Break Up Story

[Bjorn7]

I feel as if the whole 3 three weeks of anticipation of coming back to college were a complete letdown. I get back around 12:30, wanting to get their early so that I could spend time with her before classes. My family goes and eats lunch and maybe comes back around 1:30. Still no sign of her. Maybe 4:30 hours later I walk by her room to go to the computer lab and see her unpacking. I decide not to say hi for some reason and determine I’ll say hi when I get back. The computer lab was a complete failure, maybe foreshadowing my troubles to come. I spend almost a fifth of my total allotted papers for the quarter in one day (46 pages). I received one piece of printed paper that I didn’t even need to print in the end and 45 missing papers that never printed but still were charged to me. Well, I get back to the dorm and step in her room. She probably sees me but says nothing. Her roommate gives me a compliment about my haircut, which I have come to like. I walk past her roommate’s bike, and still she says nothing and barely notices my presence. I give her a hug with one arm as she passes by, unpacking her things. She stops for a moment but doesn’t hug back. At this point, I still don’t think I saw what was coming, but I sort of sensed something was different. As she unpacked I fooled around on a keyboard she brought from home. Then her roommate went to the computer lab, leaving the two of us alone. She gets up on her bed and sits on hit cross-legged. Now I don’t exactly remember how this played out, but I got the gist of it. She starts by telling me she has been thinking over this break. That moment my stomach drops, even though I still have no idea what is coming. I recover from this, thinking it is nothing bad. Then boom I get it center mass. She tells me that she wasn’t ready to enter a new relationship after her ex broke up with her over Facebook back in early September. Oh did I mention a break up over FACEBOOK? Oh come the **** on. You’re going to feel like that after someone dumps you over the internet. I would say **** them, they should grow a pair and at least call me. This part is a little foggy. I want to say she said something like “we can’t be together” or something. Then she goes and says,” you’re perfect”. You’re smart, handsome funny, yadda yadda yadda. If I am so perfect then what’s the deal? What I think I may be pissed at second most is myself. I just stood there like a shmuck and said ok, ok, ok. I should have said, “Well I guess I’m not perfect enough” then walked out and said, “Nixon Out’ with his customary salute (minus the index fingers). Well that doesn’t happen and I just stand there leaning against the bed, staring at the circles on her blanket. We hold hands and give each other a slight hug. Oh wait, forget to mention this: “I don’t want to affect our friendship.” Friendship!!?? Hell no. I told her a while ago that I wanted to remain friends no matter what, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I don’t want to see my ex or speak to her. I don’t want to be the guy that bottles his shit up and sits there, pretending nothing’s up. Break my heart, and I really don’t want to be your friend. I forgive easily, but not when someone hurts me like that. Do that and the most you’ll ever be is somewhere in limbo between an acquaintance and a friend, never getting close to the latter.
What I get a kick out of is that I received a better welcome when I wasn’t her boyfriend. We chatted on Facebook (****ing Facebook!) for quite awhile one night when I went to visit home. She happened to be on and I initiated the conversation. I get back that Sunday and she gives me a very strong embrace which I don’t give back at first because I was a little dumbfounded. I of course did, with quite a bit less squeezing. I get back after 3 weeks of not seeing her and I barely get her attention. Sure she has some great news to come back with I guess and I suppose I am not exactly boyfriend material anymore. But God damn. Those 3 weeks we talked over Facebook and video chatted over Skype, what were they worth? I could have been like her douche ex and after a week without seeing her, dump her over the internet. Or maybe I could be classy and spend 25 cents on a text and break her the news that way. What’s worse is that she talks to him probably every day. He texts her every day practically. She responds. He talks to her on facebook (usually boring shit oh and did I forget something? ****kkkkk Facebook!!!!). She responds. I was seriously offended at the time but I did feel a little pissed and yes, jealous. He even picked her up when she went to Seattle! Oh come on! And he’s got this plan, either go to his school in Seattle and do aeronautical engineering or go to a school for music that happens to be close to our common ex. Alright sucker, you blew it, you were a douche, and you seriously need to reassess your priorities.
The last week or so of break we contacted each other less (I had family over) until the last few days I got no word from her. So I had no idea what was being plotted. I came back here a campy camper and then found out I was completely lost in the woods. Shit, I forgot the bread crumbs. All that wasted time, I could have gotten some more shut eye or maybe have increased my Guitar Hero skills. Oh the possibilities. We really haven’t been dating for a long time. Maybe 2 ½ months prior to break than I suppose you could add the 3 weeks of break if you were being liberal. I’m betting I am her shortest relationship. And I’m betting that I’m the only one she ever broke up with (not counting a freebie: one of her exes cheated on her with his ex and twins). If she wasn’t ready for a relationship, why did she bother dating me! Why didn’t she realize that she wasn’t ready? Did she stop to think that by doing this, our friendship would never be repaired once it ended (assuming she could have easily foreseen its future)? If you’re not ready for a relationship, don’t jump into one! I had no idea she was on the “rebound” and was coming out of a relationship. I had no idea she wasn’t ready for a relationship. I, the inexperienced dater was naïve and hopeful. She, the quite experienced dater had more baggage then than JFK international and was battle scarred from a previous relationship. Don’t be so selfish and enter a relationship if you aren’t ready. What was she thinking!
Now, I have no idea what the future holds. I am still confused as to what she means for our relationship. Are we taking a break? Is she like the Death Stick dealer on Coruscant and wants to go rethink her life? Are we done for good? I have no frickin’ clue. However, if she gets back together with her ex, boom, you missy are out of my life (and yes I do the Facebook delete thing!!). Would I get back together with her if given the chance? Maybe, if given some time. But she needs to get her shit together. Currently, I am trying to avoid her, since she happens, just with my luck, to be in two of my classes and lives in the same dorm. The only word I have said to her since my termination was “good” when she asked how my acting class was. I have not responded to any Facebook chat, I walk by her and say nothing; I really at this moment don’t want her in my presence. I also avoid the people she is generally around.
The first two days of the break up were hardest. It got easier every day and by day 4 I was feeling alright. I have mostly been spending my time by myself exercising, reading, sleeping, or doing homework. Had I known the future would I have done the same thing? Well I certainly don’t feel great right now, I did enjoy it while it lasted (although pathetically short). And I suppose it is something that everyone needs to experience so that they can grow. As for me, I feel shitty right now, but in the future, I think I’ll be all the wiser. Don’t be afraid to go into a relationship if you are afraid if it is going to fail. But, do NOT go into one if you are not ready, that is a big mistake. If you have the opportunity to get into a relationship, enjoy the time the two of you have together. It will all be worth it once you find the one you would like to spend your life with. There are many fish in the sea, and like the law of averages, you are bound to find one. We humans may cling to hope, but sometimes, it’s the one thing that gives us the means to get through the day.

