Dating Someone With a Disability

[Illusional]

are you certain or uncertain about that one??

raverboy

[Uncertain]

are you certain or uncertain about that one??

raverboy

100% Certain.

[PAgirl7]

LMAO! You guys are too much! You know what I found REALLY weird? My boyfriend walks with a very pronounced limp when he doesn't use his crutches... and to be honest I find the way he walks really sexy! I have no idea why, but it's a complete turn on for me! Go figure!!!

[Uncertain]

That's not weird IMHO.

[GBRaul]

To each his own I guess...

[PAgirl7]

I guess my point is- once again- that you never really know until you experience it.

[Illusional]

i guess there is nothing more left to say in this thread. raverboy

[nomas]

Final Thoughts..

So I guess the moral of the thread is (as always) depends on the individual.

Really, we all have different levels of what we find acceptable. Think of someone in a coma....as disabled as you can get. I'd say it's a safe bet to say most people wouldn't date someone in a coma..mainly because it's impossible, but there may be a selfless (and very, very lonely) therapist who may be willing to marry this person a la "Talk to Her" (has anyone seen that movie?). Then you just notch it back a bit and you get people willing to have a relationship with someone paralized from the neck down. Next you get people willing to date someone who needs braces and crutches to walk. Further up the latter are those who would date someone with a prosthetic leg, and so forth.

So the question was "Would you date someone with a disability" and I think that if allowed such a wide range in the definition of a disability from a glass eye to paralysis from the neck down, it's broad enough to include most people.

Freddie

[Wolfchild]

I've been reading all this with great interest because I have Spina Bifida myself. It's something that has always bothered me that a lot of folks just don't take me seriously in a "relationships" way and I do wonder whether my disability has something to do with it. It is very true that there is a strong tendency to assume that a person who walks oddly is probably mentally disabled too....

I have been very surprised by the fact that general dislike of the physical look of somebody seems to be a little less often commented on than the assumed inability of a person to join in an "active lifestyle". My current problem is exactly the opposite at the moment! I have a partner (in quite a loose sense, but that's another story) who is "able bodied", but who has no interest in my lifestyle, which revolves around a fairly dangerous, active sport. I find this frustrating, annoying and frankly lonely. I would like nothing more than a fulfilling relationship with somebody who shares my interests and my "active lifestyle" (and yes, I have somebody in mind, but that is also another story!) but I have a strong suspicion that my disability plays a part in my difficulties in finding somebody suitable over the years - not because I am too active, but just because I don't strike people on first viewing as the kind of person who fits the usual description of "beautiful" from the waist down.

Personally, I have dated another person with a disability - it was something of a disaster, mainly because he was so bitter about his problems that he became mentally ill as a result. The disability itself was not really a problem to me. I do, however, dislike the idea of being expected to socialise and find my romantic attachments among only disabled people purely because I was born with Spina Bifida, and a lot of people expect that of a disabled person.

Thanks for the rational discussion on this one - it's good to see things from "the other side". Just remember that even a disability commonly regarded as "serious" isn't a reason not to have an outdoor, active way of life.

[GBRaul]

If I'm not wrong (correct me if I'm wrong), Spina Bifida is some disorder to either the brain or the spine, usually something like the spine not closing when the foetus was still in the mother's womb, and would result in lower body paralysis. Wow... I admire you Wolfchild. I'd keep in mind that a disability isn't a reason not to have an active way of life, though like I said in a separate post that that doesn't really matter to me.

Once again from that post: I'd be more inclined towards being with a girl with physical disabilities than mental disabilities, though I was born with some of the latter. Managed to hide them by now, heh. People can't tell that I was born with comprehension disabilities, memory deficiency and a short tongue . In fact, it's my physical disabilities that are more obvious cos I was born with asthma, kawasaki and sinus. Almost died before my 7th birthday. Yeah, my cardiovascular system was and is still rather screwed. I don't exactly consider myself disabled though, and I hope to live a normal guy's lifestyle, which I THINK I am now.

Oops... trailed off a bit there lol

[JamesHarmison]

Thanks for nice post.I guess my point is- once again- that you never really know until you experience it.

[lesa]

Thanks for nice post.I guess my point is- once again- that you never really know until you experience it.

1) This is an old thread. Actually it's really ancient.

2) Your point -once again-... where's the first? I see only one post by you and it's this one. Maybe you mean "the point" rather than "my point"?

[Karmakin]

I have not found myself really attracted to anyone in a long time. Although I'm not attracted to women, I was beginning to wonder if maybe men just weren't doing it for me anymore. I am currently dating someone, but honestly I have never even thought of him sexually, although he is an attractive guy. But for me it takes much more than physical attractiveness or a successful career, or a personality that is charming.

Anyway, to get on the subject, I am doing volunteer work in a physical therapy setting. A guy came in and I immediately found him physically attractive. I felt kind of pervy cause I was looking at his ass during physical therapy. I believe he was in an accident and suffered some brain damage, which has messed up the mobility on one side of his body. However, he knows what is going on and can hold a conversation fine.
So I watched the way he re-did exercises that he didn't get right the first time even when no one told him to. And that is what got me. No one ever does that, and it caused me to feel a huge amount of respect towards him. I think this is what I lack for most of the men I date for various reasons.

I would like to hear from someone who is dating a disabled person. I don't care who looks at me or him because of it - that doesn't concern me. I am more concerned over how I can handle this emotionally. I felt like I was going to get emotional during the therapy, not because I felt sorry for him, but because the way he carried himself struck me so strongly and because I realized I was actually pretty strongly attracted to someone.