What is she doing? Am i being used?

[Molten Steel]

I understand your feeling. To be honest, my breakup is perhaps a lot more easier than yours, because I was left with no hopes.

It's crazy how we tend to cling to hopes and cuddle it. I'd say nothing's wrong with that, but we do have to prepare for the worst with our utmost conscience and rationality.


I'm glad there's no such thing like some horny teenager instinct left in me. But I know that you are a good guy, and that you know for sure what is right to be done, and what would make you feel even more humiliated.

Good luck my friend.

[little pingoin]

In my experience, people with the inability to trust others seem to be rather untrustworthy themselves. She is capable of cheating so she assumes everyone else is. She fears in others what she hates in herself.

I think you're better off moving on. I know that's easier said than done. If you're going to give her a chance though, I really think she should talk to a professional.

[will2992]

Its more due to her past relationships with cheating, both her ex's cheated on her badly in different ways, without going into too much detail.

Plus i used to cheat alot when i was younger, not proud of it but it's the truth. I told her that very early on yet she still took a chance with me, but obviously is having serious doubts now

[little pingoin]

Eh, a cheater will justify his/her cheating by any means possible. He didn't love me enough. She wouldn't have sex with me. He cheated on me. I was drunk. Blah, blah, blah...

I cheated once, and I could give you a laundry list of the reasons I did it. No matter the justification, it all basically boils down to unhappiness in the relationship and a weakness for doing anything about it.

Doesn't make it right or excusable. I realized that and didn't do it again. I force myself to deal with my problems instead of looking for temporary solace in someone else's arms. I think habitual cheaters lack this understanding and will therefore continue that behavior no matter who they're with because they will always come across problems that they choose to run from instead of dealing with.

[will2992]

Bit of an update...

It kind of happened again the other night, she came over to pick up some stuff and to watch a film, completely innocent. But it ended up her kind of fighting with her new guy and ending up staying over mine. And as you can guess... things developed from there...

Yes i know i am stupid, but temptation was really bad for several reasons. I'm still young and she really isn't into him that much (obviously if she stayed over and we slept together). What confusing is how she feels about me? Is it purely just lust and physical attraction which led her to mine? But at first it was innocent (my assumption anyway) so maybe she just wanted to see me?

[honeyb]

She sounds a bit crackers dude.
Sorry to say she was probably just feeling a bit rubbish that day about herself and the bad sex so used you as a bit of a "pick me up" she knows your in to her and not going to turn her,you know how it is your a guy,man invented this game(not right by any means).

Serious note a healthly relationship should not be this much drama. Do you only want her now because you can't have her? What was the deal with giving out your phone number and arranging to meet other girls if you was head over heels in love? You was keeping your options open and only you know the answer as to why. If it was me I would bounce, I wouldn't be able to trust the guy and it would feel like his only with me until something better comes along.

Next time delete the messages.

[Yggdrasil]

to understand women a bit better (if thats even possible?)

IF and WHEN you achieve that level of understanding, send me an email, because I'd love to hear how you achieved that.

It kind of happened again the other night, she came over to pick up some stuff and to watch a film, completely innocent. But it ended up her kind of fighting with her new guy and ending up staying over mine. And as you can guess... things developed from there...

You just enjoy being a doormat don't you?

I feel like giving you a kick in the arse.

What happend to your self worth?

[will2992]

Yea i am a doormat for her, and it's really annoying. I have no control over my feelings right now, different people saying different things etc etc. She doesn't text me just for that, we do talk quite often, about normal stuff like how our days have been. Its just when we are together we really do act like a couple again, and the emotions just come flooding back.

And about the messages, i am not defending myself, i know it was stupid. But i was not head over heels for the girl at the time, we had just got together and it was just casual. The texts were completely innocent, just little catch ups like i would with any person who messaged me.

[Raze]

She totally koookkoooo for coco puffs.

[will2992]

She totally koookkoooo for coco puffs.

Why you say that though? She just plain mental with no care in the world? Or she just doesn't know what she quite wants yet?

[Yggdrasil]

Why you say that though? She just plain mental with no care in the world? Or she just doesn't know what she quite wants yet?

Oh she knows already what she wants.... and she's getting it to.

The best of both worlds....

[SpringRomeo94]

sometimes i feel used, but the truth is, if you love her, than just love her and eventually she will love you or get rid of you.

[SpringRomeo94]

you are a man.....sex is sex....just take it when you can get it

[will2992]

Yea that is kind of what i'm doing, kind of lost all hope in relationship and women at the moment so taking what i can get.

Saw her again tonight but it was completely different. We just had a really good time together without any need of physical actions, we did have a little kiss goodnight though. She said she wants to take it slow with us, just being good friends (but with benefits it seems)