[shheadz]

Man, I'd like to help you, but I can't wade through that wall of text.

[IncognitoSir]

Well, I read everything, you're well on your way to recovery which is great. Unfortunately a lot of people make the mistake of jumping out of one relationship and right into another. It sucks you had to experience this, but as you know, you gotta keep it moving. I think you're doing pretty good, take care of your self for now. Theres no telling what shes doing with herself right about now, sounds like shes still very much into her ex. If thats the case' you are better off without her.Keep your head up man.

[cmacattack1]

Life would be so much easier if we were all upfront and honest, wouldn't it? Would you have been with her if she told you that you were a rebound and that I will try you out and if you don't match my ex, I will cut you loose? Nope. She did it for herself and unfortunately you got the shit end of the stick. I wouldn't take it too personal, some people feel like epic failures when they are dumped. Like they aren't good enough. It's plain and simple that her and her ex won't work again. Sorry you had to get dragged through the mud. You will probably hear from her again when it doesn't work out.

Plenty of fish in the sea blah blah blah. Sounds like you are dealing with it well and it's healthy to be angry. Put down the Guitar for a minute, and go socialize with some gals!

[lhn]

Sorry to hear you got left in the lurch but you are right, I think you were a rebound. Which just blows, to put it bluntly. You sound like you have the ability to not like her because of what shes done which will make the breakup easier.

From the sounds of your post, you don't really need advice and you already know everything. Just keep your head up and let the next great girl make you happy.

Goodluck