i have no idea what's going on

[nyc123]

i recently hooked up with this guy that i've been friends with for about 3 years. we've always flirted, it's basically just part of our friendship, but i never thought it would lead to anything more than that. we've made out a few times since we first hooked up, which shouldn't really be much of a problem. however, the first time we hooked up was only a day after i broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. i didn't break up with my boyfriend for my friend; it just happened. but, i'm pretty sure my boyfriend is still in love with me, so this whole thing with my friend is being kept a secret from pretty much everyone we know.
now, my problem is that i can't tell if he just wants to be friends with benefits or something more. i'm okay with either because i don't want a serious relationship, so FWB would be okay and dating would be okay too because there's no chance for it to get serious since we're both going to college soon. it seems like he likes me, but he has a reputation for being a charmer, so i'm not really sure what his true intentions are.
should i ask him what he wants? or should i just go with the flow and see what happens? i feel like knowing what he wants from me will make it easier for me to figure out how i'm supposed to act towards him, but maybe i'm just overanalyzing the situation??

[Ellynn]

Ask him what he wants OR at least make it VERY clear about what you want.

If he's looking for something more then just FWB, then I don't think your in the position right now to give him all that. I say this mainly because you just got out of a 2 yr relationship and suddenly hooked up with him on rebound. Why keep this up and hurt your friend like that? It could really screw things up if he's expecting more from you. You might think it's harmless to date, but if he really has strong feelings for you and wants something more serious and you don't, then you both need to be on the same page when it comes to that.

If he wants just FWB and you're OK with that, then go and do that. (Personally thats just never been my thing and things always seem to manage to get complicated, but hey, its your choice.) Just be careful, because even THAT can mess up a good friendship.

Another option is just not to get involved with anyone or anything right now. I mean considering you JUST broke up with your bf not long ago right? Maybe it would be good to clear your head and really figure out what YOU really want. (Not just hook up with your friend just because he is there.) Just a suggestion. I mean why rush anything right? You've been single all of what? A few weeks or maybe a month right?

[Gigabitch]

You should tell him what you want, and see what he comes back with. Don't leave the decision up to him.

[nyc123]

i broke it off completely with the guy. he was fun to kiss, but he's kind of a player... i found out he's still hooking up with his ex-girlfriend who is still in love with him (and who is my friend). too much drama in this situation for me to stay involved, and he's a good friend, so i'd rather not stick around long enough to find a reason to hate him... just an update on the situation

[vashti]

Good. FWB arrangements never work out.