Does She Go Too Far W/ Other Girls?

[Baked]

So my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for four months now. Things are great, and we are moving in with each other in three weeks.
She's 19, I'm 21.

Now, there is ONE thing that troubles me a little.
Whenever we go over to her friend's house and drink, she tends to become very, very... sexual. By this I mean that she likes to make out with her girlfriends. The way I see it, there's nothing wrong with that. But she's even gone further than that ("heavy petting", i.e. masturbating for each other). It kind of bother me, and she's even tried to do it in front of me. She thinks it's a turn on to me, and it is, but at the same time it feels really weird and awkward.

She has assured me that she is not bisexual, and I don't think she is either. She is always brutally honest, and she holds the standpoint that homosexuality is wrong.

Additionally, she has also told me that she'd would make out with another girl while sober, and that she's curious. And she's also told me that she sees nothing wrong with wanting to "finger" one of her girlfriends while drunk.

The reason as to why I am asking this is because I was randomly browsing through questions on that Dr. Ruth (the "sexpert") website, and a woman was asking if it would be alright for her to have sex with another woman if it was okay with her husband. Ruth replied that it would be best to keep those things in the imaginary world, because things could easily turn sour if you're too "sexually liberal" in the real world.

What to do?

[Gigabitch]

Is it just the one friend, or is she like this with lots of girls?

[Baked]

Well, two of her close friends.
They have known each other since kindergarten and are best friends.
No one else.

[Gigabitch]

And she knows how uncomfortable this has made you? I can tell you're trying to present yourself as being cool with it, but it's okay not to be. Her behavior is pretty weird, especially for someone who professes homosexuality to be wrong.

Maybe you should ask her what exactly the difference is between her doing these things with her girlfriends and doing them with other guys. People don't usually do stuff like this with their friends. Girlfriends are supposed to only do this with their SO.

And where did she get the idea that it would turn you on?

[Baked]

Boyfriends in the past have told her that it turned them on. I have also told her that it does turn me on, but it also makes me feel a bit weird.

And she does do things with me, more than she would do with someone else.
She is pretty sexually inexperienced, and has just moved away from home and started college. I guess she's experimenting, but I don't know...

I would feel awkward asking her to stop, because I don't want to put a leash on her and make her feel controlled by me.
What should I do??

[Gigabitch]

Tell her you want her for yourself.

Hell, try the leash thing. Maybe she'll get off on it.

[Converse]

I think moving in together right now is too soon. I've seen so many relationships fail because of moving in togther too soon, and if she loved you she wouldn't be doing that with other people IMO.

[vashti]

I would feel awkward asking her to stop, because I don't want to put a leash on her and make her feel controlled by me.
What should I do??

There is a difference between putting a leash on her and defining your own boundaries. Your girlfriend should not be engaging in behaviors that make you uncomfortable; that is a matter of simple consideration.

[Baked]

Well, I haven't really told her that I'm not okay with it, and that is because I don't want to "restrain" her as a person.

Also, we're already living together in a way. She's been staying at my place 24/7 for two and a half month, and it's working well.

[vashti]

::groan::
Living together after four months? Bad idea. Anyway, if this relationship has even a prayer of surviving, you are going to need to learn to be more honest with her.

[Zach]

Be completely honest with her and tell her how you really feel. Its the only way to really get initimate with her. Hide nothing. Your not ok with it and its obvious, and there is nothing wrong with that. Tell her you Love her and you are not comfortable with it. If she loves and respects you, she will drop it without a problem. If she is not seriously in this relationship for love then you may run into some trouble but atleast it wouldn't have gone to much farther before crashing. Good Luck.

[jurupa]

The thing that gets me is that she is against homosexuality and yet takes part in such acts sexually. And yet she admits that she is curious even tho being gay/lesbain is worng. I am not trying to ding on your girl friend, but the fact that she does these things freely while drunk says to me that she may be hidding in the closet.

But I agree with Vashti that you need to define your boundaries with this girl.

[Mathias]

If you're uncomfortable, that's a problem that you need to address. Period.

[Baked]

A little update.
We just had a big talk and I told her how I felt about it.
She told me that she had no problems with quitting this behavior, and I can't tell you how much of a relief this is.

She also mentioned that it's not like I'm controlling her, and that mutual respect for each others' feelings is something that's more important than having a good time when you drink.

Still doesn't make me any less concerned about why she wants to do this, but at this point I'm not complaining.

Thank you for making me realize the importance of being honest and giving me the courage to talk to her!

[vashti]

I don't think you should worry about WHY she would want to do it. If she stops, then it is all good.