rebound or more??

[mint julep 2010]

this is a wee bit complicated, so please bear with me.

i was seeing this man in california until i moved to the east coast (dc) for grad school. all in all, we saw each other on and off for 8 months until new year's eve when we broke things off for good. this happened when i went back to california to visit over winter break. three days later i got on craigslist to find a buddy to explore some museums around the city, strictly platonic. i didn't expect to meet someone i was interested in besides good conversation. this new guy and i hit it off nicely on our first meeting, said goodbye and parted ways. he struck a chord in me, however, and i realized i was attracted to him.

anyway, he ended up asking me out again, which turned into a one night stand. he knew i was only in town for a short while, plus he himself is moving to new york city at the end of the month. we ended up seeing each other one more time the next night (another one night stand), which was the night before i flew out back to the east coast. but that last night he started asking me how apart dc and nyc was. i think he wants to see me again...but i ended up fessing up that i just broke up with someone. i think it surprised him. i'm glad i was honest, but am worried i may have sent him running.

at the same time, i feel like i used him because i enjoyed the attention he gave me during the rebound period, but then again, he might've only been interested in the physical aspect of it too.

now i'm feeling more attached and yet so bewildered by my whole trip. he said he'd be in touch, wished me a nice trip, and that the east coast awaits us both. do you think it's wise for me to actually expect him to give me a call or something??

thanks for your advice in advance!!

[jav1231]

I think it's natural. You explore it, see where it takes you. You don't just stop because you think it's rebound. You have to explore your own feelings. He's knows he's taking a risk. Be open and honest and see where it goes.

I'm in a similar situation. Someone came back into my life and it was short-lived. This old flame essentially left me again and it's been very hard. An old, dear friend helped me through it and we've grown close. We're exploring a relationship and hopefully it will develop. We're both older, I'll say over 35. We've had lives, loves, marriages. So that helps. We can be more honest about things than young people tend to. I let her know straight up I don't want this to be a rebound but that risk is there. She's wiling to take it. We're hoping for the best.

Good luck to you!

[Coco]

Aww. I live in DC too.

Anywho... You did the right thing by being open and honest. Part of moving on is exploring so like jay1231 says, see where it goes because so far he hasn't given you a negative response.

[mint julep 2010]

thank you both kindly for your thoughts on my situation, and for sharing your own experiences.

i'm torn between letting him be the first to contact me (which he hasn't yet...but it's been a grand total of three days) or to contact him and let him know that he means more to me than a one night stand. maybe it was that for him. sigh, dunno. i think i'll let it be for a bit while i adjust back to the east coast...

[Elle_Boogie]

I say you wait for him to call you, and if it ends up being weeks, hit him up. If he doesn't call you first tho, it could means he's A) Not that interested, or B) He wanted to make sure you were.