Is he interested, or is this a brush off?

[LizWil]

Hi guys.. Am recently back in the single game and would like some advice on a recent date.

I met a guy online 2 weeks ago and we met up last night for a drink. We got on really well. Lots of talking and laughing and jokes. We seemed to get on really well. I mentioned a new bar i would like to try out and he said he would really like to go too and that the 2 of us should go together. As the evening progressed he mentioned going out for dinner too.

As the date ended, he walked me to my car we both agreeded we wanted to catch up again. He said he would also e-mail me the next day (today) with some funny youtube clips. We said our goodbyes a peck on the lips only - no heavy stuff and went our seperate ways.

I sent him a msg this morning saying i hope he got home ok, that i had a great time last night and hopefully we could do it again soon. 4 hours later he replies with he had a great time too and he finally got home after what felt like forever. That was it, no mention of catching up again and also no e-mail like he said he would send.

Now, am i reading into this too much as i am thinking that was kind of a brush off. We mentioned numerous times on the date that we would catch up again and do this and do that. (dinner, bar etc). Would he really say those things and not mean them? Or am i overreacting?

What should i do? Shall i leave it up to him to make the next move? Should i text and ask him out to the bar? I said in my text i hope we catch up again soon. What is everyones opinion?

Thanks for your time.

[GoldenNickel22]

Yes, I think you scared him off by being too overzelous and already assuming a second date, whilst already planning it. WHile it sounds like he liked you, you really threw him off by your aggressiveness. Let him do the courting a bit, call you up, let him wonder and think about you: Did SHE like me? It sounds like you were too eager for the first time meeting so he thinks he has you already. BTW, I never peck on the lips on a 1st meet, we barely shake hands or hug, usually (I am a girl, so guys might see this differently)

[LizWil]

The thing is, i wasnt the one who mentioned any other dates, he was. He was the one who suggested we both go this new bar and then kept going on about a dinner after that..

I do realise guys get scared off so i would never have made that first move into asking / mentioning another date. It was his suggestion and i agreed it sounded like fun.

[little pingoin]

I'm a girl, and I don't think you've done anything wrong so far.

Give it a few days. If nothing happens, don't worry about it. You don't want someone who makes commitments and breaks them anyway (i.e. says they'll do something but no follow through).

The thing about internet dating is that things pan out so infrequently that everyone hedges their bets. If he's been doing it a while, you're probably not the only girl on his calendar this week. He shouldn't be the only guy on yours.

[lastwish]

He sounds like a guy who just wants to conquer. Perhaps he suggested all those things to see how interested you are. Next time a guy does that, say "maybe". And don't contact him so soon after a date. Now, just sit back a bit and let him make the next move. If he doesn't make solid plans with you, you've got your answer.

[little pingoin]

"Maybe" might have him thinking you're not really all that into him and might destroy your chances of developing that relationship before it even has a chance.

However, guys do like to conquer. They take extreme pride in anything that requires effort.

So, instead of "Maybe," I'd try "That sounds like fun. I'll have to check my calendar and get back to you."

Personally, I don't have patience for games, and I don't appreciate guys that want me to play them. I lack tact, and any man that is going to love me for who I am is going to have to know that sooner rather than later. I usually bring up sex on the first date (all those advice columnists are rolling their eyes now) because it's important to me. If I do something in the early stages of courting that I don't normally do, I tell the person that it's something I don't normally do - I don't want him to make a judgment about me that's based on me putting my best foot forward (again - another 'no-no').

So I guess it just depends on what's important to you. Honesty is a big deal for me. Playing games just seems like an elaborate lie.

[Raze]

It's over. Move on.