinking, oh now you're saying going out with me was a huge mistake)
Her: Ending it...
Me: Oh...
Her: Cool. I bet <her friend> could beat you up.
Me: No way, she's weak.
Her: I wouldn't be so sure about that!

Yay off-topic again. But basically she felt fine talking about past crushes... I don't know if she likes me. And then it's all oh my gosh I'm an idiot for dumping you.

Her: My turn for twenty questions. When were you going to kiss me?
Me: You don't plan it, it just happens.
Her: What? I'm not a boy, explain.
Me: You look into the other person's eyes and this time, time stops. You stop. You start falling. Falling forward. Faster and faster until you fall with your lips intertwined with theirs, a giant trampoline catching you and throwing you to the sky. And yeah, I totally stole that from a book.
Her: Haha, nice. When were you gonna do it? Soon, never, right now?
Me: I don't know, when it was right.
Her: I thought you would've had a time slot or whatever, guess I was wrong.

Why'd she ask about the kissing thing? She's like, obsessed with that... and Soon, never, or right now? Right now? What?
And then, more confusing.

Me: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you happy birthday... So yeah.
Her: That was three weeks ago!
Me: Actually, seven days ago, and it was because we were trying to ignore each other to try to get over one another.
Her: Ignoring each other? You can't stop staring at me.
Me: No!
Her: Yes, my friend always tells me when you're looking at me.
Me: So you and her don't talk that much anymore?
Her: Haha, no. You always look at me!
Me: Nope!
Her: Liar!
Me: Nope!
Her: Liar!
Me: Nope!
Her: I'm gonna go watch iCarly, liar. Answer the three questions for me again? =)
Me: Ugh... I hate the three questions.
Her: Just do it... for me. Please.
Me: Okay... 1 and 2... It's complicated... 3. Aren't we already?
Her: Wait, what were the questions again? -.-
Me: 1. Do you like? 2. Are you over? 3. Friends?
Her: Oh... uh... okay... I'm gonna go now.
Me: Oh... uh... okay... bye.
Her: Annoying =) ... Bye!

I don't know... She wanted to know my answers if I liked her again, and then reacted weird when I said it was complicated if I liked her. She tells me she is having mood swings now because she's sad, but she's also having "still into me swings."

I don't know... I've said that too much. Help!

[5812707]

Hey... So, today... more.

I opened up to three of my friends about all of this that's been happening because they're my true, honest friends. But today, what happened was... Steve came up to me in class and said "Are you jealous I stole your girl?" and then he just kept bugging me and then he said "Did you guys kiss? Hug? Hold hands?" "Wow, she never really liked you at all!" "Yeah, we had our first date, I think you're jealous" and I was just getting so mad. He even took the hot glue gun out of my hands and burnt my arm. So then I went to the pizza store with my friend who is a girl. That friend who is a girl thought I liked a different girl, and was saying I can't beleive you moved on already. I said too bad. And she said oh, you heard? And she explained. They were just going out, they went out for two weeks now and they had their first date... So now my ex even said the whole I wanna kiss you and the oh I was stupid for ending it, while going out with him... Part of me is saying "She lied, she doesn't love you, she never did, never will, she's moved on already, she loves him." and the other part is saying "She still likes me, she misses me, she wants to get back together, she just likes him for some stupid reason like I have a small crush on her friend right now, just to fill the gap, it won't work out, and we will get back together" but the bigger part of me is saying "Go in your bedroom and cry" so I'll try that. However, my friend who is a girl is calling me "Crush Central" because right now I have four girls who like me and my ex... So, I guess I'll try to be happy.

[Yggdrasil]

Never stay friends with an ex.

[Tired]

So, two weeks ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. She didn't tell me why. I kept on going, and we argued and insulted each other, and I wasn't over her yet, so it hurt. Eventually I saw her when I was biking and waved hello. She said hi and continued walking. So, yesterday she texted me, asking why I lied about fishing. I asked what she meant, and she explained that I said I was fishing but then rode my bike past her. I explained that I was fishing in the pond/big park that was a few blocks away and had gotten bored. So then we just started talking. And she then said how much I love her best friend, a huge joke now, since her best friend has developed a crush on me since the break-up. I said you don't care about my feelings why do you want to know, and she started crying. I apologized swiftly and she said she can't bear it anymore and that she wants to be friends. She said she thought I was happy it was over, I told her the truth. She said that she wasn't over me at all and that I was mean for already being over her. I was sick of the drama, not her. And she told me the only reason she broke up with me is not because she wanted to, the last month was rocky and she knew it was time. She said it was pressure from her other friend that I was argueing with constantly, as well as my old best friend who I hated, who she continued to talk to. I responded, if you really did care about me you wouldn't have talked to that jerk, I told you he would split us up, and she said that I never cared at all. I said I used to love her and care for her, and then she simply slapped me across the face with the breakup. She said again she never wanted it to end and that she wanted to be friends. This whole time I'm thinking. Do you want to be more than friends too? She says the misses me and wants to talk again. And then she also asks me to answer 3 questions. 1. Do you still like me? 2. Are you over me? 3. Do you want to be friends? So i answered Yeah, I kinda like you... I'm not over you, and I'll think about being friends. And the next day, this is what happened.

I talk to my friend about what happened, he says that he thinks she's still into me. However, at the end of the day, Steve comes up to me. Okay, no one is named Steve anymore, but just pretend. So Steve says "Haha, I stole your girl!" I know he's been flirting with her, but I don't think she likes him... He then says "I can't beleive she even went out with you." I continue ignoring him, and then... Steve puts his hand around my neck, slams me into the locker and says "She's mine. Lay off." When my friend Dan talked to her about Steve, she told him to get out of her personal life.

So I rode my bike home with her today and it was mostly small talk. No relationship conversation. Then, as she's having a sleepover with her cousin Kate, she sends me a message. "By the way, these are my answers... 1. I kinda like you, 2. I'm over you 3.. Maybe friends, I'll think about it. And I reply you like me but you're over me? but you were depressed last night about not being over me? and she says "sorry i gotta go! bye" and i just sit there confused. I don't know what to do. can we get back together, I still love her more than anything. what should i say or do?

thanks in advance...
dk

your post is difficult to follow....but it sounds like u all argued a lot anyway and there was "drama"...this sounds like a high school relationship tbh.

I'm trying to get back with an EX as well, but there was never really any drama, no fighting, etc...So i think it can happen, i think its worth trying at least.

as far as u, u seem like you were upset she was talking to some other guy, u can't be jealous and maintain a healthy relationship. Usually theres no reason to be jealous but us guys have a tendency to be possessive of our women...so i understand but its not a good thing.

She shouldn't have been flippin about your fishing trip if u weren't together it really wasn't her business if u decided to change your mind.

I think when u breakup, from recent experience its probably a good thing to take a step back. Don't make contact for an extended period of time, thats what my ex and i did altho i didn't want to. It gives u both a chance to forget or ease away from the angry insulting mode u are currently in b/c of the breakup. Maybe in a month you'll meet someone else, maybe in a month you'll decide she was right for you.

I think its in our genetic makeup as men to panic when we're broken up with and we're not really positive on the reasoning so we freak out and do really dumb shit.

My advice, just take a step back, allow your emotions to settle....its very hard not to make contact but its something u must try to do.

It doesn't seem incredibly logical right now but sometimes the best way to get someone back is to become very distant. Give them a chance to miss you and remember what it was like when u weren't around all the time.