Is there something wrong with me?

[Vroom_Screech]

First of all, hello to everyone, Im new here.

Now my problem. I have this girl, who I started talking to about a month ago. We knew of each other but never really talked. Well we have been talking and flirting back and forth for a while. During this period she got back with her ex. Since then they have broken up and things had been going really good for me. I started to feel like I was getting "friend-zoned" So one night were casually talking and she said she needed to tell me something and it was really hard for her to do. I tend to be self-defeating so I thought it was the inevitable "I like you, but as a friend" moment. Much to my surprise, she admitted that she did like me, but a lot. The hard part was saying that she couldnt be in any sort of a relationship or anything cause she was going through a tough breakup. (Her ex was a dick. Even more-so after they broke up.) It instantly made me happy, and things seemed to be going awesome. Weve been getting closer and closer. Things seem to be going great and she makes me so happy. I make her happy too, so it seems promising.

The reason I think somethings wrong with me is because we were talking the other night and we got on the subject of relationships. She said that she never really "did anything" in terms of sex with anyone except her ex. She said that she regretted doing it and was visibly upset by it. Apparently it was both of their first time and he kind of guilted her into it.

For some reason this bothers me. IDK if its because shes not a virgin or if its because of the circumstances. I feel like Im an ass for even feeling upset about it. Im far from a virgin so I kind of hate myself for it. Is there something wrong with me for feeling so bad about this? Were not even dating. (Yet hopefully) I know Ill get over it, but am I bad person for being upset by this?

[Spring Haze]

You're only a "bad person" if you judge her based on her past.

[Vroom_Screech]

Well I feel no differently about her. I could never judge her because just talking to her makes me feel so amazingly good I cant even put it into words. I want to say its the circumstances of how it happened and how she feels bad that bothers me, but I dont know if thats true or not. I know I will get over it because my ex liked to do horrible things that I got over. It actually kind of makes me want to be there for her even more. Just to prove that not all guys are assholes after only one thing.

[shheadz]

I think you should read the shining knight syndrome thread. You also might want to take a slight step back from this girl. You're letting her unhappiness affect your own emotional well being in a mildly unhealthy way.

Beyond that, I don't understand what you're upset about. That she's not a virgin? Well, get over it. The older you get, the longer the sexual history will be with all the women you meet. There's nothing you can do about it.

[Vroom_Screech]

I read the shining knight thing before I ever posted. Describes my relationship with my ex to a t. But with this girl there is nothing to fix. She is perfect. Its just this one thing and the more I think about it the less it matters. I guess it really was her regret rubbing off. Otherwise she makes me happy.

[Coco]

I don't get it. Why would you be upset because she regrets losing her virginity to her ex? This is just fcuking stupid.

[Vroom_Screech]

Maybe that's why I was asking hmm? This was a massive waste of time. Not one single person answered the question without first acting like I was some sort of immature kid.

[Coco]

You don't get it. It doesn't even make sense for you to get mad at something like that. You don't even know why you are actually mad or the reason behind it so how can anyone give you advice?

[shheadz]

Not one single person answered the question without first acting like I was some sort of immature kid.

You're freaking out that a girl you like isn't a virgin. What are we to think?

[shheadz]

Oh, also this...

It actually kind of makes me want to be there for her even more. Just to prove that not all guys are assholes after only one thing.

I think you need to read that shining knight thread again. To me anyway it's clear you're still doing whatever it was you were doing with your ex.

[lahnnabell]

The Shining Knight syndrome isn't a problem in the sense that a guy pretends to care about a girl so that he can get some. It is an issue because a Shining Knight will bend over backwards to "help" a girl/woman, even when it is not in her best interest. Yes, we ladies love to courted and cared for, but we also need to learn to be emotionally independent and self-sufficient. You sticking around for the sheer sake of proving to her that she is worth better is a good example of Shining Knight Syndrome. This is not something you can teach her, nor is it your responsibility to do so.

Two people can only form a successful relationship when they can deal with their own baggage. She's on the rebound, and she's got some personal issues to deal with about the decisions she made with her ex. You cannot help her through this.

[lhn]

Whats the actual problem. Is it that she has been with someone else sexually? Does that bug u out? Or is it a problem because she was unhappy that it was with him? - does is both you that it COULD have been with you instead and you would have made her happier (in your opinion)?

People aren't here to judge, but you haven't exactly zoned-in by any great detail with either your feelings or what triggers them.