I Have No Idea What To Do

[gobucks225]

Okay, so the whole situation starts in April of '09. I had liked this one girl for a few months, so i asked her out to a prom at school. People started to ask if we were together, but we really weren't officially. At a bonfire after school one night, our whole class was at the bonfire and we were both there. She was with her girl friends, so i didn't feel comfortable going over and talking to her. During that time another guy started talking to her and asked her to prom not knowing that she was going with me. She told him that she was going with me, but in the process i became very jealous while having to watch them the whole night. I was so jealous that i hardly talked to her at all until the night of prom. When prom came i met her parents and we seemed to have a good time together. But i was still scared that she might like the other guy more than me. From then on we have done various activities with the same group of people, but i tried to avoid most contact with her due to my jealousy. It seems like she was doing the same thing, avoiding me. it's now about 10 months later and i just went out to eat with a group of people last night and she was there. It was just like it had ended, we both avoided each other like we had some disease or something. The bad part of this entire story is that i really do like her. I'm not quite sure how she feels about me though. The way she avoids me makes me think that she hates me and thinks that i'm a creep, but then i realize that i'm actually doing the same thing that she is. I've been contemplating whether i should ask her on facebook questions such as: Why we avoid each other and What is keeping us from even talking when we have the same friends? To me it seems that we are both being immature, but i still have no way of knowing whether she likes me, and at the same time i don't want to be creepy in any way. So that's my problem, I almost kind of wish that i didn't like her so much but after almost a year, i still find my self wondering, "What if?"
Advice about what I should do would be greatly appreciated, Thanks

[Spring Haze]

You don't know for certain whether or not she's avoiding you. The avoiding started with you up until the prom, and continued due to your jealousy. She has probably picked up on that, so to accuse her of avoiding you would likely come across as unfounded. You have the same friends. Say hello when you see her in person again, smile, ask how she's been.

[girl68]

Since you started it you should be the one who starts anything else, and not on facebook.

You were the one who avoided her, she then wondered the very same thing you do. If he likes me, asks me to the prom, then avoids me he must not like me anymore. With that established in her head the only thing she CAN do is avoid you back.

So what you learned here today is: when you like a girl- SHOW HER.

[gobucks225]

My main problem is that i go back to school on Tuesday, which is about 1,000 miles away; she also lives about an hour away so i don't get very many opportunities to see her. Should i just wait until the summer and talk to her then?

[girl68]

WTF I thought you are at the same school. You've left out crucial details.

[gobucks225]

We were last year, that was our senior year of high school. Now we're going to different colleges, she stayed in the same city, but i went down south.

[girl68]

I believe you have long missed your chance son.

[gobucks225]

we do live by each other tho

[girl68]

No you don't when you're away at college for months of the year you don't "live" by her.

[bloodtippedrose]

I thought I was reading what an 8th grader, mayber a 9th grader was writing. Why would you ignore a girl you liked? That won't get you anywhere but further out of her mind. Get over the high school romance. Its been 10 months. If you want to live and be around girls in your old town then why did you choose a college away from her? That doesn't show her you like her. Ignoring her doesn't show you you like her, and contacting her to discuss serious situations on facebook and getting so easily worked up another guy is talking to a girl that you've never called your girlfriend is so very immature.
Either get over it and talk to girls at your college and leave your old town behind, or be a man for once and contact her face to face. Doesn't have to be serious, joke around with her and LET HER KNOW YOU ENJOY HER COMPANY!


And just to ease my politically correct mind: 1hr away = approx. 40-50 miles
and envy is wanting to possess something (the girl) while jealousy is getting upset thinking you'll lose something you already have.

[Gigabitch]

I've been contemplating whether i should ask her on facebook questions such as: Why we avoid each other and What is keeping us from even talking when we have the same friends?

Start by looking up the word "disingenuous". Don't ask these questions when you know damned well why and it's your own fault.

Girls really like it when guys are more straightforward with them. You're playing hurtful games with her. No wonder she avoids you- you blow her off constantly.

[gobucks225]

Yeah I've definitely realized that i severely screwed it all up and can now clearly see the immaturity that i showed. I really want to thank you guys for opening my eyes to what she must have been feeling the entire time. Next time will most certainly be different. Should I just forget the whole thing/her and count it a lost cause?

[Aeradalia]

I would gobucks... unless you want an earful from her. I doubt anybody who has been ignored for 10 months for no real good reason is gonna be happy.

[bloodtippedrose]

If she's single I wouldn't say all is lost. If you really like her then ask her out as friends and show her a good time, even if you're going back to school, remind her how good it was being friends in high school. If you guys hit it off and keep talking then you can invite her to your dorm/ new apt and show her around. If you don't hit it off then you can forget about her but you'd know you tried and you can have a tiny bit of closure.

If she brings up why you haven't been talking to her don't say anything about being envious of other people -_- instead of something more romantic, like you wanted to take the relationship to the next step and you got nervous and it kept getting worse then you decided screw it, its now or never