Is he cheating?

[Lioness]

I have been back and forth with my boyfriend for the last 2 years, and he has changed constantly. I obviously met him at a time in his life when he was insecure of who he was. He might still be..

I don't know how to shorten the story, so I'm just gonna put up some examples of why I suspect he's being unfaithful to me.

*We had a period where we were not officially a couple, but we still decided to be exclusive with each other. I found out that he had slept with several girls. When I confronted him, he lied at first and said "NO". But then he admitted it, and said he thought we weren't exclusive.. No one knew about our "relationship" at that time, and we never hung out with each others friends.

*After a short break-up we got togheter, and agreed that this is it. We're both in 100% and everyone knows that. A month goes by, and I find out that he has lied to one of his female friends, that me and him are not really togheter "it's just a public joke" . I confront him, and he explains that he said so because he was trying to test a new flirting tactic on her..

*He is 26 years old. He parties from thursday till sunday. Hangs out with his two male roomies. They have a party at their place several days a week. It has happened twice now, where I can't come - because it's a guys night out. The next day, pictures are posted on facebook from the party, and there are more girls there than guys.

These are a few examples of what's happened. There are so many more situations, but I can't handle writing about them right now.

I as a person believe that every human has it's own freedom. I want mine, so I give it back. I'd never tell a guy to not have female friends, or to hang out with his friends. I think it's healthy to feel free and not tied up by one another.

Is he cheating on me, or is he just immature? Maybe afraid to commit? He says he loves me with all his heart, and I'm the only girl in this world for him. He says this on his own initiative, and not when something is wrong. That's why I believe him.

I have never been so insecure about a guy in my entire life. But I truly love him, and I want for us to make it work. He's my man


Please help me guys.

[Primo]

I have never been so insecure about a guy in my entire life. But I truly love him, and I want for us to make it work. He's my man

Lioness, there's a graveyard full of young girl's relationship tombstones that have inscriptions on them, just like you wrote.

The fact that you're even here asking this question should answer it for you. Don't become another victim of hopelessly loving someone that doesn't love you back. You seem like a really nice and sincere girl, so don't take what I say in a hurtful manner, but you're easy, you're convenient, you're naive, that's what he loves about you. And yes, he's getting with anyone he can, when he can.

[davidtorres]

Lioness, there's a graveyard full of young girl's relationship tombstones that have inscriptions on them, just like you wrote.

The fact that you're even here asking this question should answer it for you. Don't become another victim of hopelessly loving someone that doesn't love you back. You seem like a really nice and sincere girl, so don't take what I say in a hurtful manner, but you're easy, you're convenient, you're naive, that's what he loves about you. And yes, he's getting with anyone he can, when he can.

true, he's getting with anyone he can, when he can.

[qwertz]

im going mad..im sure i replied to this

[qwertz]

ahhh im not mad..you double posted in the main board..did you not like my answer?

[Lioness]

Sorry, I posted it both places at the same time, cause I wanted to make sure I got a guys oppinion aswell. This is quite hard :\ And I wonder how I'm gonna get him to tell me the truth. Because, what if the case is that he's not cheating? I know guys who put themselves available out there even if they're not, just because they need the attention and the validation that they're attractive, handsome, sexy etc.. Because they lack confidence.. And sometimes, I must admit - i don't know wether he has too much or too little self-esteem.. He's hard to read.

Sometimes he opens up, and tells me his inner fears and troubles. He has a hard time crying in front of me, but when it gets tough enough he does. So he's not a cold person, wich I get the impression that I might have displayed with my first text.

He is improving now that he knows I'm insecure. The question is just - is he better at hiding it, or does he get the fact that he's about to lose me? Cause he knows that he has to make some changes for us to work.

I am not so very naive, really. I have been through infidelity before, and I know the signs. Unfortunately. But this time, I'm insecure, even when think with my heart or my head.. :\

[kms]

Well... at the very least, it looks like he's more interested in partying, living a bachelor's life, and having fun than in being in a committed relationship with someone. He might love you, but yet he still wants both a free, fun-filled life with you on the side. Unfortunately, you're letting him believe that's possible because you're trying not to say anything about his inappropriate behavior for someone who's in a committed relationship (and "a public joke"?? I would be offended at how trivial he treats your relationship, but then to top it off, his excuse is that he was trying to flirt?? It's like he's saying 'yeah I had sex with that girl because she turned me on. uhh....). It doesn't really sound like he respects you or the relationship.

[Kaius]

This fellow is immature and not ready to settle down. What's the point of dating someone when his actions make you miserable. It's supposed to be peachy before marriage. If you ask yourself "where is this relationship going?" and you can't answer it, you need to cut loose.

Oh BTW, there is no such thing as cheating before you are married. Everyone is fair game in the market place. If he chooses to be with someone else, then he's not yours. IMHO.

[shheadz]

I agree with some of the other posters. Even if he's not cheating, he's making you miserable. So why bother? Are you concerned that you're making something out of nothing, and you're going to dump him for no reason? Well, I'm learning to trust my gut instinct, and your gut is telling you that he's not "the one". I'd run with that feeling.

[Gigabitch]

You can find someone who doesn't make you want to pull your hair out. I think this guy is toast.