Why do you girls downgrade?

[Graham Berkeley]

In high school I remember girls breaking up with guys to "upgrade" to a better looking, more in shape and more dominant male, who often had more money, but these days it seems to be the opposite.

Both of my long term EX GFs, as well as a small army of EX GFs of my close male friends, have totally downgraded and have hooked up with less good looking, less motivated, less capable guys. In a few cases shockingly so like WTF?

This happened with a close female friend of mine earlier this year. She left her boyfriend sighting reasons that he wasn't motivated enough, I guess he is a carrier college person and hooked up with an overweight nerdy boy who plays dungeons and dragons who lives at home and works at a store in the mall...

WHY do girls downgrade?

The only commonality I've witnessed is that the guys they go for are total push overs while the Ex's they broke up with are not.

[lilly1185]

Abusive women who need to be able to assert themselves over ridiculous matters?

I've no idea, actually. Perhaps she is hoping this "nerdy" boy will become the next Bill Gates? Or maybe he has other attractive qualities?

People are strange, and women even stranger. Perhaps some of them need to remember WHY they were with dominate males.

I hooked up with a ridiculously large guy back in highschool, and succumbed to plenty of abusive behaviour by him. I have no idea why. Except perhaps as retaliation for mum, she insisted he was a go-nowhere lazy slob.

He walked into the store I worked at with his mum recently (this was 6-ish years ago we dated) still giving her his paychecks. Mum was right! DODGED A BULLET!

I can't imagine an older woman needing to rebel for any reason, but who knows.

[Sanctuary]

Because they thought they could do better but they were wrong.

Or they've been watching too much sex in the city and think they deserve some super guy that has it all despite being flawed themselves. And when they finally realize they can't get any good guys cuz they're not pretty/sweet enough, they've become old and can't attract guys like they used to so they settle for whatever they can get.

[Graham Berkeley]

...they've become old and can't attract guys like they used to...

I'm taking late 20's here. Their not exactly old bags...

[Graham Berkeley]

Another thing I notice is they stop talking and erase their old boyfriends... I don't get this...

[Gigabitch]

They're looking for keepers now, not accessories or arm candy. The criteria are different.

[vashti]

What you might consider a "downgrade" may, in fact, be an "upgrade". It depends on the criteria being used.

[Di741111]

Maybe the less nice looking guy loves her more? Maybe she has too much of a pressure being with a really good guy?
Im a girl, and I haven't downgraded, but if I feel like this 'less good looking and less motivated guy' can make me more happy, I wouldn't mind downgrade, or I wouldn't even think that this is a downgrade

[bluesummer]

I agree with Giga and Vash. Priorities change. I've dated very wealthy, outwardly successful men who were supposedly 'catches', but not for me. Not to say my fiance is a downgrade in any sense, but I can understand why it might look that way from an outside perspective.

I guess in a nutshell, the guys that seem so wonderful on the outside aren't always what they seem. Everyone's flawed somehow.

[Gigabitch]

Pretty boys don't try hard.

[bluesummer]

^Sooooo true.

[Gribble]

Maybe that overweight D&D kid appreciates her and loves her so much she can look beyond his physical shortcomings. Maybe she's sick of dominant males. Maybe she wants a guy who will treat her as an equal, who will love her tenderly in bed, and who will respect her.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe he has a big, thick wiener.

[starbuck]

Maybe he has a big, thick wiener.

with +12 to Dexterity.

[Graham Berkeley]

with +12 to Dexterity.

And a +5 against Ogres.

I get what you ladies are saying as far as someone who can make her more happy but with most of the girls I've seen this happen with "More Happy" means "He will let me do and say whatever I want and will never have the self esteem to argue or question me."

For instance the girl with the D&D playing boyfriend I come to find out is schizophrenic as well. Its like... ... Are you kidding me? How low does your self esteem have to be?!